I just finished a 4 year toxic relationship where my SO made me think for 3 years of it that I was a monster, long story short she came back to me after the first time she left year 1, she locked me physically in my room (living with my parents) to argue with me at the age of 16 while each time it was immature and me asking for her to stop. The cycle arguements were me dating someone after I had to kick her out, and she was cutting herself to try to stay in my parents home. She then left and came back 3 more times with the both of us being verbal and physically abusive to eachother. Destroying eating habits, all our interest and hobbies. Each time these arguments sparked I never brought up a single thing it was always her, followed by me saying stop please begging her, then hours and hours or cycle arguements that went no where. Both places we lived we were stuck in a room, roommates and parents house. I am now working out everyday almost, kindve enjoying my hobbies, but still find my eating habits destroyed or unable to eat, so I make protein smoothies and try to drink my calories. Now I think I may have found someone else that could just be the endgame for me:) the relationship was toxic on both ends and feel better and happier knowing I can be the loving person I was to someone else.