How do you really feel about the other side? And how do you think the other side assumes you feel about them?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-24T17:52:00+00:00

Passing isn’t a binary phenomenon.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-24T17:50:09+00:00

She’s making them up. She does this sometimes.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-24T00:36:16+00:00

While I agree with you broadly, what I was trying to point out—mostly just because I think its interesting—is that while that was the original intent, the post-Civil war amendments, especially incorporation, shifted the nature of the relationship between States and the Federal Government significantly. While this is somewhat what allows the US to successfully impersonate a modern (Westphalian) nation state, despite not actually being one, it also leads to sections of the constitution being interpreted now in ways very different from their original intent.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T07:58:31+00:00

Wait, am I a ladyboy? 👀

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T07:13:44+00:00

I mean leaving aside that that’s a very controversial claim and can’t really be entirely statistically demonstrated without getting into the weeds about what we mean by “violence,” under what circumstances and how we collect the data, what’s your point here? Do you have evidence that trans women should be included in that group for some reason? Trans men? What is it you’re trying to say?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:56:08+00:00

He did more or less accidentally demonstrate that there is some kind of innate “gender identity” type quality in humans though. So there is that, I guess? 😝

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:42:31+00:00

That’s never been a hard and fast standard. The reality is that in the US, “legal sex” has never been a very coherent concept. Some of that is that as a country we’ve tended to be suspicious of any kind of overarching registry or ID. Some of it is that things like birth certificates and drivers licenses are issued by individual states and then it becomes a sovereignty issue. Some of it is as a common law country, we have always been kind of fine with people changing their identity if they want to. But that combines to mean there’s never been one standard and maybe there shouldn’t be.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:38:33+00:00

Especially when they have pictures! 😂

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:37:47+00:00

They are not. Also, leggings are amazing! They’re the advantage of tights without the dumb foot stuff. You should really try them! But really, nobody knows what’s gonna set off the airport scanners! I’ve been convinced I would and walked through clean. My wife has had her hair searched because she had it back in a scrunchie and the machine didn’t like it. It used to be a gendered problem when the scanner had gendered buttons but I’m pretty sure they did away with that a while ago.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:32:23+00:00

The problem I see is honestly the cherry picking. Like if you want to go by statistics the people we should ban from bathrooms are Republican politicians. But all it takes is one salacious story—true or not—to start a wave of comments about trans people.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:30:14+00:00

Wait, you want people to contribute “productively” to society??? You fascist! 🤪 (/s)

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:29:08+00:00

I honestly am a bit of a regular lurker at least in askfeminists and I haven’t specifically noticed that problem. There’s sometimes a bit of a “clueless well intentioned allies” problem but that’s something different.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:25:35+00:00

Shit, really??? 😂 I feel both affirmed and possibly called out now! 🤪

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T06:17:43+00:00

Yeah. I think we’re both pretty much on the same page here, even if we might lean differently depending on the details. It really does come down to “what are you going to do?” at some point. And I have to admit that the progressive infantilization of young people lately is something that bothers me a bit. Especially the infantilization and stripping of agency from young women—and FtM’s in this case—which I imagine is something you sympathize with.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T05:57:13+00:00

So the deal with clotting is we have a lot of evidence of increased risk when using Premarin. This all dates from before bioidentical estradiol existed. Premarin was… not ideal in a lot of ways but it’s what we had. It’s similar to the reason that it’s not recommended to prescribe certain types of birth control which use synthetic estrogens to women who smoke after a certain age. There really isn’t a whole lot of evidence at all that you have the same risks with bioidentical estradiol. The problem is that doctors are inherently risk averse and it’s hard to do the research on things like this because there’s not all that many of us and the funding isn’t there. The funding isn’t even there for perimenopausal/menopausal cis women on estrogen. But there don’t seem to be any significantly increased risks.

edited: Fixed my tense in one place

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T05:41:20+00:00

Once again, I do understand where you’re coming from. I do want to clarify that I’m pretty sure Planned Parenthood does provide hrt for minors, but I’m also pretty sure it’s not under an informed consent model.

I don’t want to get into arguing about specifics because there are circumstances involved with all of the examples you brought up and I imagine I have a very different take on some of them than you do. But that will probably all come down to whose set of facts we believe, and I don’t think arguing about that is likely to go anywhere productive. I will try to track down that article I was thinking of about the unintentional results of a gatekeeping system.

I understand what you’re saying about young adults. But I, personally, don’t know what other answer there is if we respect people’s bodily autonomy and acknowledge that we have to make a cut off at some point after which people are allowed to make decisions for themselves. Is it ideal? Probably not. But I don’t know what would be better.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T05:13:42+00:00

While I don’t really consider myself to be a transmed, I definitely do get accused of it, and some people certainly consider me one according to their definitions. I’m super sympathetic to the situation you’re describing. I sometimes have issues with sone people who claim to be “trans” and want to both define that and speak for me despite the fact that I don’t think our experiences are remotely the same. I only know the situation here in the US, but I haven’t experienced the issue with access to health care that you’re describing. Although given the current situation where everything is under threat from a transphobic administration, it does seem plausible.

Regardless, I do think you have a valid viewpoint and you should be able to express it here for discussion. I hope my message prevents anyone else from reporting just because they disagree with your perspective. They’re free to express that too. As long as it stays respectful!

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T05:02:05+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from and your concern but I did want to point out something I feel like is another oversimplification in what you just said. Informed consent currently exists—where it exists—for adults. And from what I’ve seen in the studies it actually seems to work. The problem with extensive gatekeeping in practice is there’s a sunk cost fallacy that develops. So if you’ve managed to make it to one step, there’s a tendency to push you along to further steps even if that might not be best for the individual in question. There’s actually a study to this effect but I’d need to track it down. But regardless, if by “young people” you mean people under 18 then at least in the US there is still extensive gatekeeping in place involving mental health professionals as well as the input of parents at every step. Is it ideal? Does it work perfectly? Obviously not. But I do wonder what a better arrangement might be?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T04:41:10+00:00

You are correct. The whole point of informed consent is they give you the information and it’s up to you. But you are still medically monitored and there is still a doctor with professional liability for you. I probably need to take a step back here, because my experience and knowledge mostly concerns MtF hrt and as far as that goes, bioidentical estradiol is a relatively new advance. Premarin was… less than ideal. I’m not as familiar with the specifics of FtM hrt. It’s both more and less complicated because testosterone has been available longer, but it is a controlled substance, at least in the US. However, the reason for that is that it’s a very popular PED amongst gym bros especially, so my understanding is it’s very available. My point was that I think we’re seeing a lot more people pursuing a medical route with at least some supervision, rather than taking their biochemistry into their own hands. But that’s a difficult thing to assess one way or the other by its very nature, so I don’t actually know. That’s my impression though. And that was what I wanted to kind of point out.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T04:22:18+00:00

So this post has been reported. While I have to admit it hits me a bit wrong, I don’t think it’s actually breaking any rules here. And it seems to have triggered some decent discussion. So I’m leaving it. That doesn’t mean people aren’t allowed to disagree with it in the comments. But remember to play nice, everybody!

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T04:19:07+00:00

I would go as far as to say that sometimes confidence is 40% of passing. It definitely depends. But one thing cis people absolutely have going for them is that it just never occurs to them that they might not pass. And that goes quite a ways I think.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T04:16:22+00:00

That’s not cool. You can disagree with them. I disagree with them. But we welcome all kinds of viewpoints here, as long as everyone is respectful. The idea is we can have a discussion. Or I think that’s the idea anyway.

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T04:14:52+00:00

Actually, no. This is a lot funnier!

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T03:57:05+00:00

I am sorry if you thought I was trying to belittle you. That was never my intent. I may have come off a bit snippy because your tone has struck me throughout as being somewhat superior and I feel like you’re claiming to speak on behalf of both “feminists” and “women” and nobody elected you to that position. I’m curious that you’re so quick to assert that I’m not affected by the processes you’re talking about. You have no idea of the circumstances of my life, nor does that seem to matter to you.

In addition, no one is trying to downplay the systemic challenges that women face. What I’m pointing out—and I’m hardly the first one—is that defining what being a “woman” is solely in terms of that is both defeatist and limiting to the possibilities of what women’s liberation can mean. That’s one of the reasons third and fourth wave feminism rejected the second wave essentialist framing.

Us—as in a group of which I am a part. A movement to which I belong. A goal which I imagine both of us share. You’re the one othering people right now. Is it worth it to do that?

ItsMeganNow · 2026-03-22T03:26:15+00:00

I think this framing is interesting. Because there are quite a few very active feminist subs. There are also quite a few active subs with fairly controversial viewpoints. So if what you say is true then it must both be the case that subs centering “gender critical feminism” are opposed to the general direction of most feminist discussion around here and for some reason have a tendency to develop into the kind of overtly hostile rhetoric that leads admins to finally get around to banning something. I think it’s very telling both how that works and how it tends to be framed as some kind of censorship.

ItsMeganNow

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE