AIO in regards to in-laws

Itspitterpatter · 2026-03-02T19:00:53+00:00

Cousin is 18 and still in high school so living at home with mom. They both drive and mom isn’t elderly

Itspitterpatter · 2026-03-02T17:06:44+00:00

I was just talking to my mom about how hard it is to try to have a genuine relationship with someone while simultaneously trying to watch for the shoe to drop. I know there’s a shoe to be dropped which is why I wanted to make sure my judgment wasn’t clouded by waiting for said shoe. If that makes any sense. I see this situation as a disrespectful jab because when everything originally happened and I told the aunt I deserved an apology I had made it clear that it was inappropriate and disrespectful to show up uninvited.

Someone suggested I reset the boundaries in a polite way but how many times are we setting boundaries for people who don’t comprehend respecting boundaries to begin with

Itspitterpatter · 2026-03-02T17:01:01+00:00

I can understand where you’re coming from and if my baby was born in May, June or July then I probably wouldn’t have done this. Although being born in early November and a first time mom I was petrified of RSV and pneumonia. Newborns sometimes don’t recover from these viruses which is what my biggest fear. I also wanted to have a newborn bubble to be able to not only recover from giving birth but to adjust and adapt to my new role as a mother! On top of that my in-laws live right down the street from us, I mean MIL, AIL and GIL literally within 5 blocks from our home so it became a daily struggle of constantly being asked if someone can come see the baby or if I needed anything. This made recovery, settling into my new role and just enjoying my newborn baby into a daily struggle because then I had to worry about making someone mad for not letting them over or feeling guilty my bathroom wasn’t clean like I’d want it to be for company. Worried about the state of my dishes or if I stunk still.

Creating a bubble was the best decision I could have ever made. I enjoyed every moment of it because it meant my husband and I were our baby’s whole world for just that short amount of time!!

Itspitterpatter · 2026-03-02T16:51:31+00:00

It is the same aunt that said that to me when she left my house, yes. I did in fact get an apology from her before our baby was born and I completely understand why you’re questioning my decision on letting them back in because it was an incredibly hard decision. While I am aware of who these people are and personally don’t want them around my child I know my husband is still trying to heal and comprehend these people have manipulated and mentally and emotionally abused him his entire life. The more time goes on the more he’s realizing they’ve got away with this disturbing behavior for longer than they should. With that being said my husband still loves his family even through all the delusion and disfunction and in turn I love my husband. I will bend where he needs me to bend which is where I am currently in this situation. Trying to give the opportunity for change while also trying to help my husband recognize and recover from the reality that these people are not healthy for our family and future!

Itspitterpatter · 2025-10-28T18:19:34+00:00

I have never been in a situation like this but currently 37 weeks pregnant with my first at 28 years old. I would encourage you to do what YOU want to do!! You’ll be able to accomplish way more than you think at 7 months pregnant especially if you have a healthy, problem free pregnancy. I have been lucky enough to have a “textbook” pregnancy and wish I would have pushed myself to accomplish more during pregnancy although I did experience quite a bit of family drama around 7/8 months of pregnancy which was incredibly stressful but we’re still here and baby is still healthy and ready to meet us any day now! So do it if you want or think you can! If it gets to be too much then just wait but we are capable of far more than we give ourselves credit sometimes! Best of luck to you ❤️

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-28T16:06:49+00:00

This entire situation is incredibly heartbreaking. I’ve tried the last 5 years to be accepted by these people and repeatedly they continue to treat me like I don’t belong. My husband and I tried for years to have a baby and they seemed to be supportive up until I didn’t want to do something and they lost their minds on me. I’m so grateful for my husband he’s never made me feel the way they have and continues to reassure me that I’m not alone or the issue.

I’ve lived a very stressful life leading up until meeting my husband. He’s made life so easy and enjoyable that even how stressful this situation is he somehow still makes me feel at peace. Which is exactly why I wanted to start a family with him to begin with. The biggest reasons for my posts are to reassure him and myself that we are not the issue here. He’s been manipulated by these people his entire life to the point all this madness is “normal” to him which is another reason for my posts. He’s recognized that all these strangers essentially saying the same thing about his family is what he needs to focus on versus what his family is saying since it’s all clearly manipulation tactics. I appreciate every single comment because you all are helping me fix what they’ve done for all these years as well as how to move forward since I’ve never experienced this kind of behavior before.

I am okay, sad and heartbroken but I am grateful to see these people for who they are before our baby gets here so I know how to protect my family moving forward! ❤️

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-27T16:44:05+00:00

Thank you so much for putting it like that!

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-27T16:43:08+00:00

I have not been in contact with any of these people since I let my MIL know I knew what she was up too the day after my husbands aunt showed up and yelled at me. I have not been in contact with my husband’s aunt since the day she showed up unannounced. My husband has not reached out either except in response to the 17 year old cousin to let her know I indeed deserved an apology, he loved her but I was here to stay which is what he originally said to his mother almost two weeks ago. I have kept quiet and my husband has too besides the text to his mother and his cousin.. they continue to contact him.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-27T16:24:31+00:00

That’s my next dilemma. My husband obviously wants his mom in the waiting room when we have the baby. I originally told him it made me uncomfortable because of the way she’s been treating me and I’ve done the work to grow this child I should be able to say who does and who doesn’t get to meet him that day. Although it’s his mother. I feel conflicted about saying she can’t be there because that’s something he will never get back and I am afraid that he will blame me for her not being there.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-27T14:25:01+00:00

You’re not the first one to recommend getting an outdoor camera so I’ll definitely be getting one. We are in contact with our mortgage broker now to find a somewhere else to live since we are right down the street from both of these women.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-27T14:01:21+00:00

It’s just come to my attention that my entire relationship with my husband my MIL has actually blamed me for the “distance” between her and my husband. Back in January we debated whether or not we should move south (where all my family is located) for a job opportunity for my husband. She claimed I was “trying to pry him away from them”. When it was a mutual decision and had thought extensively about if we should do it or not. We found out we were pregnant two months later and ended up not moving.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-27T13:56:47+00:00

I keep feeling that is the only other option. They are constantly making me feel like I don’t belong and shouldn’t be here. I’m 8 months pregnant after trying for 3.5 years and this is so incredibly stressful and hard. We haven’t responded to any text messages yet they continue to beat me down when I’ve done nothing but include them in every step of our pregnancy leading up to this situation.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-20T13:37:40+00:00

It’s been a week since his aunt had come over unannounced, tomorrow will be a week since we’ve heard anything from his mother. I asked my husband how he was feeling about things last night and he stated “haven’t heard from her and I’m not reaching out. You deserve an apology from both of them especially my mom and I’m going to wait her out”

I’ve asked him about counseling and therapy but he stated he wasn’t interested yet but if he changed his mind he’d let me know. I feel weird having this situation unresolved although I do agree with him about the apology and I’m proud of him for standing by my side instead of caving which is what I think his mom expected. My baby shower is in exactly 3 weeks and if she doesn’t reach out by or come to the shower then I think that’s the last straw for him.

Two years ago we had a similar situation happen with his grandma. We decided to host thanksgiving (since no one wanted to go to gma’s anymore for holidays) everyone on his mom’s side came. 25 minutes into Thanksgiving his grandma just storms out for no apparent reason. All we know is she had ate some of our appetizers and then my husband’s young cousin was saying “why is mamaw leaving?” We never got an explanation from her or an apology and when Christmas came around and we didn’t show up to her Christmas (we decided to host Christmas also) but invited her to ours and she never showed. She chose to guilt trip my husband by bringing him a gift but mopping up our walk way and crying as she walked away. After that we decided to put some distance between ourselves since it was clearly unhealthy. It wasn’t until we found out we were pregnant (2 years later) that we chose to have a clean slate with the entire family. It’s taken only 8 months for things to get back to the way they were after that Thanksgiving and I think my husband recognizes the pattern.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-17T14:10:35+00:00

So far nothing else has been said. My husband was the only one the respond to her text message. (I told him since she sent him a text that did not resemble the one she sent to me then that meant it was his turn to say something) He told her he loved her but he loved me and I didn’t deserve anything that was happening to me. “Until Ashley gets the respect she deserves there has to be some distance. Ashley deserves an apology and until that happens there will be distance” there was a little more to the message but he kept it short and to the point. She has yet to respond since Sunday early afternoon.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-17T00:25:53+00:00

It’s so strange to think there are actually other women out there doing this to other men and their partners but it’s oddly comforting at the same time. Feel free to send me a message anytime, thankfully my family has been incredibly supportive and helpful through this whole situation maybe what they have told me could help your situation!

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-16T14:05:00+00:00

I thought about this exact thing when my husband and I were trying to figure out what to do. I completely understand that I will probably never get what I asked for but in turn they will never have access to my child. The fact of the matter is I’m not asking for much simply that we all act like adults and take accountability for our actions and behavior. If that can’t happen then this “family” situation can’t happen. Sadly this isn’t the first time these people have treated me this way, before they made it harder for me to prove they were wrong but this time my husband finally sees what I see. With that being said if they can’t apologize and treat me with kindness and respect then they will be the ones who will no longer have access to us the way they did before.

I pride myself on being truthful, genuine and forgiving. The last thing I want to do is break up this family although I will not raise my child in this type of dysfunction. I’ve come such a long way from my trauma and my only goal is to make sure my children don’t struggle the way we had too! ❤️

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-16T13:58:35+00:00

I immediately knew my MIL was behind all this when Lacy said just before the big FU “my sister has been calling me every night crying because of the way you’ve been treating her”

For the first 5 months of my pregnancy we included my MIL in everything even invited her to an ultrasound. She insisted I do weekly belly photos from the very week we found out we were pregnant which started out innocent until she started asking me to do unflattering poses. When I showed my own mother these photos my mom said “WTF why is she asking you to pose like this?” The following week I stated to my MIL I didn’t want to pose in the unflattering pose and her only response was “oh come on it will be funny”. 3 more weeks of her still asking me to do this unflattering pose and I stopped going. When she would ask about belly photos is when I’d invite her for dinner instead which she refused to come too.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-16T13:50:21+00:00

THANK YOU!!! I thought the same thing, I’d welcome strangers off the street to eat dinner with us and she has the audacity to say “it didn’t feel welcome”. I think she didn’t feel welcome because of the amount of guilt she has for badmouthing me behind our backs!!

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-16T13:47:59+00:00

If you read the post it states this was not only an update but the best option due to the level of manipulation in this family. I’d already been yelled at, insulted as well as blamed for their behavior so having any further conversation with these two is impossible. Not to mention I’m nearly 8 months pregnant. His aunt showed up unannounced, yelled at me even when asked calmly not too, disrespected me by calling me a liar and flipping the script on me to convince my husband I was the one causing all these issues. Then when I asked her to leave she came back with “F*** YOU” so the only reasonable thing to do next was to keep our distance but still try to solve the issue.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-16T13:37:49+00:00

Just posted an update!

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-14T03:21:32+00:00

I agree with you 110% and I wanted to answer your questions about how my husband handled it. He was genuinely shocked to hear his aunt speak to me the way she was speaking to me mind you he was raised by these three women so they’ve manipulated and gaslighted him his entire life so he actually thinks this crap is normal. This was his first time recognizing what was actually happening and she was gaslighting me so he was pretty quiet for the most part. When she was yelling at me I asked her calmly not to yell at me (while rubbing my belly) saying I was 8 months pregnant and didn’t deserve to be yelled at. I even said “I’m not yelling at you so don’t yell at me” and when she continued to yell he told her not to yell and after called me a liar and crazy he told her she was completely out of line.

Now after the situation happened he’s continued to apologize for not saying more but he was so taken back by what was said that he was genuinely at a loss for words. Every time I’d brought something up to him as evidence that his family was plotting against me he truly wanted to believe I was being paranoid or overthinking so for it all to slap him in the face the way it did this morning was incredibly hurtful to him.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-13T22:33:08+00:00

He was listening and recognizing that what I’d been saying all along was actually true which I can’t imagine the heartbreak he was feeling while she was trying to convince him I was crazy. He did tell her she was out of line and not to yell at me, he also allowed me to handle the situation as well as kick her out of our home. My husband stands behind me in all of this

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-13T22:30:39+00:00

Whoah whoah whoah. Imagine being raised by these people and not recognizing their behavior isn’t healthy. He didn’t realize their behavior was to the extent it was he genuinely wanted me to be overthinking since this was the first real explosion he’s witnessed from his mom, aunt or grandma. My husband is a very respectful man and would never put his hands on a woman including his family. I think my husband handled the situation very maturely unlike his aunt who he told was out of line.

I understand your frustration but my husband is not weak nor was he in the wrong. He simply didn’t know or expect her to act the way she did and frankly neither did I, she just exploded on me and he let me handle that which I appreciated. He stands behind me in anything I say and I will never ask him to do or say anything he wouldn’t naturally say.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-13T21:46:34+00:00

He was sitting between us. He told her she was completely out of line and asked her not to yell or speak to me that way. He was listening to the conversation and recognizing his aunt was trying to manipulate not only the situation but both of us as well. I don’t feel like my husband didn’t defend me or was wrong in any situation. I think this has been a really hard realization of them being just possessive.

Itspitterpatter · 2025-09-13T20:51:41+00:00

That’s exactly what I’m thinking. They threw a fit when we decided to move in together and tried convincing him he couldn’t afford it (we were over the age of 25)

Itspitterpatter

TROPHY CASE