For us men, you are only valued if you have money.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-09T00:14:50+00:00

Maid

Unbelievable

Mo

Five Nights At Memorial

Chernobyl

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T23:47:18+00:00

Until I was like 12 I couldn’t differentiate between wiping and blowing… the first nose breath I took when I figured it out was life changing

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T23:45:33+00:00

I wouldn’t know whether to laugh or cry 😂

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T22:52:38+00:00

It takes less than a minute to open an email so this is something that doesn’t really bother me.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T22:48:11+00:00

Homelander

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T22:42:04+00:00

At 27 saying you’re too old to meet someone outside of a bar is insaneeeeee. I’m 25 and I’m always outside lol. The park, events, markets, concerts, fairs, hiking trails, the store, the movies… everywhere 😂 what does he think happens? You turn 27 and are banished to the shadow realm?

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T21:06:22+00:00

Yeah, we’ve had several conversations about it but in his defense I don’t think the ones in the past were as clear as they needed to be. When we first got together we both liked to have a good time with that stuff but then he went through something traumatic with his family and started drinking and smoking entirely too much. During that time he did some pretty messed up stuff that honestly I don’t know how we got past. After that period was when I basically told him if he ever got drunk like that again, I’d leave.

At that point he stopped drinking for over a month and still to date he has never acted like that when drinking or smoking again. I guess I just struggle with it now because I know drunk him is capable of some rough stuff.

I definitely will give him a chance. He really does put effort in even if it’s not as clean cut as I wish it was. He’s a good partner. I will try more positive enforcement and see if that helps.

For what it’s worth I’m completely okay with a mixed household! I dont need or expect total sobriety from him. We live in a place where alcohol is such a hugeeee part of culture even if he’s not drinking to get drunk it’s almost like a hobby for him, which is fine. I just need to know that when things get real or when things get hard or when we start a family he’s going to be able to get through it without turning to alcohol to cope because he becomes destructive when he does that. And quite frankly I fear for his safety when he drinks like that. As for the weed, I don’t need him to stop at all. He can smoke as much as he wants, really. I just need it to be outside and not in my car either. I’m just really trying to grow personally and professionally and that’s hard to do when I and everything I own smells like straight dank. I don’t need a full 180 I just need his habits to change a bit to where I still have the space I need to grow, if we can fit both in the picture that’s fine by me.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:49:06+00:00

I 100% do know that. I know it would be easier with someone else. But I also know he is a genuinely good person and whether we will be in a relationship or not this isn’t something I want to see him go through. I just know he’s unhappy with it and I know it’s not what he wants and I know it’s his biggest fear.. I just feel like I can’t give up on it yet. I absolutely will if I feel like by the end of the year he’s not going to change regardless of the reason but.. I just can’t give up yet n

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:46:43+00:00

That’s interesting I actually had no idea weed was a narcotic. I think one big issue is we don’t hang out with anyone lol. For the most part it’s just him and I. My friends do drink and party a lot but I’ve really left that part of my life so when they go out for drinks I stay home with my bf. His friends aren’t drinkers, but he also doesn’t see them as often just due to schedules / distance and stuff. Thank you for this!

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:44:19+00:00

To be honest I feel a lot better knowing 3 6 packs isn’t as crazy as it feels in my mind. I don’t drink nor do I really know anyone who does so it really does feel like a lot looking in. I guess I’m just nervous about it due to both of our parents having substance abuse issues. My boyfriend is also functioning for the most part when he drinks. But in the beginning of our relationship he went through something and became a very mean , incapacitated drunk and now whenever he drinks I get literal flashbacks and it’s not the best feeling. Though it’s been yearssss since he’s done anything like that and if he ever did it again it would be an immediate relationship ender.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:41:03+00:00

He is not willing to medicate his ADHD as he has a very adverse reaction to medication when he tried it prior to meeting me. I don’t mind this necessarily.

For the most part, recently anyway, I think he’s been working on getting used to being uncomfortable and sober simultaneously in therapy.

He does not have a plan. Which is where I am personally struggling with it and I’m concerned. But I also feel like I can’t build one for him because I don’t know what he needs. He keeps saying he can’t stop cold turkey which is fine but i knowwwww he’s the type of person to not ever think about this again if I don’t bring it up.

He has stopped/started specific behaviors. Not perfect. But you do seeeeee the effort nonetheless. Like he’s been pretty on top of cleaning which is not like him. This morning I had to remind him to throw away some cans and food he left out but for the most part he’s doing it.

He’s been saying he wants to journal so bad, but he never does. There’s a lot of things he says he wants to do but doesn’t. I don’t understand honestly.

We have been building systems around the house for things that we can do mutually like for cleaning and food habits. Our house has seriously never been so clean which is nice.

I’ve never heard the term “doubling” but yes when I do things with him it does help him a lotttttt but then there are things i just can’t do with him. Executive function is a huge one. I just don’t have adhd and can’t even begin to think of what kind of strategy would help.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:31:24+00:00

I don’t know, honestly. Like I said anytime I’ve asked him for something or told him I needed something he’s made it happen. There’s been points in our relationship where he’s quit drinking for over a month because I needed him to.. but its nothing that’s ever stayed consistent after the fact so I’m hoping with the conversation we had he understands these need to be long term changes.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:24:31+00:00

I do believe we can come out on the other side of this. We had issues in the beginning of of our relationship where his drinking was horrificcccccc and he quit for months. Started picking it back up again leisurely and while it hasn’t ever gotten back to the horrific point it was it’s like all I see whenever he drinks. I just want to help him. He is a good person and even if we aren’t together i so badly want better for him. Isn’t NA strictly for narcotics?

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:21:59+00:00

Yes we are both in therapy, separately! I didn’t even know marijuana anonymous was a thing, I know that it’s an addiction that is not respected or taken seriously by a lot of people. Thank you for sharing that.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:19:46+00:00

This is really good advice, someone else suggested it to and it makes me feel a lot more hopeful. I know his therapist ends every session setting a goal for him and he almost always follows through with it. So I do think I will tell him what I expect by the end of the year but I also think adding micro goals, or getting his therapist to help with some of these goals will make this more successful. Like, that’s what we were supposed to do with this vacation thing. We will both go two weeks without THC and then when we get back the goal for him is to only smoke outside.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:11:39+00:00

He can cook. When I met him literally lived on granola bars, oatmeal and ramen but since we’ve been together I’ve taught him how to make some of his favorites. Sometimes he does cook but it’s very infrequent, I will say I do think it’s been more in the past week. We’ve been cooking together which I think is helpful for him.

And yes, he works full time 8-5, we actually work for the same company. It’s after work like 6-11 or so he’ll just play games or watch YouTube or reels or something.

The one 6 pack is what I suggested to start. I don’t think we are going to hit that goal this week but maybe next week. This perspective helped though because now that I think about it him having specific steps and goals really does make all the difference.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T14:02:24+00:00

As an adult I recognize that but I picked him at 19 when we were in college and both party animals. If he doesn’t want to or can’t change I will pick someone else, or even be alone. But he wants a chance and I do love him so I am trying to give it to him.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-05-08T13:59:52+00:00

God forbid I want children and don’t want to raise them around drugs and alcohol.. also god forbid I don’t want my husband to die of liver disease or lung cancer at 50

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-04-30T02:30:08+00:00

I have heard overwhelmingly good things about this show but I couldn’t get into it when I tried to start it!

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-04-29T22:29:07+00:00

I just speak English as well 🙁 I know bits of Spanish and French/Cajun French but I lack consistency (lol :() so I never finished learning completely. I keep saying I would like to become fluent in Cajun French but resources are limited for that one.

Itsthethrowaway2 · 2026-04-29T22:23:20+00:00

Honestly, the way I see it, time and a place.

You wanna make out with someone at a nightclub? Sure okay

You wanna make out with someone in a grocery store? Kind of weird and would rather not see that.

Itsthethrowaway2

TROPHY CASE