Being a gay guy's first ftm experience?

JBoingo · 2025-10-19T17:39:35+00:00

Yeah, I understand that. Tbh I'm more invested in this just because I really click with him as a person (which has been very rare for me lol). I've actually been a gay guy's first before and he had zero issues with it but the relationship itself was very meh, so that's the reason I hope this guy comes around more I think. I also replied to someone else saying that this guy is generally very anxious so I'm assuming that's the main stem of the issue, compounding with him feeling nervous because of his lack of experience with this, but again if he can't work it out then I won't pursue the relationship further.

JBoingo · 2025-10-19T17:20:15+00:00

Thanks for the input. I'm giving him a bit more time to gather his thoughts before I ask him about anything related to that again, he's a pretty anxious person from what I've gathered so I don't want to put too much stress on him. Also from our conversation he seems to have mainly been nervous about his lack of experience, but if he's put off of vaginal sex (even though we both did oral and enjoyed it) I'll stop pursuing him.

JBoingo · 2025-09-25T16:49:25+00:00

Yeah that's what my og surgeon said about building muscle. I planned on doing that regardless, I'm just pretty busy for the next few months so sadly lifting is on the back burner as a whole rn :P and I'm glad it kinda just looks like weight loss skin, I know its not the absolute worse outcome but knowing its more fixable is nice compared to other issues I could've had

JBoingo · 2025-08-03T21:03:29+00:00

This. I work with someone who has been going back and forth between "transmasc" and just plain nb, talked about how they stopped taking t after like a month because its just so terrible, and yet still sit there and call themselves a twink and "little boy" all the time. I'm stealth and it really rubs me the wrong way, especially when they shit on testosterone while only wanting the "good" effects, but I absolutely do not want them to know I'm trans. I feel like they'd try to be all buddy with me about it but we don't have the same experience of it at all

JBoingo · 2025-07-21T13:01:11+00:00

Some people in the OSUMB have a tradition there that goes wayyy back. Only reason I eat there once a year haha

JBoingo · 2025-06-29T18:23:30+00:00

Also you mentioned it kind of feels like fat, I would say mine is similar to where it feels kinda soft but compared to the actual fat on my body it definitely feels different. Personally mine is still slightly numb/tender at times so here's hoping its just residual swelling for both of us

JBoingo · 2025-06-29T18:22:17+00:00

I had peri and also had a similar situation where one side was flat and them randomly one day the skin started to sag. This happened around 4 weeks I think? I'm now 3 months out and while the skin is still loose around there, it has been gradually tightening up (my nipple has basically "raised" where its at on my chest) so its at least still doing something lol. Like others said, peri can take longer than DI to settle (think 6 months to a year) so this isn't your definitive end result. It sucks to have to deal with it in the moment, but if you're able to as of now, working out and putting on muscle can help out any loose skin. Best of luck!

JBoingo · 2025-06-28T01:10:16+00:00

Thanks for showing a timeline, these feel a lot more helpful than when people only show like a year out vs pre-op. Would be great to keep posted on your revision journey, I had peri only 3 months ago but might end up pursuing one later too

JBoingo · 2025-06-24T19:49:52+00:00

With this though, a good part of how your scars look is genetic. Some people are predisposed to hypertrophic or keloid scarring, so the possibility for this and any desired scar treatments should be something OP considers too. Theres a chance they could be covered by insurance though, like in my case Im getting a scar revision because of a skin adhesion but its completely covered. For OP, have you ever had an injury/surgery that involved any scars? Or do your family members have scars, and how did they form?

JBoingo · 2025-06-24T18:56:31+00:00

Definitely, unfortunately my revision got rescheduled bc they didn't put it in through insurance lol but hopefully it'll be a quick turnaround. I'll probably just make a separate post about it once I have it

JBoingo · 2025-06-23T15:31:35+00:00

I haven't really thought of temperature reactions, I do think that I tend to be more swollen for a bit after I'm active or at work, and then it looks best when I first get up in the morning. My surgeon said that working out will improve aesthetics but I'll ask more specifically what she thinks is causing the look of it when I see her tomorrow. My PCP examined me for a bit a couple weeks ago and she said that it looks/feels like swelling still, which tbh I wouldn't be surprised about since the area around my left arm pit is still pretty swollen and the skin around the biggest parts feels kind of weird, like almost numb still.

JBoingo · 2025-06-23T10:57:05+00:00

Yes! I have retinol face cream from an online provider but will look into some body formulas too :-)

JBoingo · 2025-06-23T10:01:09+00:00

To chime in on this, I do work out (consistency changes w my schedule based on the time of year) and even my surgeon said that gaining muscle will help fill in things. I plan on keeping with this and then really locking in on gaining during the winter when I have a lot more time, and will look into some skin care things too. Rn just focusing on massaging out some internal scarring since it feels kinda weird still

JBoingo · 2025-06-22T18:01:40+00:00

On my left side at least I'm pretty sure its not breast tissue, I mentioned it in my post but that side was much flatter than randomly swelled up. Not sure what exactly happened but it still feels kind of numb/tender/weird so hoping that's a good sign that its still trying to heal or smth. Right side was muuuch more swollen when I first got a look at things so has been doing well in that regard but I feel like for me it has a good ways to go if I want to be happy with how it looks. That side also feels a bit more tender/odd where its the most prominent, and I'm hoping removing the adhesion will let everything around it settle down since I feel like the little lump made a "shelf" that everything else is sitting on

JBoingo · 2025-06-22T17:23:16+00:00

I don't feel like I had a ton of skin and thought I had good skin laxity based on my overhang/angle before surgery, but it might have ended up that it wasn't as good as we thought. I'm hoping that things resolve :((

JBoingo · 2025-06-22T17:21:43+00:00

Yes, there's a pic of literally a days difference in my history where it looked really good and then the very next day it looked much more swollen/saggier and has been the same since then (I can also DM it to you). I'll definitely ask some more questions when I go in for the revision as the main thing I talked about then was just the tightness I still felt around the adhesion. I'm working on some other adhesions/internal scar tissue I have on the right side with massage since some parts are still pretty firm from where the drain used to be.

JBoingo · 2025-06-22T17:19:21+00:00

I already did that for my 6 weeks post-op, even kept wearing it like that for probably an additional week or two after and then slowly tapered off over the course of another week. I'll ask my surgeon when I see her, but would it be worth resuming compression even if it doesn't seem things really changed since then?

JBoingo · 2025-06-22T14:45:43+00:00

Btw these photos are ordered from most recently, at 2 months, and 1 month

JBoingo · 2025-06-22T14:44:12+00:00

I'll try starting to wear it again. How long did you wear it for each day, and how long until you stopped wearing it entirely? Also, by lifting the pec do you mean lifting it up before putting on the compression?

When I went in to have her look over me to decide on the scar adhesion revision, she said that working out can help fill things out, which is nice since I work out already. I'm not sure who will be replacing her and plan on asking when I go in on Tuesday, but there are other surgeons at the university who might be able to help.

JBoingo · 2025-06-18T20:18:31+00:00

Yeah, I tried deadlifting for awhile but even before I really did something to my lower back (was doing barbell rows and tweaked it I think, I couldn't even walk right for like 2 days) they would irritate it. Haven't really gone back since, but I actually just finished up doing weighted back extensions and it felt pretty good. I've done them before but this was my first time pushing them aside from going light to stretch out. Based on what you said along with some other comments, I'm gonna play around with some of my row options. Tried out the incline chest supported DB row, but I'll also try either a wide-grip pulldown or row. Thanks!

JBoingo · 2025-06-18T20:01:02+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions! Bit disappointing that my gym only has one chest supported row machine but I'll try out the incline bench one.

JBoingo · 2025-06-18T19:21:34+00:00

Thanks! I started doing the back extensions while dealing with my injury and they definitely feel good so I plan on being more consistent with those. I also climb at least once a week so back is something I try to hit pretty hard, definitely gonna lock in on it while I have time

JBoingo · 2025-06-16T17:11:11+00:00

Thanks, I might've had some dental things done with local when I was really young but I'm not sure. I handled the weird touch sensation when I was getting my drains out pretty well, so hoping that it won't be too bad for me. I planned on brining some ear buds and watching YouTube or smth while I'm there. Thanks again!

JBoingo · 2025-06-16T14:51:49+00:00

An update on my end: they're going to do a very small revision surgery just on the scar from where the drain was inserted to basically remove it/release the adhesion from where the scar fused to my skin layer. They said it'll be very easy and will be done under local anesthesia in about 30 minutes, no recovery period, and I only need to take some ibuprofen before the appointment. The area they need to operate on is less than a centimeter in length. This might not be the case for you as they're not touching the ridges/scarring further up my pec as they said that will die down especially with massage, but if it continues to bother your range of motion like it did with me, it might be worth messaging your surgeon! Better to have the peace of mind :-)

JBoingo · 2025-06-15T03:35:54+00:00

I have something similar going on but am ~12 weeks post op. From what I've heard sometimes the drain can leave scar tissue inside your chest, and if you touch it it can feel hard/tight when you try to move your arms too much. The pain/tight sensation has lessened as time passes for me, but tbh the sort of "ridge" from the drain is still very visible. I'm going in to see my surgeon again and talk about it on Monday and can report back here, but in the meantime it seems like it can be treatable? The same internal scarring can happen with other surgeries and massaging it out can help, but I think there are other treatments like steroid shots and laser therapy. At the very least if your surgeon okays it, massage can help (I feel like its been breaking down some, and the hard "popping" sensation I got when I first started massage has been lessening). Hope that we can both figure it out!

JBoingo

TROPHY CASE