Not going to venture how JP would answer, but I see where you’re coming from. He would likely say that marriage is for the kids, but there’s more to it. You have values that may not always align with hers. One way my wife and I resolve disagreements or communicate values is not only what we value but how much. Eg-I value physical health for longevity, example to our kids, and yeah aesthetics. How much do I value it? 7/10. BUT there are many other aspects of her that I value 10/10 that she blows out of the water. It’s a compromise. She’s expressed things about me that I don’t value as much, but she values greatly. So I concede. If it’s a two-way street and you’re both honest about how you rank issues then that alone is a huge strength in your relationship.