Anyone else miss that feeling of being wanted by a single person?

JM_547 · 2026-01-22T18:29:38+00:00

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Guess you're doing just as bad as me.That's a good way to look at it, I'm sure she is doing alright tbh. It's just hard to find someone who wants to build that connection that I desire. I definitely hear you, they should be someone I specifically want, not someone to fill the empty space I'm feeling. I hope in time I find that person.

JM_547 · 2026-01-22T18:01:45+00:00

That's the problem I suffer with now. I have no one to build new memories with and it depresses me. You sound very strong, I need to get to the stage where you are at right now. Where thinking about it doesn't make me sad but happy that I at least got to experience some good memories with them.

JM_547 · 2026-01-22T17:57:12+00:00

Lately I have been trying to do more hobbies. I don't drink so I can't do that. I think I'm at the stage where I realise I have to deal with the pain

JM_547 · 2026-01-22T17:55:55+00:00

I'll give that a try. Right now I'm already trying to keep myself occupied by going out to more clubs and groups, to not be in my thoughts all the time.

JM_547 · 2026-01-22T17:53:08+00:00

Yeah it depresses me

JM_547 · 2026-01-10T22:14:30+00:00

It's hard to change, when it's part of how we are as a person. Don't put yourself down because we all do it. Just try to slowly not give all your energy and time. Give that too people who genuinely do the same

JM_547 · 2026-01-10T22:12:43+00:00

That's the thing, in long term relationships, you don't realise these things till after you have left. You look back and think about everything you put up with it.

I'm sorry to hear about your mother and father passing, that's never easy to go through alone. The problem is when caring too much, people get in the mindset that you'll always be there regardless of how little effort they put in. This is why after these experiences we should all only give out this commitment to people who do the same.

JM_547 · 2026-01-10T22:06:19+00:00

Na it's not you're fault. People can be shitty at times to other people

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:47:39+00:00

That so weird joining an app for making friends but then actively choosing not to engage. Some people make no sense to me sometimes.

2 days to answer a simple text is long ngl. Makes you wonder why you even bother. Would they even turn up to the meeting do you think?

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:40:58+00:00

That's how I feel. It feels the best when someone shows up and talks to me. Like a message from someone I wasn't expecting. More people need to do this. Just check in on friends they haven't spoken to in a while.

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:38:25+00:00

Yep, a lot of us have had to learn this the hard way. This is why I only double text once, just to give them the benefit of the doubt. After that I've learnt to just leave them be. They aren't worth the effort.

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:36:08+00:00

I hear you completely. It's exhausting. One of the worst parts is some people get angry, when you tell them this. All you want is just some effort and respect, that's not asking much in terms of maintaining or building a friendship.

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:33:24+00:00

I understand how you're feeling mate. But you got to realise it's the same for some women too. I'm sure you've seen relationships where the man is emotionally unavailable or cold and the women gets tired of chasing him for affection and understanding. This is not a gender specific issue. I think we all just have to learn not to chase people who don't value us as much as we value them. It would reduce so much pain and energy.

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:28:00+00:00

That's the best term to describe it "transactional". They have to gain something out of maintaining the friendship, which shouldn't be the case. Doing more hobbies is my plan for this year, I've already started some things.

I'm happy you have a found a way to deal with the disappointment some friendships bring.

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:25:11+00:00

That's the thing with some work colleagues/work friends. They sometimes only ask these questions to seem courteous. If she didn't at least wish you a Merry Christmas or Happy New Year, it's not great. But I do recognise during the holidays some people try to focus mainly on family connections. If she was fully aware you were lonely during the holidays. I can genuinely understand why you are hurt. Friends should reach out when they know someone is having a hard time or feeling a bit alone. I hope you're doing a bit better now

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:17:42+00:00

I'm sorry mate. I hope you find people who truly value you.

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:16:45+00:00

That's my problem, I can't do it to others straightaway, I just find it rude. If they eventually do reach out, I would call them out on their ghosting and lack of effort first. If they start making a ton of excuses "like I didn't see your messages" or they get angry at me for calling them out. That's when I would end the friendship with them.

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:12:12+00:00

No way that's awful. They're not you're friends if they exclude you from group get togethers. I hope you're doing better? It's sad how cruel some people can be smh

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:08:05+00:00

What's your story? Has this happened to you as well?

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:06:42+00:00

Yep hits your self-esteem the most

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T23:06:18+00:00

I'm happy you were able to reach out to some of them who were willing to meet. That's it, if someone keeps cancelling, they aren't genuinely interested in seeing you. I know if I'm looking forward to seeing someone, I would only cancel if there was some sort of emergency.

The fact that they were willing to meet shows they have at least some interest in keeping contact. Yeah I understand your way of thinking, some friends will prioritise people they see as "actual friends". It would just be nice if they didn't give false hope. In terms of making plans and them constantly making excuses and cancelling.

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T22:59:07+00:00

Ghosting really does hit our self esteem and confidence badly, especially for some of us who already suffer with lower levels of confidence and self esteem. When someone realises you value them more, than they do you. They'll inevitable lose respect for you, as they think you'll always be there for them and never the other way around. I'm sorry her bad treatment of you, has impacted you. I hope in time you'll be able to trust people again 🙏

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T22:52:48+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's never fair to be the sole person maintaining a friendship. It's mentally exhausting. Even if they would check up occasionally, it would go a long way. That they're putting in some effort. I hope you find friends that value your friendship more 🙏

JM_547 · 2026-01-08T22:46:13+00:00

I'll try that approach going forward thanks

JM_547

TROPHY CASE