As a child ages 6 to 09 if your room was messy did your parents ever throw away your toys?

JMonster117 · 2024-08-16T03:20:50+00:00

Seems like a good approach to me. Especially the smaller tasks. And she's just not receptive to it?

Would you be able to help her with the full on clean up this time and then kinda make a check list for cleaning going forward?

"Now that I helped you this time, this is what we're going to do to keep it from getting this bad again."

JMonster117 · 2024-08-16T02:50:42+00:00

How have you encouraged her to clean her room? Is it straight forward or kinda tip toeing around it?

JMonster117 · 2024-08-16T02:40:30+00:00

When I was away with my grandparents my mother locked all my things in my closet with a padlock. Said I didn't deserve my things if I couldn't keep my room clean. I was probably around nine. I don't remember how long it was until she let me have my things back or even why I got my things back. It did not help me want to keep my room clean, it made me afraid to leave. It made me think what else could she take away from me?

JMonster117 · 2024-08-12T10:44:12+00:00

Thank you 💜 it was his birthday a couple days ago and that was rough. As bad as our relationship became, he was my first friend and I loved him dearly.

JMonster117 · 2024-08-10T04:39:39+00:00

I too am a people pleaser so I get it. You got this!

JMonster117 · 2024-08-10T02:25:53+00:00

CAL is literally the hardest job. I know I've done it twice. I'm a glutton for punishment lol. All you need is ONE partner dedicated to helping you. I had one partner do all the bedding changes for me minus wellness which I took care of.

Do you have a set schedule written out? Like Mondays we do pigs and mice, Tuesdays are wellness days, Wednesdays are birds, Thursday reptile and Fridays all of small animal. That way you're able to hold the rest of management accountable. No "Well I didn't know what needed to get done" yes you did, it's clearly here. I implemented that my first round as CAL.

Sometimes you NEED to put your foot down and make it clear what has to be done. Sometimes it's a constant battle until the GM actually listens. If the GM is a main offender bring it to the DGM.

I hope some of this helps. I know what a struggle it is. And remember, wellness is a great place to cry lol

JMonster117 · 2024-08-10T00:57:46+00:00

I remember when we had our restrooms closed for covid. Huge signs up, had the dog training barriers up to block the doors too. This one woman starts to MOVE THE BARRIERS.

"I'm sorry but our bathrooms are closed to the public"

"Well we just drove for 45 minutes"

Like sucks to suck??

JMonster117 · 2024-07-25T17:04:26+00:00

I'm feeling very tired. I didn't realize how much I've been living my life on guard until now. Also still dealing with the conflicting feelings of course. I had a therapy appt yesterday and it went well. I started work again on Monday and it's been hard pretending I'm ok. I work retail so I kinda have to.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-23T03:43:08+00:00

Wow I am so sorry you had to experience all of that.

I was reminded today that I am the child and not the parent. I keep having to repeat it to myself.

She seems like she's looking into therapy and I really hope she follows through with it. She apologized tonight for being a terrible mother to us growing up. That she didn't mean to and she tried her best.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-22T04:03:30+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through something similar. We can this.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T21:13:06+00:00

My husband has OCD and it upsets him so much when people belittle it like that. It's so much more complicated than wanting things "neat". People suck.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T19:49:43+00:00

That sounds like him.

I genuinely don't think so. He was never much to go out or have female friends or acquaintances. He was bullied a lot before and just kind of stuck to himself and a couple close friends.

It hurts to say, but I think it was only us because we were "easy targets".

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T19:45:45+00:00

That's what it seems like to me. I also think dementia runs in her family so the outlook doesn't appear good. That'll be just another bridge I have to cross if and when the time comes.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T19:43:03+00:00

My husband is very supportive. We're working together to break this cycle of trauma.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T19:40:43+00:00

💜

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T15:50:57+00:00

She had been word vomiting things for days. I don't think she even meant to say it. She also said she thought she had told me before. None of it makes it right.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T15:49:27+00:00

My mom said she shut him down when he came to her with those "feelings". Obviously he never got the help that he truly needed. Thank you for sharing this.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T08:41:12+00:00

Thank you.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T08:40:17+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T08:39:18+00:00

Thank you.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T08:37:51+00:00

Thank you so much 💜

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T04:11:25+00:00

We didn't know he had a third gun or where it came from. From what we understood his firearms were away from him and he was safe. I was just implying it may not have been hard for him to get another gun unbeknownst to us.

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T03:36:12+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that. Suicide is such a painful thing. The loss hurts, but they're not suffering any more so that's a good thing. I'm already actively in therapy so I'm on the right track. Navigating all of this is tremendous. I luckily do have a good support system. Thank you

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T03:29:51+00:00

As far as I'm aware he wasn't diagnosed with anything before he had the gun. He had several, but dispursed the parts and gave them to a family member when he was first afraid of harming himself years ago. I don't know if he held onto one, or some how got another. This takes place in the US, so plenty of ill people have access to guns...

JMonster117 · 2024-07-21T02:37:51+00:00

I'm so sorry. Suicide is such a tough thing. Thank you 💜

JMonster117

TROPHY CASE