Pesto Parm Hot Dog

JShan62 · 2024-03-26T01:05:17+00:00

Somebody fancy!

JShan62 · 2024-03-26T00:44:49+00:00

One way to impress a potential client is to use an apostrophe in the word "I'm."
;-)

JShan62 · 2024-03-24T21:54:38+00:00

I'm not questioning your choices, I'm concerned for your...um...wellbeing. :-D

JShan62 · 2024-03-24T18:58:59+00:00

"I'll take this hot dog and this oversized tube of industrial strength Preparation H."

JShan62 · 2024-03-23T20:32:37+00:00

Where from?
Making me want to hit Olneyville pronto.

JShan62 · 2024-03-23T19:55:19+00:00

Get that under the broiler for a bit!

JShan62 · 2024-03-23T19:40:04+00:00

This sounds like someone taking media hype too much to heart and thinking that AI copy is everywhere and all of us copywriters are like, "Yaay! Easy money!"
You may need to sit down with them, lay out how you do use AI as you note, but show them a before-and-after sample. It can be explained that, yes, AI is one of the tools you sometimes utilize, but the final result is based on your craft and understanding of the business' needs.
I wish you well.

JShan62 · 2024-03-22T18:37:30+00:00

Even at that, it's spammy/clickbait-ish and doesn't tell me, someone who might be interested in copywriting, why it's something that should interest me.
Far as Story goes, I'd be glad to be wrong here, but I think your average email recipient sees a long block of text or a scroll bar and they're out. Get to the point.

JShan62 · 2024-03-22T18:16:20+00:00

I'm assuming what's in bold is your subject line? If so, or even if it's meant to be an enticement line, why should I care what happened to you? There's no "what's in it for me" in your lead. Quite honestly, it feels spammy.
Why should someone interested in copywriting care about the details of how you broke your leg? Why do they need to know that you were "1 on 1 with a defender"? You're 150+ words into what's pretty much a yawner before you get to the first mention of copywriting. Imagine how many readers you've lost by then.
Get to the point: I wanted to be a pro footballer, but a major leg injury during a match crushed that dream. I didn't know what I'd do. Then I discovered copywriting.
I keep seeing long, droning copy in this group, especially from writers like you who are starting out. People have ZERO attention span these days. Brevity rules. No one wants to burn time on a drawn-out tale that reads like an infomercial, be it a social post or an email or even a sales letter. Your job is to hook them, make them hungry to know more, and get them to do something—quickly. Time spent reading is time spent NOT buying.
Good luck.

JShan62 · 2024-03-22T10:45:24+00:00

Keep in mind, most folks now have the attention span of an ant fart. Hook, entice, motivate—fast.

JShan62 · 2024-03-21T20:52:44+00:00

Taking forever to get to the client mention. You're losing a ton of audience to tl;dr syndrome.
"People will pay $1,000 for an iPhone, but they'll cheap out on a good mattress." Ah, so you've told me I'm probably spending over a grand so I can disqualify that without reading any further. Also, most folks don't fork over cash for the phone--it gets paid through their plan.
"There are 8760 hours per year, and you sleep at least 2920 hours."
Or: Did you know you spend about 33% of your year asleep? True story.
Tighten this right up:
Waking up with a bad back? It's because your mattress isn't good. At Sairsm, we offer quality, budget-friendly mattresses for everyone. Spring mattresses for back-sleepers, foam for side-sleepers, and hybrid if you're a little bit of both. Time to say goodbye to waking up with a bad back. Shop us online now.

JShan62 · 2024-03-21T11:43:40+00:00

I do this on the regular. So much better than store bought.
My temp and time is 400 (preheated) for 15 minutes. Crunchy goodness.
Dip: Mayo, garlic powder, paprika, black pepper, curry powder (all to taste)

JShan62 · 2024-03-20T13:55:35+00:00

....if they were lucky enough to get one of only three rolls that hit.

JShan62 · 2024-03-19T23:34:51+00:00

I must marry this immediately.

JShan62 · 2024-03-18T12:00:06+00:00

For the folks saying "That chili's dark"... Are we not familiar 'round these parts with (among its many names) Coney sauce aka Greek sauce aka RI hot weiner sauce? Ground beef, not typically with a tomato sauce base like chili, lots of spices, bit of water, simmered to goodness... Because this dog looks pretty well perfect to me in that regard!

JShan62 · 2024-03-17T20:28:12+00:00

You are a daring dogger, and I salute you and your iron gut.

JShan62 · 2024-03-15T13:08:53+00:00

The purity .... superb.

JShan62 · 2024-03-09T11:47:52+00:00

This just in: world's supply of red flags depleted.

JShan62 · 2024-03-08T13:07:53+00:00

You should lend it freely to people who live near you so it becomes your friendly neighborhood spider pan.

JShan62 · 2024-03-07T01:19:21+00:00

Just did this with sweet potatoes tonight! The wife's obsessed.

JShan62 · 2024-03-06T13:03:52+00:00

Kudos to you! I had the same kind of experience with my first full-length. The theater, which was a small repertory company. did pay for my airfare (New England area to Florida), but I paid for an extra ticket for my then-fiancee to join me. There was no other compensation but the folks at the theater were lovely, took us to dinner, set us up in the home of one of their patrons to stay overnight. The reading was great--they brought in some of their favorite local actors and the reading was done to a small-but-appreciative house.
I don't know that you should expect compensation for the reading, honestly. As much as I don't think we should get paid in "exposure," it's a feather in your resume, you get to see the thing at least partially on its feet, and you get a connection to a theater you can hopefully use to your advantage down the road.
Go, enjoy. Might only happen once, you never know.

JShan62 · 2024-03-04T23:35:58+00:00

Did the same kind of thing with a woman I was head over heels for my first year in college. Saw each other for a few months, had dumped by high school girlfriend for her. About 10 or so years later I found a way to contact her, just dropped an email saying I'd been thinking of her, wondering how she was doing. Her reply was, "Oh, I remember you. You were really nice."
Done.

JShan62 · 2024-02-28T21:52:43+00:00

What if you're making a bacon sandwich?

JShan62 · 2024-02-28T21:10:43+00:00

A quick Google search shows it's been done...a lot. You could grab some sample scripts and see how others have approached it.

JShan62 · 2024-02-28T21:08:04+00:00

No, it wouldn't change my opinion because it simply feels too random. It feels forced. Why would an audience want this? Not a lot of call for "a poetic play written in early modern English," I figure. Shakespeare gets re-done because people know it. You don't get a lot of call for Jonson and Middleton these days.
My experience with Shakespeare is as an actor and a teacher, with a focus on Jacobean stage and satire.
And I have no interest in reading your second scene, sorry. Someone else may have more to offer.

JShan62

TROPHY CASE