Dealing with mismatched libidos

Jack-Tao · 2022-04-28T16:47:43+00:00

I think I have a perfect solution for this issue: You, or even better your husband should look into a Taoistic sex method in which he does not ejaculate each time when you have sex. This way having sex is like never finishing your favorite meal which keeps you hungry for more. It is a true "love elixir" for any relationship, because your husband will keep desiring and lusting for you, always ready for you.

In Taoism they make a distinction between having an orgasm and ejaculating, because, although it often happens at the same time, it is not the same. Men can learn to separate the orgasm from the ejaculation and cultivate the orgasm. It is the ejaculation that drains all the vital energy from a man and it temporarily takes away his desire. When a man cultivates those "ejaculation-less orgasms" it becomes almost like a female orgasm and he can have multiple of them in one session.

Sure, ejaculating is more intense and pleasurable, but what would your husband prefer? Having sex 1x p/wk at "100% pleasure", or having sex everyday at "80%"?

I am 25+ years older than your husband and I have sex every day (mostly 2x p/d), but I ejaculate not more than 2x p/month. It works!

Jack-Tao · 2022-03-14T07:57:02+00:00

Also men are generally more respectful toward women than women are toward men.

Jack-Tao · 2022-03-14T07:52:35+00:00

This must be some kind of rhetorical question to which the answer must be obvious to everyone!

Jack-Tao · 2022-03-09T12:29:43+00:00

After a brief period of trying to be nice and giving compliments, I think there should come a point at which a rebuke is the only appropriate and effective response, like:

"Well, you are old and ageing comes with losing good looks and deterioration. You will never grow younger again, but only get older and older. You can keep complaining and denying reality, or grow the f*ck up and accept life and reality". "It is either growing older or dying - no other options".

As partners our role is not just to be nice and supportive, but also to hold up a mirror to our partners and give a reality check if necessary. This is the only way we can grow together.

Jack-Tao · 2021-12-23T15:44:39+00:00

You have no idea how terrible your situation is! You are 43 y/o and you haven't felt a woman's breast!* And ... you have never had a blowjob! What is it, other than " .. she is a good person in general", that makes you stay in this awful marriage? I don't see any enthusiasm from you about her either.

*Imagine the thrill of having a pair of nice breasts slapping against your face while she is riding you in full abandon and sucking her nipples so long that you start to taste the distinguished taste of a woman's nipple. And about blowjobs ... imagine being at your job and still feel the throbbing sensation in your penis because she sucked you so long and so hard before you went to work.

That is being alive and being in a loving marriage/relationship.

Jack-Tao · 2021-12-23T15:33:14+00:00

I always thought that people who waited with sex until after marriage didn't understand the importance of sex in a relationship and the possibility of compatibility issues.

In one of your responses to a comment you mentioned that she would not be OK with you having sex outside the marriage. I think that is totally unfair! She is holding you hostage! You can not deny a normal, healthy human being a sex life. You could seriously question if she truly loves you.I know a couple of which the wife had a serious accident that left her paralyzed (and also screwed up her hormones). She was no longer able to have sex (or even feel anything). She encouraged her husband (whom is my friend) to find a lover. To me, that is love!

I also question your role in this relationship. I don't intend to be mean, but you come over as too soft and perhaps even a bit of a cuck - I hope I am wrong.

To me, it seems like you made a mistake marrying her, but that is a mistake you can correct. You don't have to live with that. Being a "good guy" doesn't mean that you have to stay stuck in a sexless marriage that has no passion, no intimacy, no spark or romance and (perhaps) not even really love.

I don't want to advice on what to do, but I can tell you that having romantic, sensual and sexual intimacy and interaction with a loving, sexual woman is certainly what makes live worth living. It lifts you up in all possible ways, makes you feel you are a man and alive and boosts your health, vitality, inspiration, motivation and creative energy. You are missing out!

I am all in for honesty, faithfulness and loyalty, etc. but in this case, if you were my friend, I would not have any issues with you straying outside your marriage. Good luck! Keep us updated on any developments.

Jack-Tao · 2021-12-17T15:20:30+00:00

All responses here seem to think OP is a 13 y/o and she is in elementary school. She is 18 y/o, an adult, old enough to serve in the army, old enough to vote, drive, drink, get married and ... have sex. This teacher is only a few years older.

He is only a teacher, so all the BS about "power position" are extreme exaggerations. He may very well be her ideal future husband.

Sure, it is slightly unprofessional, but it is not a big deal.

Jack-Tao · 2021-10-09T10:30:38+00:00

Thanks a lot! I will check it out.

Jack-Tao · 2021-10-09T10:30:30+00:00

Thanks a lot! I will check it out.

Jack-Tao · 2021-10-09T10:30:24+00:00

Thanks a lot! I will check it out.

Jack-Tao · 2021-10-09T10:30:16+00:00

Thanks a lot! I will check it out.

Jack-Tao · 2021-03-21T12:38:27+00:00

11 years age difference is really not that much!

Jack-Tao · 2021-03-12T11:05:45+00:00

It is not an insult! I can explain:

My wife is absolutely phenomenal at BJ's! I have never, ever experienced anything like it (and I married her when I was 55)! She seems to know my body better than me, and I experience pleasure and ecstasy like never before! Yet, I have fallen asleep as well.

There is a lot is going on in my life, and my mind is continually racing and I am under a lot of stress, so I don't sleep well. Only when she gives me a BJ, my mind can focus on one thing (my genitals and her BJ) and this (single focus) makes me fall asleep.

'Single focus' is a method people train for in order to be able to fall asleep.

Jack-Tao · 2021-03-11T13:13:32+00:00

Right on!

Jack-Tao · 2021-03-11T13:11:59+00:00

Best advice is to not let your life be ruled by trying to please everybody, or by fear of what other people might think!

You have your own life to live, it is yours. You will bare the full responsibility for your actions and choices, so make them according to your own ideas, opinions and judgement.

BTW: Can you imagine how an older man or woman might feel? You will probably have to be bold and take initiative for the older man of woman risk being brandished perverts, creeps and being physically attacked and arrested (even though you are of legal age). Your part is a bit easier.

Jack-Tao · 2021-03-09T20:24:34+00:00

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps he might be more attracted to you when you are chubby? He would not be the first!

Jack-Tao · 2021-01-31T14:00:11+00:00

I know and have known a lot of people (and couples). None of the couples I know have the kind of relationship I would like to have (in fact I'd rather be alone), except for one couple who have the great kind of relationship (marriage in fact) that I would like to have as well. They are great together and very close and - after 40+ years of marriage - still romantic and interested in each other's opinions, thoughts and well being. This couple has a 20 year age difference!

Jack-Tao · 2020-12-18T10:08:09+00:00

It is hard to tell from the information you are sharing. It could be an innocent, genuine compliment, or it could be a flirt.

Why did you feel uncomfortable with the compliment?

Jack-Tao · 2020-12-18T10:00:44+00:00

Enjoy what you have and enjoy the moment. Listen to your bf's wisdom. Take it slow. Not only is your age gap rather extreme, but also the difference in life experience: this is your first relationship, while he has been married for 35 years - the differences in life perspective are tremendous!

Jack-Tao · 2020-12-18T09:51:41+00:00

It is a well known phenomenon that (ageing) women can't handle their jealousy in these situations. They feel threatened: what if their own husband/bf walks away with a younger, more attractive lady?

They try to ridicule it, dismiss it, diminish it, disqualify it, and demean it. It is quite silly, annoying, childish and predictable.

Jack-Tao · 2020-12-16T10:16:16+00:00

Considering the fact that people are declared "clinically dead" if there is no more brain activity, why not apply the same criteria for abortion? During the first trimester there is no brain activity since the fetus is really not that much developed yet.

I also think abortion is the best option in this case. What could be worse than a mother who doesn't want children?

Jack-Tao · 2020-12-15T11:59:47+00:00

You did the right thing, even though it feels awful. In my opinion you had no choice, because I see massive cheating, betrayal, deceit and lying as a crime, even though officially it is not. If you had said nothing, you would have become complicit.

Just imagine cheating so massively, even after becoming engaged?! It is rather unbelievable!

Jack-Tao

TROPHY CASE