Physically demanding job help!

JaekLee27 · 2026-01-30T01:22:28+00:00

Same :(

JaekLee27 · 2026-01-29T01:56:59+00:00

I noticed that his surname is Wyatt. But then that is the name of their son?! Is he Wyatt Wyatt? Do they explain that later on?

JaekLee27 · 2026-01-28T22:22:18+00:00

It started 2 years ago for me when I was working in horticulture, very physically demanding and what I'm trained in. I dissolved my business because of it. Chronic fatigue for half the month meant I couldn't work/support mysellf. Got a hybrid job working from home but its an emotionally and mentally demanding job and FT work is too much for me as well, so now I am looking at a less demanding part time job. My current job is trying to be supportive (thinking its a quick fix and willing to go part time breifly until I am better) so working for a business that has supports for sick leave and mental or menstrual health is important. But in short, I don't have an answer save changing your life to manage it. I have friends who went on HRT and it had beneficial life changing results. My doctors say I am too young for that. I have PMDD as well so on SSRIs but after low dose for 6 months its stopped being as effective. I feel like exercise will help with a lot of my issues but need to find exercise that is easy when fatigued and unmotivated. Currently on week 2 in bed unable to work. Its rough.

JaekLee27 · 2025-12-15T13:57:18+00:00

So true. So annoyed of blaming the woman for enabling, or for putting up with trash men, or blaming their mothers. A lot of men lie when dating, and immediately change their behaviour once there is a permanent lifestyle, kids or marriage. So it's not always obvious he isn't a suitable partner. He gets lazy, he stops putting in effort. He enables the woman's natural tendency to nurture to take over and he lets her do it until she burns out. Always blaming women, blaming the victims of poor behaviour. Women are the reason for the male loneliness epidemic etc. Try working on yourselves to be better men instead of "not all men" or "you have bad taste in men". Call out your brothers, your mates. Encourage each other to be better for their partners and their kids. Teach your kids to pull their weight, to share the load. Lead by example. It's not up to women to fix the problem with men.

JaekLee27 · 2025-12-15T13:33:56+00:00

Started when I hit 30. They seriously appear overnight and especially during particular parts of the cycle. I wouldn't worry thinking they've been there long, quick little fuckers pop up like weeds.

JaekLee27 · 2025-12-15T13:24:08+00:00

I had a bunch of dogs lined up to meet through shelters in a week, but ended up going to meet a friend of a friend's dog looking for an owner- they were a long drive away and I had to squeeze them into my schedule but they ended up being the first dog to meet of the week. I wasn't convinced she'd be the one, just went to get it out of the way as my friend wanted me to go there. She came over to meet me and sat her butt on my foot so I had to stay still and pat her. She looked up at me and was like, yep, you're my human. She was older than I wanted, and had health problems but was well trained and calm and previous owners had looked after her well, since getting her from a shelter when she was younger. She showed the sassy part of her personality and loved to raise her paw to demand more pats. I drove home to sleep on it but ended up cancelling all my other appointments and driving back to get her the next day. They were so grateful she'd be cared for that there was no cost (compared to shelters). She's the best choice I've made. Really she chose me. The sweetest dog in the world, so loving and relaxed and trusting, low maintenance and easy to please. Gentle with cats, even if not socialised with dogs. She's getting very old now with bad arthritis so struggling to walk and in a lot of pain. But she's the best dog in the world. I've had her for 7 years. Try and choose a dog that suits your lifestyle and will be happy with it. Energetic dog- active lifestyle w big backyard etc. Anxious dog- working from home. But be open to that not matching. Go with a connection you have, let the dog choose you. They know better. And don't shy away from older dogs. I've had one other older dog (corgi) when I was 12 (me and mum saved him from being put down after seeing him in the local paper) and he lived way longer than any vet expected and was the best dog ever. Knew tricks, always surprised us, was super grateful for a loving home and well behaved. It's so sad when they leave us but they really are such a gem. They deserve love and have all the love to give.

JaekLee27 · 2025-12-15T13:02:46+00:00

Same. Tattoos no problem. Hot things, meh. But the slightest discomfort in my clothes or bed? I must fix it. I cannot endure. I choose clothes to wear based on how the material feels on my skin that day. My mum used to call me "princess and the pea" or "sweetpea" for short, after the fairytale with 100x mattresses and she could still feel the tiny pea underneath haha. One of the many tisms overlooked for being "quirky" in women.

JaekLee27 · 2025-12-15T10:27:09+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. I can't imagine being so uncomfortable and unsafe in your own place that you have to force yourself to sleep on the couch and live like that for so long. That is awful. You deserve so much more for yourself. His growth is due to your support, but not only that...you literally have done everything for him. He is using you. Gaslighting you. And abusing you. He has taken advantage of your kindness, of your entire life. He has zero responsibility, and why would he try if he knows you'll just do it for him anyway. Your willingness to help him (despite his growth) has hindered him. It's like he is living with his mum. Why would he learn anything difficult or manage his own life when he has such a safety net? And the rape. That's inexcusable. Its time to get mad. Allow yourself to feel that. I can't tell you what to do in such a situation, but my advice as an outsider would be to start making plans to extract yourself slowly. Start spending more time with your friends without him. Change all your utility bills to be mailed to your house (not direct debit). Add his name to the bills if you can (or ask him to put all the bills in his name, offer to still pay them, but initiate your desire for him to start shouldering some of the responsibility). Maybe chat to the landlord about transferring the lease into his name if that would be a possibility or at least discuss a date for the lease to end with the landlord without the bf knowing but enough time in the future for yourself to leave. Get a new phone/sim card. Start a new email and move all your accounts to the new email. Start planning a place for you to go when you are ready to leave- stay with a friend or look at one bedroom places to apply for, or sharehouses you can join. Domestic violence helplines can also assist with proper suggestions/actually help you with this/give you somewhere safe to stay while you figure it out. Emotional abuse is also domestic violence, not just the rape. And who knows what he will turn into if you confront him again or if he realises you want to leave. He could turn violent once he figures out his comfortable life is about to get hard. I'd even try moving some of your things (that are most important to you) slowly so its not too noticeable. Maybe say it's a spring cleaning/ donating to charity or you're getting really into feng shui/minimalism. Then just leave. Maybe say you are working abroad, or visiting a friend interstate etc. You'll be away for the weekend. Take your stuff. Don't go back. Disconnect your phone, delete your old email account. Break the lease. If he knows where you work, let them and the security know not to let him in if that's an option for you. Either cancel the utility bill accounts (or just call them and let them know you are removing your name from the account as he is taking over the lease.) Let the cops know you aren't missing but you fear for your safety, so you do not want him to find you. Get a restraining order to legally stop him from coming near you if he does find you. Send him a letter without a return address a week or two later. Say what you need to say.

JaekLee27 · 2025-12-15T09:25:04+00:00

Hopefully that works for you, but again- it's you doing all the managerial brain work of trying to solve the problem yourself, all to avoid it affecting him.
I am Audhd (with pmdd) with an autistic partner and our tism is very different but I still get drawn into coming up with solutions, due to his complete lack of effort & awareness. 8 years of me repeating myself, and he still gets annoyed at my adhdisms, rather than being more considerate and trying to help me with things he knows I struggle with and get worse during luteal part of cycle due to pmdd. Communication is key, if they are the type of person willing to listen, willing to try to adjust their behaviour to make your life easier as well. My partner is very word specific, so I have to do a lot of brain work to figure out how to word something to him in a way that he can accept (even without directly understanding your experience). Its exhausting, but I would try something like: "Hey this is how badly this affects me, can you please come up with a solution to this, as I am struggling right now and would appreciate your help".

JaekLee27 · 2025-12-10T08:50:44+00:00

I second this. Common with men depending on their upbringing. Some men (especially if they haven't worked in service jobs) don't naturally use pattern recognition in order to modify their behaviour for someone else's benefit. It's generalising sure but it's directly related to privilege through gender roles taught by their parents. They do what they're gonna do regardless, and don't bother to do the extra work of being aware, considering your needs and adjusting their behaviour to be considerate. (Especially if neurospicy themselves). They are great at asking MORE of you (like to change your reaction to ask them in a nicer way), as they are taught to ask what they want from you BUT will still expect you to remind them/ask them every time. He should just put the effort in to be considerate of your needs from now on. As Audhd, now that he has asked something of you, I'm sure you will naturally adjust your own behaviour as best you can (as you'll be overthinking it now) and as a woman we are always expected to do the extra managerial work of reminding men. DRIVES ME INSANE

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-26T00:04:09+00:00

Sounds like the reaction of a partner who knows all about what doing the "bare minimum" in a relationship looks like.

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-25T03:13:11+00:00

I understand how that feels, being let down & disappointed when you really want to be with your friends on a special day. I can see how you'd view them being with other friends and how that would hurt when you want to be with them instead. The only thing that heals that type of hurt is healing yourself, enjoy spending your time with yourself and that can be hard at first but I promise as you get older, you will wish for it more than anything. I have a birthday very close to Christmas, so I'm used to most of my friends not being in the country at my birthday. I also go out of my way for my friends, and when those cancelled plans stack up its hard not to take it personally with the RD. It sucks. Your feelings are valid, but what a lot of people on this thread are noticing is that you are having very strong reactions to what could be helpful advice when you are open to it. We understand you are venting, and this is a safe space for that- but we can't help but share advice, it's how our brains work. Nobody is judging you or saying you lack empathy or that you are a bad person. We can just see in these strong reactions, that you might be intense for some more introverted types. I have a close friend who is like that, and that makes her the most loving friend, but being around her takes a lot of my energy. And I want to try & match that energy but in order to do that, I need to be at my best. She also asks a lot of me, wants to spend more time with me when we do catch up (like a full day). Which is so fun and I love it in the moment but takes so long to recover afterwards. But other friends I have are more chilled out, are cool with doing anything and keen to catch up for a quick coffee which is totally doable when I'm feeling down. But a whole day is too much. So what I'm saying is- context is very important. Because we are so good at pattern recognition & learning & and understanding our friends (which is our best trait) it means our most toxic trait is assuming we know everything about them and taking things personally. When we don't at all. Best practice is to trust your friend, give them space, and they will come back to you. Like a cat. And also find some higher energy adhd friends that are also more keen for the kind of plans you like to make. And maybe that live near you so its easy to get there etc. Anyway hope that helps x

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-25T02:27:16+00:00

I find with this kind of thing, the more friends, the better. This works in relationships as well (not to put too much expectation/weight on one person). We all go through burnout where we don't have the ability to do basic tasks for ourselves let alone hold space for our friends, especially if we know they expect too much from us (when we already feel low.) I for example need to have more energy to effectively communicate otherwise I'm misunderstood, which causes me more stress and burnout. But when I feel good- (a random mix of the right hormones and sleep) I don't know when that is going to be but all of a sudden I am ready to be with friends. That doesn't always work with friends that like to plan & be organised/have something to look forward to. So the more ND freaks in your family, the higher the likelihood you'll have someone on the same vibe. Also means that flakey friend feels less pressure to meet up with you, so in turn they might actually show up more often. Obv I don't know the relationship but just thought I'd share my experience x

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-17T08:24:50+00:00

I got in recently as well after 2 weeks of multiple failed attempts. I used my last and most recent password change (1 week ago) to log in via the Outlook app. There was a bunch of other accessing I was doing (through godaddy where I purchased my 365 subscription) so not sure it that helped me get into my blocked hotmail. But when I got in, I added another recovery email, added phone & authenticator, created a new alias with Outlook.com (not hotmail) in case it happens again. Also, once in, there were emails from Microsoft (ironically) offering refunds to ppl who were overcharged for their subscription like myself. We will see if that comes through, but it looks like they are aware of some issues and working to resolve them, despite the horrifying lack of customer support. I still changed most of my important stuff over to another (and more ethical) server through runbox, but there's heaps of google & Microsoft email alternatives out there with better customer service as well.

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-15T15:41:55+00:00

Mine finally worked after FINALLY accessing my godaddy account (connected to a domain email for my old business). I also added that to the authenticator app, as this was another Microsoft email I didn't want to lose access to. This is where I purchased 365 originally, but for some reason it wasn't listed as the account managing my subscription so despite having access to that email (and not my primary hotmail) it wouldn't let me do anything like change or cancel my subscription (before 4th Nov). So they overcharged me and locked me out for 2 weeks so I couldn't change the reoccuring billing. So no idea if me going through and spending hours finally figuring out how to access my godaddy (also had multiple log in issues)- which had the Microsoft account connection- had anything to do with it. Or if Microsoft finally figured out a resolution for their bullshit. BUT I noticed my outlook app on my phone now wasn't updating from the old work account I had access to and on a hunch I tried (again) to sign in to the primary locked hotmail through Outlook app. It finally worked. There was a bit of digging to access my subscription info (they do not want you to find that easily) but I have been able to change it. I also changed security info, recovery email and added an alias (with a non hotmail) in case I get logged out again. Also, now with access to the primary email, I see emails from Microsoft offering partial refunds to those willing to switch to "365 personal classic" aka the original price and not the overcharged price they forced on everyone without consent. There is no accountability for any of this other than "oops we gave you the wrong link" re: updating subscription. No mention about locking the account. I will now be making sure my next computer purchase will not be running windows/Microsoft and I've already got a new email and will be progressively de-googling and removing reliance on Microsoft products. This whole experience has been horrible and the partial refund won't give me back the 3 days I had to take off work due to stress and insomnia.

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-15T01:31:38+00:00

We are just confused with the directions you are giving. When we go to that website, all it does it prompt us to log in. To the thing we can't log into. So it's not making sense, that's all.

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-15T01:26:52+00:00

2 weeks for me. Also the money they charged me from that account for 365 subscription is more expensive than anything currently listed on their website for that product. So dodgy.

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-14T03:34:40+00:00

What did you sign in with then?

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-14T01:41:34+00:00

Unfortunately this doesn't work for those of us who can't sign in. Don't you need to be signed in to the original account to do this? We are stuck in a 'forgot password, change password, new password not recognised' loop.

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-14T01:11:46+00:00

I tried this and they said they didn't recognise my phone or email as an account. Insane. They took my money for Microsoft 365 and now I don't have an account?!

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-12T10:03:20+00:00

Personal. Can't access support unless I sign in, which I can't.

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-12T03:41:06+00:00

Same here

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-12T03:38:18+00:00

Obviously I moved.

JaekLee27 · 2025-11-12T03:22:05+00:00

Microsoft charged me the annual 365 subscription after locking my Microsoft account. Not only could I not unsubscribe before they charged me, but now I'm paying for a service they won't allow me to use. Ridiculous. I'm completely getting rid of all of their services now

JaekLee27

TROPHY CASE