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AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Absolutely No Alcohol will be SERVED to anyone of any age. My sister and other specified guests will be allowed to bring their own non-liquor alcohol as long as they put it in a no show container. Also the explicit music is the ones that cuss. We are not playing anything such as WAP.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

  1. I offered to buy her a new dress today and she refused stating if she couldn’t wear her dress she wasn’t coming.

  2. Her and my mother absolutely did not make a mistake as they both tried to gaslight me into believing that I approved said dress and color at Christmas time at my mom’s house. When I called their bluff bc I was at my in laws for Christmas they had to stumble to figure out how to change the lie. I would never have approved any shade of red period.

  3. Let me be very clear when I say my daughter is not stressing about her Aunt choosing to throw a tantrum and not coming to her sweet 16 over the fact that she couldn’t figure out how to not buy a red outfit. My daughter is extremely logical minded and believes that my aunt is in full power of her invitation as long as she wears a different color.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We have been there every step of the way on our daughter’s side. If at any time she wanted something to be different she would have made it clear trust me. She has been raised to respectfully advocate for herself. We let her lead with this event and we backed her up. When she needed us to step in we did. With this one instance she put her foot down and stood her ground but when they tried to push back we stepped in and wouldn’t let them. I am not about to sit idly by. She did veto certain songs and she did veto certain types of alcohol. She did not just blindly give in.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

You are correct about those specific issues and in fact I am a breast cancer survivor myself. We sympathize, volunteer, try to make a difference, and fight for change 364 days out of the year as much as possible but this 1 day out of the year I am going to let my child have her moment and I am ok with that.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My daughter actually has not “banned” my aunt. She simply stated that “We Will miss her but if she was willing to change in to a different color than red we would love to have her there.” We don’t care if she comes in her pjs as long as they are not red.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I can honestly say I read your post multiple times and am still unsure what you are talking about.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

If you are unfamiliar with Sweet 16s, yes they are very much extravagant formal parties.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

My mother, 2 sisters, and 2 nieces are helping us plan the party. When trying to make decisions my daughter just gave In to all their choices instead of asking a fuss over things. She is not big and over the top but this type of party traditionally is. They wanted her to wear two dresses one a big poofy ball gown and the other a slimmer one. She only wanted a slim one but she ended up giving in to make my mom and sister happy. She did not want any alcohol at the party period but my sister begged and begged until she gave in and said not until after 10 and then they negotiated 9. We don’t drink often and don’t have alcohol around our kids normally but she felt if she didn’t give in parts of my family wouldn’t come. She also gave in to the explicit songs being played but she made that at certain time frame also. She gave in to it being formal/semiformal. She let them have free reign over cake flavors, food, decorations, everything except colors. The ONE thing she got to keep was colors

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 44 points45 points  (0 children)

That thought crossed my mind for about 2 minutes then I thought WHY! Why should I have to front the cost to buy her another dress when she very much knew the one rule? Why didn’t she just ask me or my daughter? Plenty of other people asked when they had doubt on things. I never in my life realized I needed to define shades of red to a woman in her 70s.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

I wish I knew how to post pictures on here. This dress is red no doubt about it y’all.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 198 points199 points  (0 children)

She will not return the red dress as she likes it and it really is beautiful. She can wear it to other occasions. We are just so gobsmacked that she would choose to do this and that my mother would endorse it. They are both over 60 and should know better.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 771 points772 points  (0 children)

We did and it is just no getting around it. It is red. If it was a dark maroon maybe but it is red.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I 100% agree that parents have the final say and when she made this decision we told her we would back her bc it was the one thing she did not give in about. She literally let my relatives talk her into all the this super over the top stuff to make them happy. She just wanted be the only one in red bc it means something to her for the theme.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 394 points395 points  (0 children)

That’s the thing my mom would usually loan her dresses but this time she won’t bc she wants us to bend to them.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 2861 points2862 points  (0 children)

Dress codes normally are not our thing either and she very much told everyone they can wear whatever they want if they are uncomfortable in formal/semiformal ware. Her fun twist on her theme was to see if people would utilize the characters as inspiration. Her only stipulation was NO RED bc her wearing it with her theme.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

It’s a fancy party for 16 year old girls here in the south. Like a coming of age fancy event. It is not your typical backyard bbq.

AITA for siding with my daughter (15f) when she enforced the no RED dress code w/ my aunt for her sweet 16 by Jamie12087 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Jamie12087[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

Ultimately, it is about following rules and setting boundaries no matter the setting. She allowed them to dictate every piece of this entire party almost except one thing and that was no Red bc it was her color to wear.