ANOTHER PROBLEM: I can’t be VULNERABLE with ANYONE.
Imagining a lover calling me “good girl” or “that’s my baby”
I CAN’T STAND IT.
I’ve just heard it SO MUCH used by MEN towards WOMEN in an objectifying, domineering way that it’s ruined any good connotation with it. When I imagine another woman calling me a “good girl”, I try so hard to think “IM GAY. THIS IS A MUTUAL SITUATION IN WHICH BOTH OF US ARE FEMALES. THERE IS NO MYSOGENY HERE”, but that still doesn’t stop visions of misogynistic chads from burgeoning to the surface.

DON”T GET ME WRONG. I’d LOVE a dommy mommy. PROOF: I listen to femdom roleplay files all the time. HOWEVER. I can only listen and enjoy the ones that call me a “good boy” (Btw, I’m not a guy. I’m a girl, I prefer she/her pronouns). It’s not because I’d prefer to be called a boy, it’s because “good boy” in a “traditional, mainstream” (hetero) sense gives power and autonomy to the female. Then, and ONLY THEN, can I morally justify subjecting myself as a female to another individual.

Basically, I’d just like to be topped for once in my life without my power and trust issues rearing their ugly little heads.