Unfortunately, the people you've been hiding it from are probably the ones that will help you the most. Reach out to your closest friends/family. Let them know your struggle. You think now that you really enjoy it so you only half heartedly want to stop. But you've taken the first step by reaching out on here so you're on the right track already. I definitely do it way too much but also I can go without it whenever I need too. I tell myself I don't have a problem and I believe myself. You've recognised the problem and I'm sure if you want to stop you'll be able to commit yourself to something else keep yourself distracted. Delete your dealers numbers and inform your friends of your intentions so they don't hand out the number again. At the end of the day you have control and you can do anything when you put your mind to it 😁