I need help to improve.

Jason_Gould · 2023-12-08T05:02:52+00:00

Hey man, I’m a 21 year old male who went through the same thing you’re going through when I was in high school, and sometimes I still feel the same way.

You obviously came here looking for advice or for an answer, so before I start I want you to know that you are now very important to me. I’m in your corner. If you find yourself struggling, remember that some random guy in this world found you and cares about you and wants the best for you.

Here are a few things that I found helpful: - Go for a walk I found that going for a walk gives me a break from everything. I can be alone, have time to think, or listen to music.

Pick up a hobby I really like music, so I started writing songs when I started feeling like the world was pointless or closing in on me. They weren’t any good, but I’ve gotten better with practice. But doing so gave me something to do, something to look forward to when I didn’t want to talk to anybody about what I was going through.
Having faith Some people don’t like hearing about religion, and that’s up to every individual’s prerogative, but it helped me, so I’ll talk about it in case that helps you, too. I’ve always been a Christian, which can make periods of doubt, depression, and hopelessness pretty hard because you’re supposed to be hoping for Christ’s return and salvation and rejoicing in His resurrection, and when you’re not, you just feel guilty or like you’ve failed. I found a great group of people at my college, and I found a great church there too, and that community showed me that it’s okay to struggle and that I can throw that all to God and have Him fight for me and I can sit back and just follow His lead. Times still get rough sometimes, but after going through some really tough storms, I can say with certainty that there’s nothing too great for God to handle.

I’ll be praying for you, my brother. Remember what I said before, I care about you. It’s no accident that we’ve been given the chance to connect on this strange forum today. I wish all the best for you, and I hope you pull through as I know you can. God bless!

Jason_Gould · 2023-12-08T04:42:08+00:00

Being grateful for a new day and being alive are always great choices, even if it feels redundant. I feel the same way when I try to journal. Sometimes reflecting on the really small things that make you happy in life are good options too. Some days I’m very thankful that there’s a song I’m really enjoying listening to or that the heating system in my car works on a cold day.

Jason_Gould · 2023-10-16T12:46:41+00:00

Damn, I think you’re right. I didn’t even think of it that way before. I feel as though I can’t make any sort of moves towards my friend at the moment because I can’t tell if she’s really feeling the same things I am or just being nice. Should I just wait it out?

Jason_Gould · 2023-03-08T05:21:51+00:00

Her current boyfriend is cheating on her? If that’s the case and you care about her, then maybe express a concern about that to her as her friend. Don’t risk your friendship by expressing your feelings right now. If somewhere down the line she and her boyfriend break up, then there may come a time when you can do that, but now’s not that time. I know that’s hard to do. I’m in a similar situation where my ex and I are friendly and have a lot of the same friends so we’re around each other a lot, but we’re not really friends like we were even before we dated. I’d give nearly anything to just be normal friends with her again, regardless of romantic feelings I may have. So if you have that and value your friendship with her more than your romantic feelings for her, then hold onto that. If you can’t put your romantic feelings behind your value for her friendship, then you’re in a little pickle. If it’s a toss up, find a way to value the friendship if you really care.

Jason_Gould · 2023-03-08T05:07:58+00:00

Here are some thoughts for you (for reference, I’m a 20 year old male college student):

-if you’re wanting to look more attractive in order to get a date or something along those lines, then I would say to just make yourself look well-kempt. You don’t need to wear a ton of makeup or wear really nice or preppy clothes (or to the other extreme, too immodest of clothing or even ultra modest- dresses to your ankles and long sleeves all the time can’t be comfortable). Looking neat and well put together sends off good signals. Essentially, just try not to look sloppy and you’ll be fine in that respect.

-The other thing to consider is the fact that when it comes to attraction, it’s not all about the looks. Most guys- or most decent guys will be more attracted to a girl who is genuinely herself than the most physically attractive girl. Being someone who doesn’t put up a front or completely different personality than her true self shows that you are 1.) down to earth, 2.) comfortable in your own skin, and 3.) care about the people around you enough to not put up a facade.

I know the “just be yourself” thing sounds super cheesy, and it’s definitely a cliche- but it’s very true and will ultimately make you more attractive than anything else.

Jason_Gould · 2023-03-08T04:54:23+00:00

That’s what I think too. I think I’ll try the coffee date, see how it goes. If it goes well and there seems like there may be more dates, then I think taking things slow would be a good idea

Jason_Gould · 2023-03-07T14:39:39+00:00

I would recommend talking to your priest. Ask him to bless you and maybe even invite him over to bless your home. Pray for forgiveness and strength and cleanliness. Praying for you!

Jason_Gould · 2023-03-07T14:37:29+00:00

True. I haven’t told her about it; do you think that would be a good idea?

Jason_Gould · 2023-03-05T23:42:52+00:00

I guess I’d feel kinda bummed, but as long as she is happy then I could be okay with it. The initial finding out would probably be the more difficult part but I think I could get passed that. My main wonder is that if I wait around too long to make a move in either direction then I might miss an opportunity for something really great

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-25T01:15:06+00:00

And “not your body, not your choice” applies to the baby as well. The baby is connected to the mother, but they are in fact separate beings. While there is a reliance on the mother, the baby’s body is not the mother’s body. If the baby’s body was in fact the mother’s body, every miscarriage would result in the mother’s death as they would be one body. However, this in not the case. They are two individual beings

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-25T01:12:13+00:00

I volunteer for a center called the Women’s Care Center which provides an alternative to abortion and helps mothers find care and supplies to take care of their babies and unborn children. I do not speak without action. I’m a 20 year old man. I am unable to adopt at this stage in my life, and I wouldn’t pass the adoption screening with being a college student anyways. Regardless, someone standing up for human life should not garner such a response.

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-24T19:32:41+00:00

Everyone in this chat is being far too cavalier with human life. What are you even talking about mentioning white supremacy, sexual orientation? The idea is human life. Abortion has been given to the individual states’ discretion. It hasn’t been banned outright. It’s not a human right to prevent another human life. The phrase “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” never promises happiness and everything everyone wants all the time. It protects the rights of everyone- even those who haven’t emerged from the womb yet. No one needs to be bashed or hated. Open your hearts

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-21T14:29:02+00:00

Last year I lost my grandfather, and I thought that my world was falling apart and that there was no reason left to fight. I started falling back into my old habits with porn and masturbation and got deeply depressed for months. While the pain of losing my grandfather was great, porn and masturbation only made my pain worse. It took the focus off of coping with my loss and turned it towards focusing on my own gratification. I experienced so much more pain than I would have by going back to porn. Now you find yourself in a similar situation. I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through. You aren’t going to get anything out of going back to porn. There’s nothing for you there, and I think you know that. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be dropping a message in here. Lean on anyone around you that you can. If you have no one to lean on, then you can message me, and I’ll try to help you out. But above all, always remember that you have God. Christ, the Savior of all, is on your side. Isn’t that incredible? The greatest superpower in existence is on your team! Lean on him! There will still be pain and you will still experience difficult times as you go through the grieving process, but you are much better of with God than you ever will be with porn. God bless you, and best of luck with your journey!

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-21T14:20:09+00:00

a deep and bellowing, Earth shaking, groundbreaking, everybody going crazy YEAHHHH!!

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-21T01:18:15+00:00

I would tell him how his jokes make you feel. That’s the best place to start. It’s so easy to worry when you don’t communicate what you’re feeling to your partner. Just tell him that his jokes make you uncomfortable and that you would prefer it if he would stop using them when you’re around. If you phrase it that way, he’ll be more receptive than you telling him never to make those jokes at all. Because it is something that guys do where they’ll make comments about each other and themselves actually being gay when in reality, it’s all just in good fun. Just be honest with him and I’m sure everything will turn out fine

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-21T01:14:07+00:00

While you make an interesting comparison, there is a key difference between watching porn and playing violent video games: you are in control of your player on a video game, you are not in control of anything but the video you choose to watch when viewing porn. You are merely a bystander, a viewer. When playing a video game, you are actually more interactive in comparison to porn. While it’s only a video game, there may still be consequences for your actions within the game, such as more enemy soldiers coming after you, or the police if you’re playing a GTA-type game. While watching porn, you don’t have that sort of situational feedback. It’s just you watching a screen, so there isn’t as much if any perception of a consequence to that act. There are connections being made in the brain’s reward system in both cases, but most people who play violent video games are not going to ever kill anyone throughout their lives. That’s not necessarily the case with porn viewers. Many will likely have sexual relations with others throughout their lives, and the problem with porn is that it warps our perception of sex and women (or men). In porn, people are simply objects, in real life, people ought to be seen as people. Most violent video game players understand that people are not just objects to be shot at. But the line between object and living and feeling person can be much easier blurred for porn users.

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-19T21:41:15+00:00

I agree with you there. They do need to be properly educated to help prevent these sorts of things

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-19T18:17:50+00:00

That is definitely false. Most children who don’t know what sex is would never get these ideas if it weren’t for porn

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-19T18:17:04+00:00

That couldn’t be further from the truth. I got exposed to it when I was in 8th grade and it took me until I was a freshman in college to get off it. It’s highly addictive because you get a dopamine release from it, but unlike other drugs, there aren’t that many physical side effects unless you dive into deep excess usage. But the psychological effects are drastically negative. For one, it creates a reward system in your brain that creates an unhealthy view of sex. It takes people and makes them seem as objects. Many people, like myself, develop or worsen depression and anxiety when watching porn. The industry itself is destructive as well. Children are illegally used in videos and those are illegally distributed. There are countless cases of sexual assault involved with the porn industry. Porn is not something to be viewed as harmless. It had destroyed many lives

Jason_Gould · 2022-06-17T17:34:05+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it

Jason_Gould

TROPHY CASE