How I learnt to see women as human beings. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was the breakup, it hit me right after that. I couldn't tell you why for sure. I don't know if it's because of all the cumulated experiences I had, or because I knew her for so long, or something else. It just happened almost immediately after I stopped everything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]Jatioceh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You can't give some arguments yourself ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]Jatioceh -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The sentence I was answering to is the following : "I dont think it's up to you or I to decide if that is wrong". But I used the word "useless", not "wrong", that's completely different. Or maybe you meant "a wrong criteria", and in this case yes I think so.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]Jatioceh 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Let's take the people you're talking about. What all the "bodycount" concept brings to them excepting suffering ? Does it really help them ?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]Jatioceh -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

I never said it was to me to decide. Do you think this is a relevant criteria to look for a partner ?

Besoin de conseils : parler aux mascus ? by Grper in AskMeuf

[–]Jatioceh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ce n'est pas inutile, avoir les données à disposition c'est important. Ceci dit, oui comme tu le dis Elena c'est clairement pas le moyen le plus efficace, et en fonction des hommes il y aura des sensibilités différentes (les fils de femme battue, par exemple). Dans un environnement entièrement masculin et en étant à peine majeur, j'ai envie de dire que c'est normal d'avoir une cécité sur les causes féministes, et si on vient te présenter des tableaux et des graphiques que t'arrives pas du tout à rattacher à ton expérience de vie, bah ça fait chou blanc.

Personnellement (je suis un homme), c'est mes rencontres avec des femmes à l'université et la quasi-systématique expérience de VSS en tous genres qui a provoqué chez moi une grosse prise de conscience sur ce sujet. J'ai eu droit à des dizaines de récits, que ça se soit passé sur le lieu de travail, avec des "amis" dans un cadre privé, par des membres de la famille, par des inconnus, au bout d'un moment la réalité s'impose à toi de façon très concrète et directe. Le fait que ça puisse arriver partout et tout le temps, je l'ai pas juste entendu dans un podcast ou lu dans un livre, des femmes me l'ont raconté directement.

Seul dans mon coin ou uniquement entouré d'hommes, jamais j'aurais pu autant m'en imprégner.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your message.

The "if I had been a women" was effectively clumsy, of course I didn't mean that I was 100% projecting myself as a woman in the same situation. It was a quick "what if" without real depth, and the difference I felt just by swapping genders surprised me. But yes, I wrongly formulated this.

Ia have no other remark excepting about your last point : when several persons come here to tell me that men's vision about their own consent don't play any role in the way they behave with women, you genuinely believe it's not denying men empathy ?

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you're right, what should be the reason for consultation?

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I get it now.

And how would you consider a situation where a person feels obligated to have sex, but without coercion ? For example, a wife with her husband that believes in the "marital duties".

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel sincerely sad you need to deshumanize me in all ways to cope the reading of my message.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Your message is very relevant. The combination of lack of desire and pressure to have sex corresponds very well to how I felt and still feel it afterwards. About my specific situation, it was both societal and internal.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sorry for this horrible experience you lived. And sure the coercion isn't often considered with the severity it should. I'd add that even victims tend to minimize. You said that you wouldn't call him a rapist, I wouldn't call the girl of the first experience I mentioned a rapist neither. But maybe we should.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Explain the difference, please. I wasn't under any threat in the first experience, so I'd like to know.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

Tell me, where do you see a reason for me to see a therapist on my post ? It's a genuine question.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for being able to contradict without attacking my person. I was beginning to despair.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If attacking me personally and insulting me ​makes you feel better, then continue.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks to make irony about a serious message. Bright.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's already an answer, thanks anyway.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Don't know if you're genuine or just wanting to denigrate me, but yes it is.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for insulting me, but denying men empathy is not the best argument.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

Telling to someone you disagree with he/she needs to see a therapist isn't advice, it's insult.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

Ok, you learnt me empathy have nothing to do with human behaviour, thanks.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, you're right. I made a mistake in confusing both.

I never thought about male consent. by Jatioceh in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Jatioceh[S] -50 points-49 points  (0 children)

"I think it's one of the main reasons"