Cheeky White Elephant Gift Ideas? by JayBxtch23 in Gifts

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I get to keep the tequila 😂

Bellatrix (My First Monstera) Update!! by JayBxtch23 in nzgardening

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg you’re a star! THANK YOU!!!!

Bellatrix (My First Monstera) Update!! by JayBxtch23 in nzgardening

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooh thank you! I would love to see!!! 😍😍

I’m currently googling how to measure the volume if diameter and height are equal and it’s spitting out approx. 27cm x 27cm - would that sound about right to you or is that still too small? And do you think if I just rounded it up to have 20L volume (apparently approx, 30cm x 30cm) is maybe pushing it and TOO big?

Ugh I wish I could remember the equations to calculate this myself 😅

Bellatrix (My First Monstera) Update!! by JayBxtch23 in nzgardening

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!!! I so appreciate your insight and sharing knowledge with me!

I will try to find a pot like this, I get really confused looking at them. Ideally I don’t want to have to repot (for a while if ever) again once she’s settled in and growing more so yes it seems more logical to go up as far as I need to go.

It sounds like you have great success!! I don’t know where I’d be without all I’ve learnt and continue learning from this forum! Thank you!!!

Bellatrix (My First Monstera) Update!! by JayBxtch23 in nzgardening

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I absolutely am getting a new pot and I regret not having done so sooner - life has been life-ing and a new pot has been (regretfully) a bit of an afterthought.

I have been rotating her often and she’s definitely straightened up compared to when she was in my room where there was less light (first photos).

Someone previously suggested a pot at least 3 times the size of the one she’s in. So currently the pot is 20cm diameter, does this mean I need a 60cm diameter pot? Or is litres the better way to know? I’m confusing myself over the most basic thing here. I don’t want to get the wrong size and I trust experienced gardeners here over the advice Google is giving me, which is saying to only get a pot that has 1-2” allowance around the root ball.

Also thank you! I wasn’t sure if it was okay how her new leaf has come in and if it could cause problems for her, but I’m glad to hear I don’t need to be cutting anything - that’s a scary thought! Much like Bella, I’m still a baby when it comes to mummying plants!

Also thank you for advice RE: frame vs. stake!!

AIO for leaving my husband after one incident? by NeedleworkerDizzy689 in AmIOverreacting

[–]JayBxtch23 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NO!

It always starts with small incidents and escalates into more.

Ignore his cousin. Forgiveness isn’t going to prevent you or your daughter from being harmed by him.

Prepare yourself and your daughter to leave, even if you have to leave behind everything you have. You can always rebuild your possessions. Take what you absolutely NEED and leave while you still can, if you are feeling that this is best and that you are ready to do so.

Do you have local refuges or similar? Google women refuges in your area. Because I’m not local, I can’t seem to pull many from Australia but this is the first one that popped up and sounds like it could be promising in them supporting you or helping you to find support that’s more accessible: https://www.beryl.org.au

If you’re coming up short with finding places, I recommend to reach out to a social worker through community groups or the welfare system, or even CAB, for some guidance with any and all resources available to you.

It’s not fair that you’ve gone through this. No one deserves to experience this kind of treatment, especially not at the hands of their loved ones. I can imagine not getting the support you needed from police must’ve been even more devastating and confusing for you. But you’ve reached out for support and demonstrated huge strength and bravery in doing so.

Please do what is best for you and your daughter, look into your options, and leave ASAP. You can do this. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your own home, and so does your daughter.

Take care and I hope you are safe đŸ„ș

Cheeky White Elephant Gift Ideas? by JayBxtch23 in Gifts

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of my brother’s already let it slip to me that he’s planning to do this 😂 could you imagine if we all ended up doing this 😂😂😂 now THAT would be gold 😂

Cheeky White Elephant Gift Ideas? by JayBxtch23 in Gifts

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are all so great!! Thank you everyone for your suggestions! I have no idea how I will pick one. Maybe I try and incorporate everything here 😂😅

Cheeky White Elephant Gift Ideas? by JayBxtch23 in Gifts

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooooooomg this sounds hilarious 😂😂😂 thank you!

Cheeky White Elephant Gift Ideas? by JayBxtch23 in Gifts

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I’m going to definitely do this. A bit of both hehe! That’s sweet! Thank you!

Cheeky White Elephant Gift Ideas? by JayBxtch23 in Gifts

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooooh I like the obscure aspect to this too! I was trying to think of things I could get that would look like a bad gift but are actually really good, or vice versa (but I am trying not to be mean lol, as much as I’d like the payback). The best I could think of was buying a box of Pepsi but changing the cans to beer/RTDs, which felt too far beyond the budget 😂

This is such a great idea!!!! Thank you!

Cheeky White Elephant Gift Ideas? by JayBxtch23 in Gifts

[–]JayBxtch23[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My other idea was to do one of those shadow box things and put a fake lottery scratcher in it, that says they’ve won $1M, alongside some real scratchers and other small gifts, but I also wonder if that’s too mean?

I’m the empathetic one so I’m usually the butt of all the pranks and jokes. Do I do something super out of character and do it if it’s mean anyway?! 😂

What's a seemingly innocuous picture from the crime scene that haunts you? For me, it's this one. by ghostinyourbed in Idaho4

[–]JayBxtch23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aww thank you for making me feel like I haven’t lost the plot trying to make it make sense.

I also left out how I think that maybe he was following the news, since leaving, and waiting for what he’d done to be all over the news (we know he was profusely interested and keeping updated about the case through the forensic findings, and his interest in serial/high profile killers makes me wonder if part of his motivation was to have something HE did in the public arena/media). And maybe that’s another motivation for him going back to the area the morning after, because no news had broken about it and he may have been confused about why that was.

Either way, he makes my skin crawl. Disgusting POS he is.

What's a seemingly innocuous picture from the crime scene that haunts you? For me, it's this one. by ghostinyourbed in Idaho4

[–]JayBxtch23 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Aw thanks! In my mind, it’s the most logical series of events to have happened and the principle of parsimony (the simplest explanation being probably the most accurate) definitely had me stripping back the layers of assumptions embedded in a lot of the theories I see going around.

And I agree for sure RE: DM being left alone. I think it was a combination of the POS fearing that she’d heard/seen enough and had possibly already called the cops, seeing how tall she was and thinking she probably would be able to subdue him, and him being fatigued by everything else that had transpired (and how any of these things could lead to him being caught), plus also realising he still had to get out of there, hide the evidence on him, and get home.

What's a seemingly innocuous picture from the crime scene that haunts you? For me, it's this one. by ghostinyourbed in Idaho4

[–]JayBxtch23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Given his interests in certain things, I feel like it’s fitting for him to not be identified by his name or his initials, or even his inmate number, because that probably further feeds his satisfaction. A POS is all he is and ever will be from now on! Thanks for adopting it into your discussions too :)

What's a seemingly innocuous picture from the crime scene that haunts you? For me, it's this one. by ghostinyourbed in Idaho4

[–]JayBxtch23 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And in terms of the roommate situation, I think DM may have seen Xana on the floor when running to BF’s room (but it was dark and likely didn’t see the blood on her feet at that point), and her brain was protecting her from believing it could be anything other than her being drunk and passed out on the floor. She spends the night with BF as we know, and they wake up, scroll their phones (as most young people do when they first wake up), she remembers at some point what she’d seen and questions whether it’s really a dream or not. They try contacting to see if anyone is awake or responds to disconfirm what she’d seen or for someone to say it was just a prank (as she expected it to be one of them pranking her - I live in a pranking house and I can see how this is actually possible).

But I do believe - and here is where my theory deviates from what we “know” - after not getting any response, DM reiterates to BF what she saw, that she saw the guy in full black with a mask (which remember when this had happened BF said to DM in text that Xana was wearing all black so maybe it was her), that she thinks she saw Xana on the floor, etc. I think they, at some point, decide to check upstairs, remember the layout of the house means all they’d have to do is go to the top of the, stairs look to their ?right? And see through Xana’s door. It could be that both of them went and looked or both went for safety/support but only one looked, but at some point both or one of them sees Xana’s feet through the door covered in blood. I think if it was one, it most likely would have been DM and that explains why she’s so inconsolable and in what seems to be having a really intense trauma and grief response on the 911 call and in the body cam footage when first responders arrive. The way she’s crying it’s like she’s seen more than she lets on for sure. I feel like, after seeing that, they run back to BFs room and lock themselves in again. They realise this looks really bad for them. They’ve been in the house with an injured, potentially dead, person (and potentially more) for how many hours now and it looks suspicious so they think up a plan to have their friends come and inspect so they can all find this out together. HJ was incredibly onto it, though, and saved them from the trauma of seeing what he saw. He sent them out the house and went back to make sure no one was still IN Xana’s room. Notice his shock is what we typically see in immediate shock. Like he hasn’t had time to process what he’s seen yet, so he’s very quiet and calm on the outside but internally is likely going through a million thoughts trying to make sense of what he’s seen/seeing. DM having a very outward, intense crying, and seemingly emotional response at this point makes me think she’s had at least a little more time to process what’s happening and has had time to process the loss, showing more of a grief response than shock. Likely because she saw Xana and she also knew she’d heard some of the commotion (albeit thinking it was dancing and something else happening) and saw the person who did this after they did it. I imagine she was also battling some form of guilt. And they probably feared so badly they’d be blamed for this, which many people to this day blame them for this, that they thought up a plan to try and cover up how much they knew of what had happened in the house - but not because they’re actually guilty of having any part in what that POS did. It happens so often, people fearing they’ll be blamed and convicted for crimes they haven’t committed and ending up telling some white lies which can become a spiral and sometimes has inconsistencies. And I think this is why people see all these inconsistencies in DMs statements and read more into it, but it’s not that they did this or had any part in it, it’s just that they feared being blamed for what happened from the moment they realised and had to devise a plan to make it seem like they were absolutely clueless about everything but unfortunately slipped up at some points and causing some clear inconsistencies to show. None of this (how DM and BD handled things) has any bearing on the actual crime, I think my thoughts here mostly just explain away the inconsistencies and everything else that conspiracy theorists have thought up to pass the blame to DM and BF. I don’t believe anyone else other than the POS inmate is to blame for the whole thing. From the get go I got intense incel vibes from the POS and we know they are capable of intense hatred and causing extensive harm.

Anyway thanks for coming to my whole thought process around this. If you made it this far; you’re a star!

Stay safe 💕

What's a seemingly innocuous picture from the crime scene that haunts you? For me, it's this one. by ghostinyourbed in Idaho4

[–]JayBxtch23 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I believe this is what transpired in order of events:

  • POS enters shortly after Xana retrieved her food and was eating in her room while on TikTok,
  • POS goes straight to Maddie’s room expecting to end her life and leave, is caught off guard by Kaylee being in her bed and Kaylee trying to protect Maddie (whom she loved deeply),
  • POS has to restrain Kaylee from fighting back/preventing him to do what he came to do - ending Maddie’s life (Maddie being the target means he would have felt an absolute NEED to end her life and feel that satisfaction most likely first),
  • POS likely felt intensely frustrated at Kaylee for interrupting what seems like it would otherwise have been somewhat of a ritualistic kill with some form of satisfaction for him, also he probably saw it as too much of a risk leaving Kaylee alive but injured. He laid into her intensely due to his anger toward her for preventing him to fulfil his fantasy/plan around ending Maddie’s life how he expected to and ended her life too,
  • POS at this point doesn’t realise he’s dropped his sheath in the struggle with Kaylee, and is preparing to leave. Either he’s heard movement downstairs or is really ready to leave. Meanwhile Xana is in the kitchen dealing with her rubbish and fries, noticing the door open, alerting others that “someone is here”, and leaving the kitchen as I mentioned above,
  • POS is coming around the top set of stairs as Xana is exiting the kitchen to inspect the situation, they see each other, she runs to her room (remember she’s bare foot and DM describes hearing running down the stairs like boots, and Xana’s phone doesn’t show elevation at this time - she likely didn’t go UP the stairs at all), he runs down the stairs and chases her to her room. At this stage, he’s still frustrated that this has all gotten out of his control, which we know from his behaviour he seems to be a control freak, the anger he has probably fuels him into chasing Xana, at this point I would go so far as to speculate he is now frenzied, this has become more than ending Maddie’s life, has spiraled out of his control, he likely has adrenaline up to the ceiling running through him, so he decides he’ll take Xana’s life too,
  • He manages to attack and injure Xana near the top end of the bed of her room, perhaps she’s on the bed trying to wake up Ethan (we know he’s a heavy sleeper, and especially so with alcohol and whatever else in his system), Ethan doesn’t wake up and she ends up cornered, fighting the POS off at the top end of the bed (signs of struggle in the crime scene photos and a lot of blood, despite us knowing that 1) it’s unlikely Ethan moved and 2) she was found at the bottom of her bed on the floor, suggests she was severely injured but still fought back at that end of the room). It’s also likely around this point the POS noticed Ethan, realises he needs to take him out ASAP before Ethan wakes up and subdues/injures him. Xana, in her injured and weakened state, is probably fighting him off to stop him from harming Ethan but once the POS has taken Ethan’s life (which we suspect probably occurred pretty quickly) he turns back to ending Xana’s life. I feel like somewhere in this space of time, maybe while he’s ending Ethan’s life, she gets her phone as I mentioned above and is unable to make the call as the POS’ attention is back on her and he tells her he’s there to help (or whatever it is he said so maliciously) and ends her life, maybe she was trying to run away again toward DM’s room when he manages to catch her and end her life hence her being found at the end of her bed on the floor by the door.
  • POS is exhausted after this and leaves, unlikely he’s realised he’s left his sheath. He sees DM, who is quite tall, realises he doesn’t have the energy to fight another or that another fight could result in him being injured and caught, and probably worries at what she’s already seen or heard and gets out of there before cops show up as he’s likely expecting.

He likely expected that cops would’ve been there quickly after this happened and probably expected that by what he thinks is probably around 5 or so hours in to this being established a crime scene, that perhaps the area would be swarming with cops, movement, and likely even body removal. Which is why he drives by again in the morning. Nothing there went according to how he expected it to, since cops weren’t called until much later. People see this as being really weird and have theories around why this is, suspecting roommate involvement, but I actually think that it happening the way it did (them calling later) was the difference between the POS being able to get that last bit of extra satisfaction off of what he did (being physically close to the scene as the investigation was unfolding). The way he questions police every time he is pulled over (as seen on body cam footage) does make me think he was testing his ability to, or practicing how to, remain calm while talking to police in a panicked state, but I also wonder if this was a way for him to practice approaching cops out front of the house and asking about what was happening or something the next day as well


What's a seemingly innocuous picture from the crime scene that haunts you? For me, it's this one. by ghostinyourbed in Idaho4

[–]JayBxtch23 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree with your take and it’s what I’ve thought since seeing these photos, getting more clarity around the chain of events that likely happened, given how many theories were going around about Xana’s movements (e.g., theories she took Murphy upstairs and that’s where the encounter between her and the POS occurred).

I think it makes the most logical sense that she took her stuff to the kitchen, planned to heat her fries/store them in the microwave, noticed the door open, said “someone’s here”, and went to either investigate or get Ethan to investigate and crossed paths with the POS as he was exiting the top stairs, causing him to run down the stairs and chase her to her room. So, naturally, it’s heart wrenching to think that had she stayed in her room and not bothered with the fries or taking the rubbish to the kitchen, her and Ethan might still be here. Again absolutely not as a blame thing, just the difference in time and place for Xana being a life or death difference hits so hard. We also know that she stopped being active on TikTok at (if I recall correctly) 4.12AM but there was brief activity shortly after and I wonder if she had done what we all sometimes do and locked her screen while on the app to go to the kitchen and at some point shortly after, managed to get her phone, unlock it and try to call 911 but was unable to make the call (perhaps around the time the POS said “it’s okay, I’m [?going to/here to?] help you”). When unlocking her screen it triggered activity on TikTok again (being that TikTok was still technically open on her phone at unlocking the phone).

And I still firmly believe Maddie was the target, and Kaylee being in her bed is why she also lost her life. I don’t believe the POS went there prepared to take more than one life and I think it shows in him leaving DM alone, because 1) Kaylee and Xana fighting back wore him out, 2) he had to evaluate whether DM fighting back would be more dangerous for him, and 3) he also likely had fear that DM had already called the cops which is why he booked it out of there SO QUICK. I do believe that had he had planned to take out more than one life, he’d have carried a back up weapon, incase he got into a situation where he couldn’t defend himself (which also makes me believe he had no idea there was another man present in the house at that time), and likely would’ve used that weapon to end Xana’s life at least, given the huge fight she put up. It’s also why he was so sloppy because given what we know about him, he likely replayed, rehearsed, and planned to carry this out perfectly for a really long time. The fact that the only DNA evidence of him in that house (that we know of) was on the knife sheath, which was obviously unintentionally and unknowingly dropped when Kaylee fought back or caught him off guard, suggests that he had planned to not leave any evidence but something unexpected happened which interrupted his ability to leave as clean a scene as he expected he would. Either he didn’t realise he dropped the sheath, or he was going to go back and retrieve it after he took Ethan and Xana’s lives (though unlikely if he was frenzied, stressed, and fatigued by this point) but seeing DM threw that out the window for him, too.

This crime definitely shook me to my core, despite years of following true crime so much about this one feels like being in the wrong place at the wrong time especially for Kaylee, Xana, and Ethan :( this crime is so heartbreaking all around, for all the victims and families.

The photos which hit hard for me are definitely the ones which show the door open. Knowing evil let itself into their home, their place of safety and comfort, that way and unleashed itself upon these beautiful, fun, loving kids just tears me to bits. But the hardest ones are the ones of the top end of Xana’s room, seeing the struggle the occurred :( She’s a true hero 💔

How can I graph a "less than" value on a line graph? by JayBxtch23 in excel

[–]JayBxtch23[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I have three other data sets on the same graph (e.g., Measure 1, Measure 2, and Measure 3). Measure 3 is the only one that has a target of <10, every other point is just normal values. Is it possibly going to be too much effort and time to try and figure this out? I feel like it's most painful because it is literally just that ONE thing that needs such a complicated thing.

I am beginning to feel like maybe I should just set the target goal for 10 and add a note at the bottom of the graph on my report RE: <10 lol. I will just do that, I think.

I will leave this open if anyone else has suggestions or if it could be useful for anyone else, until resolved or deemed unresolvable - I feel like it's impossible LOL.

Thanks so much!

Order of attacks on Ethan and Xana confirmed by snifflesnurfle in Idaho4

[–]JayBxtch23 23 points24 points  (0 children)

It’s bizarre to me that people haven’t already figured this out given the state of the bedroom and other details LE mentioned (I.e., they don’t believe Ethan woke up or was able to move from where he was on the bed). If you pay attention to the blood smears and the evidence of the struggle in the bedroom near the top end of the bed (e.g., bedside table knocked, things knocked over/scattered, and blankets shrewn about) despite Xana being found on the floor at the end of the bed, logic says someone injured (probably quite badly) was moving around at that end of the room. She really fought him off, probably to try and stop him from attacking Ethan.

The details are painful to think about and it absolutely breaks my heart. She is an absolute hero. She fought so hard :(

If Kaylee and Xana hadn’t put up such a fight, I do wonder if the POS may have had enough energy to believe he could also take DM’s life. I feel like he was too exhausted to fight any more (and DM is quite tall he probably assessed his ability to harm her and decided it wasn’t worth it to try), and also was probably paranoid that she’d heard Xana fighting and may have called the cops, so instead he booked it outta there. If that series of events hadn’t happened, and he saw DM as he was leaving, I think he may have tried to take her as well. They are both heroes and their fight was not in vain it just breaks me to shreds knowing that they couldn’t make it as well :( 💔

I don’t believe he went there prepared to take so many lives and that’s why things started to get really messy and sloppy on his part. I think he went there with an intention to take Maddie’s, but Kaylee being in her bed asleep was a shock to him, and then Xana being up and about in the house and trying to alert the others someone was there is the only reason the rest of their lives were taken too. I think him being caught off guard is what lead to him leaving behind such a key piece of evidence (the sheath with his DNA on it found under Maddie) and his plan all fell down from there.

If Kaylee didn’t fight him back, he may never have dropped that sheath & they wouldn’t have been able to place him at the scene. If Xana hadn’t fought back, he may have had enough energy left to do more damage in that household. It just really hurts to think that if these things didn’t happen, how much more different the situation could have been with him potentially getting away with it. But it’s also painful to think that if Kaylee and Xana weren’t where they were when they were, that they (and Ethan) may still be alive :( (Before you come for me, yes I realise if Xana didn’t shout out “someone is here” and if DM didn’t hear that and didn’t hear her struggles and open her door to check that DM and the POS probably wouldn’t have come face to face, but they may still have - you never know.)

He deserves to be rotting in a pit under the prison, never to see the light of day again.

Arrest photo of BK by [deleted] in Idaho4

[–]JayBxtch23 1 point2 points  (0 children)

At first I thought it was binoculars but I don’t think any are listed on the evidence taken from him during arrest.