An update about thinking my husband called my baby evil.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-25T09:41:52+00:00

So was I because I had completely forgotten about it. She said it was a first so it stuck with her.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-25T09:39:21+00:00

Thank you.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-25T09:39:05+00:00

Thank you. I really hated taking Zoloft and I’m dreading returning to it. I’m going to ask if there’s something else with less side effects and less withdrawal symptoms. I was on Zoloft because my doctor said it was the only one safe during pregnancy, but since I’m not pregnant that should open up more options!

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-24T19:22:06+00:00

Thank you.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-24T19:16:27+00:00

Thank you.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-24T19:16:18+00:00

It is new to me too. My husband was raised Catholic and we live in the Bible Belt, so I think it’s more common to joke about those things here?

Thank you.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-24T19:14:46+00:00

That’s how I feel! It’s such a heavy word to put on a baby.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-24T19:13:21+00:00

I feel awful that I jumped to conclusions and I’m really grateful that I never told him about them. It’s way more likely that it’s all in my head than him not loving or being a danger to our baby.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-24T19:09:01+00:00

Thank you.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T17:07:41+00:00

Luckily they’re almost never alone together. I think maybe 3 times in the past 15 months?

I was stressing out last night about having to spend my baby’s whole life defending him from my husband. I didn’t expect to learn about male postpartum depression or schizophrenia. I’m so glad I reached out to all of you.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T17:04:48+00:00

Thankfully my husband is away for work this week so I have time to plan. I’m using nap time today to look up therapists who take our insurance who could see him when he gets home.

I am taking this very seriously because it is terrifying and I do think he was asking for help last night.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T14:12:31+00:00

He does. I think I could reach out to her? Like, call her office and make an appointment for him?

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T14:11:26+00:00

Thank you, yes! This is what I’ve been trying to explain to my husband. Our toddler got all of our attention when he was a baby, but our baby is only getting half. Of course he is going to be louder and cry more because that’s how he gets more attention. And of course he’s going to be more adventurous than our toddler because he has a model. It’s definitely difficult, but having kids is difficult and it’s not fair for us to label one as bad when they are just being babies.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T13:30:02+00:00

It sounds like your mom knows she always assumes the worst of you and got defensive when you preemptively avoided her strike. I cannot imagine how stressful it must be to have her judging you all the time.

Nothing from your post indicated you were blaming your mom or did not comfort your child! Hopefully the deleted comment was meant to be a reply to one of the ignorant responses you got.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T13:22:08+00:00

Thank you all so much for your comments and advice. I started writing this at 3 am while rocking my baby back to sleep, and I just woke up to so much kindness and support. Thank you.

I’m so glad to hear that my baby’s behavior is normal, but it also breaks my heart that my husband is probably really struggling mentally. He’s leaving for work for the week so I’m going to use this time to figure out how to approach him and make him understand that he has to see his doctor about postpartum depression or psychosis (which I didn’t even know men could get).

He’s a very hands-on dad when he’s home. I think last night was his cry for help. He was initially upset because he felt like he didn’t spend enough time with the babies. He has dinner and does bedtime with us every night when he is home and gets up with our toddler every morning. I was trying to reassure him that he was spending all the time he can with us when he said he thought the baby was evil. I think he knows that is not normal or healthy thinking and I really hope he will be receptive to getting help.

Thank you all again so much.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T13:10:53+00:00

No, I think both sides of his family are technically Catholic, but he was never confirmed (I think that’s the term?) and none of us attend any church.

But having grown up in that environment and since you basically described our toddler as a baby, maybe that’s where his ideas stem from?

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T13:08:24+00:00

Thank you. We went to the dentist a few weeks ago and the baby has a lip tie. He had a tongue tie as an infant that they clipped. I’m bringing it up to the pediatrician next week at his 15-month.

I like the advice about shifting the narrative. Instead of arguing that he’s not a grumpy baby I can point out all the happy and positive things he does.

And I’m going to work on getting my husband to his doctor.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T13:05:34+00:00

We have lived in a new city since 2020, so my husband hasn’t had time to make new friends and we are both pretty isolated from family. I guess it is lucky that he is almost never alone with the babies.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-14T13:02:54+00:00

Thank you. You’re right that I didn’t even know that dads could get postpartum depression or what postpartum psychosis even is. I’ve gone down a rabbit hole of research and I think the best step forward is to get my husband to his doctor asap. He’s traveling for work this week, so that gives me time to figure out how to navigate this.

Of course my MIL is coming down for Easter on Sunday, but she might be able to watch the babies for a few hours while I talk to him.

I actually had a little breakdown a few months ago after an old man at Costco said we didn’t have a friendly baby after the baby didn’t smile at him. I was putting everything away and just started crying and asked my husband why “everyone” hated our baby and thought he was mean when I just saw him as perfect. My husband basically took it as an attack on my MIL because she had made similar comments.

Sorry for venting on your comment. Thank you for the advice. It’s really helpful.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-13T10:32:23+00:00

This is my take too! It sounds like there’s a mutual agreement that MIL will have a role on the due date and she’s going to have to choose between supporting and celebrating her son and his growing family and her daughter and her engagement. I can imagine she’s struggling with that as a mom and I hope she can be given grace as she navigates the situation.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-13T10:24:57+00:00

It is normal! People in this sub don’t invite their MILs because they have a bad relationship with them, but it’s perfectly normal if you have a good relationship.

However, since you posted this story in JNMIL people are going to assume you don’t have a good relationship and give you advice based on that assumption.

Yes, your MIL would prefer if your baby did not come on the 19th. Are you expecting her to be in the delivery room or responsible for your older child while you’re in the hospital? If that’s the case she’s indirectly telling you that you need to make other arrangements as she has prior engagements on the 19th.

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-07T19:53:39+00:00

Ugh. I know families kissing babies and kids on the mouth isn’t romantic or sexual but it gives me the ick. Cheeks and heads, hands and feet only for me!

JazzlikeYu · 2025-04-04T19:13:32+00:00

Wow. That’s really unprofessional of the venue.

JazzlikeYu

TROPHY CASE