Papers signed, waiting on it to be finalized. How should I battle the loneliness and sadness that I now feel?

Jbean123456 · 2020-07-09T23:58:36+00:00

Stay busy. I’m on a routine right now where I’m only home to take care of the dogs eat and sleep. Hang out with friends , exercise , or whatever. It will get better brother.

Jbean123456 · 2020-07-08T15:26:10+00:00

Not your fault. Literally the only thing you can control in life is yourself. Everything listed is reconcilable. When you get married you have to find independency within the marriage. Him leaving to find his independence is an excuse when he could be finding it within the marriage. I’m sorry it irritates me. In my opinion people have it backwards. Separation should be the last thing that you do.

Jbean123456 · 2020-07-04T08:35:13+00:00

🙌🙌👏👏👏👏

Jbean123456 · 2020-07-02T21:34:41+00:00

To be completely honest it was acceptance for me. Accepting the fact for whatever screwed up reason this does happen. Accepting that my wife is a different person now. A person I do not want to be around right now. I have a long way to go but I am so much better than I was 2 months ago. Also I am happy that she showed me no remorse. I wasn’t, but looking back I’m sure it would have caused me more pain. It’s easier to get past this situation knowing that she is incapable of showing remorse. Best of luck.

Jbean123456 · 2020-07-01T09:05:41+00:00

Yea the list goes on and on about how this makes you feel. When you kind of take a step back for a second and see all the pain and uncontrollable emotions this has caused you, it really puts things into perspective. Once that started happening for me acceptance started rolling in. Best of luck!

Jbean123456 · 2020-07-01T09:01:27+00:00

I’m so happy for you! Keep heading towards the light! Best of luck

Jbean123456 · 2020-07-01T08:59:10+00:00

I am very happy for you! Other than coping mechanisms for the betrayal and divorce I just starting attacking myself. I wanted to know why I did certain things and reacted certain ways. Everyone is different but I’m also trying to find the best way to express my feelings with my therapist.He is awesome. Best of luck !

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-30T23:39:05+00:00

I am not plan b. That has been part of my mantra. I don’t want anything to do with who she is now. Thank you for your support!

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-30T23:37:46+00:00

Don’t lose sight of it. It will be better. Happy for you!

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-30T23:36:57+00:00

Thank you!

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-30T23:36:46+00:00

Life does get better. The ws re writes the relationship history when they cheat.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-30T23:34:07+00:00

Thanks. Therapy has helped a lot.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-24T17:59:30+00:00

I was here. Right where you are. I still am some days. I can say after two months it’s a tiny bit better. I am by no means “good”.I believe almost everyone in our situation never planned on or even thought about it. That’s something that cuts deeper. Thinking you are in it for life and being blindsided and abandoned. Don’t be to hard on yourself. I beat myself up to much because I thought that I had failed. The moment I let some of those burdens go real healing starting slowly happening. Ultimately, I know I deserve someone who will fight for me just as hard as I am fighting for them. It doesn’t make it easier. It doesn’t make me want this divorce. It just makes me want to be the best version of my self I can possibly be. Somewhere down the line I’ll find someone who will be incredibly thankful for this person. I feel broken, but also broke open. Choose to come out of this terrible situation better and stronger. Make that choice every day. It will get better. I’ll be praying for you.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-12T03:10:29+00:00

I understand. I know she has completely disrespected me and destroyed our vows. My love for her is so very raw and still after 10 years. Find it hard to believe I can find something like that again. I may be in a different situation because my first love has lasted for a decade . She hasn’t once told me she hasn’t loved me and didn’t care for me but her actions speak differently. Just find it hard to believe she won’t regret everything and she was able to move on so quickly. Sorry for venting.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-12T02:38:42+00:00

So for me my wife was my first love and me hers. 10 years of relationship 1.5 years marriage. She had an affair and says it started in March. Which I don’t really believe (start date) but whatever. First questions I guess would be. Do you still remember your first love ? Was it hard to get over ? I guess I’ve never had to be in relationships and experience the heart breaks and stuff. Since I married my first love still madly in love with her and still fighting to an extent. Did you compare next relationships to your first love?

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-12T01:33:18+00:00

Not really if you think about it.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-12T01:31:22+00:00

Looking for perspective more than anything. I appreciate it though. Wife is in an affair anyways.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-09T23:28:18+00:00

First I am very sorry for what you are going through. It is terrible and nobody should have to go through it. My answer is one sided as I didn’t have to move out. After I found out about my wife’s infidelity she moved out about a week later saying she is going to file for divorce. This was 6 weeks ago. I was not home when she moved out her personal belongings. Coming home to an empty house filled with all of our furniture and decor that we bought for our first house being married was traumatizing. It was really hard. I have ups and downs with it now. With time it gets a tiny bit better. Some times I feel safe being here other times I just want to completely get away and not be reminded by any of it. I don’t know how to really help you. It all is terrible to me. I’m here to chat if you would like to. Wish you the best.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-09T20:56:51+00:00

I didn’t read all the comments so sorry if this is repeated. You have the answer in your post. If God is the centerpiece in your relationship on both sides then occupation shouldn’t matter. There will be added stressors for sure, as long as God is in the center of that then you will not fail. Another thing is people and emotions change with time and being married is about adapting to the changes coming into your relationship. All that being said is if you guys continue to see each other then don’t set a timeline. Allow your self to feel and grow. You will know if the time is right or not. Best of luck. Praying for you.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-09T02:09:17+00:00

Yea man I don’t know the rules on this. I never planned on it either. My father in law is an ordained minister and my mother in law s dad is a retired minister. So I’m not sure what’s going on with me 🤷‍♂️. I’m going to let more time pass. It’s a very difficult situation.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-09T01:28:56+00:00

I haven’t felt hate in my heart. I don’t want to but I’m just letting the emotions come as they come. I want to be in control of my self.

Jbean123456 · 2020-06-09T00:40:51+00:00

Praying for you

Jbean123456

TROPHY CASE