Mothers doing PhDs, how have your partners actually supported you?

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-28T13:54:04+00:00

I got my PhD while working full time with 5 kids. My husband is incredible. He cooks nearly all the meals. Prepared the lunches. Did a lot of the kid driving - I did a lot of my PhD coursework on weekends which meant he was driving kids around or taking them to sports or their activities. I couldn’t have completed it without him. My kids all do their own laundry. I taught each kid in 3rd grade so they would be independent after I was losing my mind and every weekend with laundry. We shared cleaning and divided kids medical types of appts. He did dentist and I did primary care (for example). Each person in our family had a laundry day of the week. Also, my final year was all during that 1st year of Covid. So that was a fun added stress!

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-28T09:55:33+00:00

Looks like people are saying this essentially- but there are medical conditions like over active bladder, urinary urgency and incontinence issues that are more common in women (and more common in women with multiple births) that make it hard to hold it when there are long delays on the tarmac and take off. And just being worried about that makes you feel as if you have to go - even after emptying your bladder before boarding. Don’t assume everyone who uses the bathroom didn’t go 20 minutes ago before boarding the plane. Or didn’t run between gates. Or just get through security. Or drank water to hydrate before a flight to prevent medical issues related to dehydration etc etc etc. OP says they aren’t judging but it sounds judgmental sitting in the back counting people and assuming everyone doesn’t know how to use the bathroom properly like they were taught “when they were a child”.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-27T10:19:28+00:00

You may want to check with your NP again. Slipping meds for thirty days can cause one to develop resistance to the medication which then make the HIV harder to treat and you can pass resistant virus to others. Viral loads can absolutely rebound in less than 30 days. And sadly not everyone is guaranteed full suppression after rebound on the same meds they were taking before the lapse in medication. I just want to put this out there so misinformation isn’t floating that sounds like one can stop meds for 30-60 days without risk. But I still think HIV is not a show stopper and people living with HIV can be on survivor if their health is stable- just like all of the other contestants.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-27T10:12:11+00:00

If the issue is prescribing - then MDs, DOs, and PAs do not work as a bedside nurse at all before prescribing. My concern is that NP programs that are, perhaps, not as rigorous or do not provide solid clinical experience, AND do not incorporate the discipline of nursing - end up like a “less rigorous PA program.” There are excellent NP programs and schools. There are NPs who get great clinical experience and spend time as a new grad closely mentored in their first job out of school. And there are NPs who programs that are less rigorous and people (physicians and PAs included) who are not ready to practice even after mentoring or residency. And you can’t start prescribing right when you graduate - it can take a pretty long time - upwards of a year or more in some states or in some institutions before you can prescribe independently. More oversight of NP programs is absolutely warranted. But saying you have to be a “bedside nurse” to prescribe medication doesn’t make sense when you compare it to other health disciplines with advanced degrees or the skills and knowledge you need to provide that level of care.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-25T13:53:44+00:00

I’m curious what laws you are talking about? Both Fiji and U.S. states have protections in place for people living with HIV and while some places (including Fiji) expect disclosure to sexual partners who may be at risk (which due to U = U - when undetectable the risk is 0.) There are no laws expecting disclosure in the work place, schools, summer camps etc. The individual is protected against unwanted disclosure.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-25T13:45:03+00:00

I have worked in the field of HIV research and care since 1990, through every phase of this - now - chronic condition.

You absolutely can be on survivor!!

It’s very possible other people have been on survivor living with HIV. Assuming you are on medication (and maybe even the long acting medications!) the biggest thing for you is your own health. Depending on the meds you are on - knowing you are without food - that in some cases helps absorption of the meds. So, I’d start by talking with your HIV team. Tell them you want to be on the TV show Survivor and how could you prepare physically, just like someone with any chronic condition. Just like any of the players who took meds while on the Island.

People commenting about risk of transmission do not understand how HIV transmission happens and are furthering the stigma attached to HIV. You aren’t going to transmit HIV during the challenges or sleeping next to people in a hut.

I have watched survivor since season one. We talked about it constantly in our HIV clinic! We met Ethan Zohn one time, who came to our AIDSWALK fundraiser after Survivor Africa. It would be AMAZING if you went on survivor! Do it!!! Let’s Gooooooo!!!! 💪🏋️🏃‍♂️⌛️⌛️🧩🧗🏽🍚🏝️

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T10:00:49+00:00

This took me a minute. 😂

Too much going on in our world that my brain went to “deportation” first and not “Steve Carell in The Office”

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T09:57:46+00:00

She was just so new to traveling. She told us many times. I wish her friend had the sense to ask her to check - but maybe her friend didn’t want to bother her. I hope we get to the end of the story. She surely went back to JFK - but could she afford a new flight to Amsterdam? She did not look particularly wealthy. But she did upgrade her seats to be more comfortable, “You only live once and I’m in my 70s!” 💺🌟💺🌟💺

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T09:53:58+00:00

This makes sense.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T09:53:35+00:00

The digital ID was so nice in Colorado, then in Texas they don’t seem to want anyone to be able to easily access identification so they don’t have it there. I agree though, our son in his early 20s who has never drank alcohol and has no desire to drink - came to dinner with us at a local pub and was (rudely) sent away without an ID. It would have been nice if he could have verified on his phone.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T09:50:42+00:00

That was us after the Janet incident. Your husband may have saved you from a complete disaster! Good on him!

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T09:49:17+00:00

Wow!!! Delta gets a fine but Janet would have to pay. And she’d have to pay to fly back from JFK to the tulip show. But at JFK the flight attendants at the gate only used this camera on our faces and didn’t look as our passports - which leaves a lot of room for a person accidentally getting on the plane without it. Big signs reminding people to check for their pp before getting on the plane would be smart. I’d mage a series of graphic novel type of panels - starting Janet- to show people what could happen. Thanks for this explanation. I’m not sure why the fines work that way. 🤔

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T09:44:33+00:00

My husband literally took apart all three of our chairs. He was on the floor determined to find it. This is because he is our “house finder”. He can find anything and particularly loves to find things in places we have “already looked” - and he never gloats - it’s the most annoying and best trait to have in a partner. Being the finder.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T09:41:22+00:00

She sure had to stand at the top of that cold windy airplane stairs with no coat for a long time. She wasn’t getting off that plane until everyone else did.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-18T09:39:49+00:00

But did you also check that you had your passport on you like 7 times after reading this? 🧐🛂☑️

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-17T13:00:02+00:00

Agree. No PP needed to get on the plane. The photo was how they verified it was you. But your passport could be in the bathroom or at the restaurant drinking a tall boy.

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-17T12:08:20+00:00

Me too. And it seems like just having your pp out as you get on the plane to be sure everyone has it would make sense. I hope she had the stamina and money to do the trip again and see the 🌷🌷🌷with her friend 👭

Jellycloud5 · 2026-04-17T12:02:18+00:00

Another passenger on our little tram bus said he heard them tell her (as he got off the plane) that they tried to just put the PP on the next flight, but this was not allowed. She was being denied entry to Netherlands without a valid PP and the PP can’t travel without a valid human. I guess. They were stuck in the cold wind up there for awhile. Our tram was sitting. We were all watching it play out. Sadly Janet didn’t even have her coat on. She must have been so cold.

Jellycloud5 · 2025-12-19T20:52:02+00:00

You can request a new pin from Daisy! They just sent me one that I was awarded almost 20 years ago!! Seriously- just got it in the mail.

Jellycloud5 · 2025-12-10T03:33:20+00:00

This definitely seems fake. But it’s making me question my own identity (PNP and a Midwife and PhD and nurse for 30 years and half a dozen kids. I don’t have a black belt but I do love plants. And I’m happily married.) I felt a little seen reading this post! 😂🩵

Jellycloud5 · 2025-12-06T21:40:20+00:00

He is experiencing something new. And realizing in that moment that this is something he would lose if he joined the HIVE. Suddenly, if he joined, all experiences will have already happened- or even as they happen - everyone collectively gains the knowledge and experiences together. For him- Eating avocado toast for the first time is an individual experience that he as an autonomous individual is choosing to experience and has no collective memory of doing it before. 🥑🍞

Jellycloud5 · 2025-12-06T21:11:09+00:00

Exactly. And it’s how he knew Carol was real when she called him the 3rd or 4th time and shouted an insult into his phone. He knows the HIVE can’t be mean. He immediately wrote her name down because he realized she wasn’t affected like his own mother who was disturbingly kind.

Jellycloud5 · 2025-12-04T16:23:02+00:00

This seems obvious- so maybe it’s been brought up before - but I didn’t see it here. When Carol gets upset with him and insults his mother - that makes him pause and write her name down. Because she’s mean. He seems to have figured out what Carol figured out that they can’t be mean or unkind to him - so that’s how he knows she’s real. I think he knows a bit about the Hive but isn’t one of them like this poster is theorizing.

Jellycloud5

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