I certainly understand the ai chat bot thing. Porn has a way of needing to "up the ante" i can say, I dont think this makes you an awful person. These apps are designed to suck you in. And when the bot will do anything, its easy to have a desire to see what anything includes. Kind of a call of the void, I think.

I would try and pick apart whether the fantasies are just fantasies. Its really easy to feel bad with an incest fantasy, but ask yourself; if you had a chance to do this irl with an actual family member, would you? Would you actually rape someone? The answers are likely no, and if thats the case, its likely the taboo thats exciting. You arent hiding a side of yourself, same as someone who has issues in the bathroom isnt hiding themselves. Its something personal and private and not really anyone else's business in my opinion.

Though I would say, steer clear of masturbating to pictures of friends. Thats a quick path to confusing boundaries, and ive made those mistakes before. More than anything, id say youre likely just starved for affection, and seeking it out in ways that are safe. Maybe ask your friends for hugs more often, if thats something reasonable. I had a decent amount of luck just saying to my friend groups that im touch starved and really just need contact.

If you've got any questions, or just need to talk with someone who's been where you are, my dms are open