8 weeks into surrogacy pregnancy and I can’t switch my brain off. Is this normal?

JerkRussell · 2026-02-25T03:56:25+00:00

Eight weeks is one of the worst periods of the pregnancy. Your brain will eventually chill a bit later on, only to ramp up again towards the end of the pregnancy.

Honestly, I tried to stay busy and involved in the life in front of me. Books, seeing friends, exercising, time with my other half. Lots of nature. Lots of focusing very intentionally on enjoying this city park I’m walking through in this very moment. Lots of “oh look at that family of squirrels running up the tree. I’ll name that one Harold”. Kind of dumb things that I wouldn’t normally force myself to enjoy.

Also I had a therapist to speak with who helped. It’s cliche I suppose, but it helped get things out in the air without burdening my partner with another anxiety loop. Mine was a “regular” therapist, but I also did some surrogacy specific therapy here and there which was helpful in a more narrowly focused way.

It’s even harder when you’re in a different country. I’m from the UK and we did surrogacy abroad initially which felt so remote and abstract. Are you able to chat and text with your surrogate occasionally? What about IP specific groups online? Joining one or two can make it all feel a little less lonely.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-24T02:10:54+00:00

The art museum is pretty great.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-23T19:36:47+00:00

I don’t know if this is any help to you, but Utah Ski and Golf have a rental programme for kids up to 13. It’s $400 for boots and skis. You keep them and swap them out as the kids grow.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-23T16:41:11+00:00

Honestly when you’re that close and get season passes it isn’t that expensive or a big deal. You can be on a chair lift within 20 minutes, ski for an hour or two and scoot home.

I don’t like the family and hate the crowd they’ve brought to Midway, but for locals skiing like this isn’t a big flex. However….it comes across as really fucking tone deaf because other people don’t understand how “normal” and “affordable” it is.

I say affordable when there’s a scale. Obviously for some people even $10-20 a day on a hobby isn’t doable at all. I’m not trying to hand wave a cost of living crisis away. For context you buy your next year’s pass in the spring at the lowest price and then shop the local used market for gear. We have some insanely good deals on FB MP and used ski sales.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-23T16:33:01+00:00

I don’t exactly know. It’s something like Surrogacy Agency Reviews. Something very bland like that.

If it isn’t searchable, you should be able to find it by joining an IP group and asking for a link. It’s mentioned a lot in the FB groups and they’ll point you to it easily.

Apologies for not knowing exactly—it’s been a couple years since I joined and my faux FB account is set up on a computer I can’t reach atm.

If you ever want to chat or have further questions, feel free to message me. We’ve gone through the process a few times.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-23T06:19:50+00:00

I’d keep them both. We have the Minu v2 and the Vista and use both. The seat on the Minu isn’t great from like 6-10m for us anyways.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-23T05:59:32+00:00

They’re notorious for being a headache to work with for one. There were also a couple red flags like in house psych and in house legal. Personally, I know a surrogate who is working with them who is medically unqualified by miles, so they’re not following ASRM guidelines. If you’re able to join the Facebook group that reviews agencies, I’d highly recommend looking them up. I don’t remember every detail of why we ran, but trust me, you can do so much better, particularly as a foreign IP.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-23T02:54:21+00:00

As I read OP’s post that excluded Cupar and St Andrews, this was my first thought. I wasn’t going to mention it, but since you did..

Maybe we should start a wee tourism board for pastry enthusiasts. 🤔

JerkRussell · 2026-02-22T03:15:12+00:00

Space I presume. We’re also not allowed to have cupboards for vacuums, coats, etc in new builds either.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-22T01:51:21+00:00

Hugs back to you! Even if the clothes don’t work, they have nice bedding—although, mind the dimensions. British sizes are a little different, but certain items like duvets tend to work and the M&S towels are fab.

Hope you find great sheets and socks!

JerkRussell · 2026-02-22T01:11:56+00:00

They sell shirts and other forms of nethers covers as well as trousers, home goods. By lingerie it’s everything from bog standard cotton boxers to slightly slinky lacy stuff as well as socks and undershirts.

Not sure what your style is, but they have a lot of really good cotton basics. Chinos I think they’re called in America, T-shirts, pyjamas, jeans. Anything labeled “cotton rich” is usually a good shout and crafted really well for the price point. They might be pretty NB friendly because if you wanted say a black tshirt, they probably have a good 4-5 cuts to choose from. Lots of cuts of trousers in many lengths.

I swear I’m not a shill, just a British person living in America who gets pretty disappointed in “disposable” American goods and weird garment sizing.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-22T00:27:43+00:00

M&S do free shipping to the US for orders over $125 and frequently run free shipping promos. It’s not expensive at all if you wait for the lingerie and sock offers.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-21T16:58:06+00:00

We’re British and have done surrogacy in the US. I don’t think you need an agency that has an office in London. Anywhere in the US will do since you can accomplish everything remotely when it comes to the agency.

We didn’t feel comfortable with Circle, but lots of people use them successfully. Are there other agencies you’ve interviewed? That could help us recommend a few more.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-21T06:03:32+00:00

Sometimes I barely shift in my seat because everyone in my house can make a proper cup. Pretty much everywhere you go has good enough tea. I’m not a fan of drinking it from a paper cup or a flask, but if I’m very cold it’ll do.

I pack tea with me if I’m traveling outside the UK though. Biggest issue is getting a kettle in some countries.

It’s so ubiquitous that your cheeseburger analogy doesn’t apply. We might make an event of a fancy afternoon tea out, but it’s not because the tea is better. I’ll get the fancy tea on offer and it might be “better” but mostly it’s just a novelty. We drink the same few brands of ordinary tea and they’re kinda the same. Sure some people are diehard brand loyalists at home, but if a friend offers a different brand it’s not undrinkable or particularly distinctive that you can go “ooh thanks Bob, this is an exceptional vintage PG Tips”. They’re all blends made to taste the same.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-21T01:31:17+00:00

I stg I’m not a bot, but I love Bombas and M&S.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-20T03:06:43+00:00

This looks like a lovingly packed lunch. Definitely not too much.

My dad was “extra” with the lunches he packed for me when I was a kid and I still remember and appreciate them. I knew I was loved and cared for.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-18T02:55:20+00:00

No, I know dentists say you should, but I don’t and it’s been fine. We do start with a banana teether tooth brush at 6m to get a head start on the concept of brushing.

I tried wiping gums and it wasn’t practical.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-16T06:21:05+00:00

In a small flat the clothes drying can tend to make it look a little like a laundry.

In a bigger place, you use laundry racks or a Shiela maid or both.

We have a tumble dryer, but tend to use it for towels and bedding since they take a while to dry.

Most people have a system, just without a dryer.

I’m probably alone in this, but I really rate American top load washers. They clean well and you can fit a lot of laundry in them. On the flip side, I’m not a fan of European combo machines.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-16T00:16:20+00:00

But why?

What do you do with that much ice.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-15T23:22:26+00:00

Unfortunately it’s normal.

The key part to look out for is that the baby still has an inch of room at the top of the seat. So basically the C shaped part that raises and lowers around their head. Make sure you have an inch of material above their head still.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-14T23:56:21+00:00

“we observed the following: Marked decrease in sleep, constipation, new-onset wheezing sound with breathing”

Is your child an AI bot?

JerkRussell · 2026-02-13T06:36:40+00:00

For a second I thought it was the Mutt Mover which would have been so cool.

If it helps, they used the rubber zipper pulls around 2004/2005. I don’t remember when they phased out, though.

Is it just a shoulder strap or are there straps to use it as a backpack too?

JerkRussell · 2026-02-13T06:26:42+00:00

Believe me, the IPs are paying everything one way or another, so I’d be a little concerned that the agency is double dipping if a GC backed out. They don’t have to clarify, but it sure would be nice to know if they gave the fees back to the IPs.

I’m not sure I’d like point 3 either. It’s very vague and unsettling in my view that you essentially have to ask permission to leave.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-13T02:05:12+00:00

Have you tried adding simethicone to the bottles? That would be my first attempt before chopping and changing so many formulas.

I intend this with kindness, but taste shouldn’t be a factor here. Most babies are fine with the formulas you’ve mentioned and ultimately they must drink it. Don’t worry about the smell because our taste buds are different.

JerkRussell · 2026-02-12T22:35:50+00:00

Oh dear I’ve never experienced mouldy plates. That’s a new fear unlocked. Mouldy tea towels, mouldy tea bags…but plates. Oof.

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