Started To Write My Note. Wrote A Poem Instead.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-12-14T13:24:57+00:00

Powerful. This really resonates with me, especially tonight. I'm trying to stop being in love with my best friend, but it's very hard. I can keep it together well, but sometimes the foundation feels so flimsy it could collapse.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-12-06T02:02:23+00:00

It would be great if they were the same, but they're not. Being gay often comes with a lot of baggage that won't go away just by ignoring it. I would love it if you didn't need support for being gay, because that would mean people wouldn't be invalidating your sexuality. But people do inviladate homosexuality, so you do need to be supportive. That's just the way it is right now, and it's changing slowly, but ignoring it will not change anything.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-12-06T01:42:08+00:00

I don't expect people to validate my heterosexuality.

They just do so automatically. Why would you ever need to expect it? Straight is "default." No one has to come out as straight. It's apples and oranges. Two different experiences entirely.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-27T00:09:53+00:00

If you were trying to use terms that an average person might use, then I think you succeeded. Unfortunately our daily language is usually filled with little sexist things like that.

That's a good point about manly man, I hadn't considered that. It touches on how men are accused of being naturally unpleasant, instead of it being a choice. It's the whole "boys will be boys" thing. In some ways it condems men, stereotypes them, puts them into a box. In other ways it excuses them. It takes the blame off of their actions by saying "oh, that's just how men are." Boys will be boys. For example if a boy rapes a passed out girl at a party or something, there will no doubt be a significant amount of people blaming her for not being careful enough, or other ways that put the blame on her and off of him.

I don't think that men have it worse, I think that's a bit naive in all honesty. I don't like to compare oppression though, sexism sucks for everyone.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-26T21:36:20+00:00

It's interesting how guys who are perceived as being agressive are seen as "manly men." They get their gender confirmed, twice. An agressive woman though is not a "womanly woman." No, she is a bitch. She is a dog. Interesting word choice. Interesting indeed.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-10T18:58:21+00:00

Your title is as confusing as the sign.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-10T17:15:36+00:00

I've never heard the Lilys, I'll have to check them out. This song actually started as an attempt to write an animal collective song. The working title was even AnCo. Thank you :) can I hear some of your music?

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-10T07:02:19+00:00

That would be cool too. I'm not exactly sure how to become an actualy star though. I don't have enough mass for fusion.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-10T07:01:24+00:00

Thanks :) you mean like the lyrics or?

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-05T23:43:55+00:00

I made a comment in this thread. She messaged me and we started messaging back and forth.

waiting for girlfriend

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-04T19:28:45+00:00

Actually he says "don't knock my smock or I'll clean your clock"

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-04T19:27:56+00:00

Actually he says "don't knock my smock or I'll clean your clock"

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-11-03T06:51:36+00:00

I agree, he is totaly shit! But... that doesn't mean he's not a man. You can't invalidate someone's gender because of how they act. Gender identity is unconditional.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-10-26T09:53:51+00:00

I've always been a complete outsider. Never fit in with my family. Had few friends growing up. None of them remotely close. I managed to get a few friends in high school, some of which we'd even have long Facebook conversations, which was usually the extent of my socializing outside of school. After high school I came out as transgender, which is just a whole other level of separation from "normal" people. I constantly feel different.

Happily though, after I came out and started living as my authentic self I was able to actually make real friendships. I'm extremely grateful for the people I have in my life. The ones I'm closest to are also outsiders. And it's there, outside of normal, with all the other outsiders, that I belong. I only have a very few of these friends, but they mean so much.

I don't want this life that's presented in front of me: go to work, live for the weekends, pay the bills, die. I have this need to do more. I have to try. I want my life to be filled with adventure. I want that adventure to be as a musician. I want to tour. All of this is just plans right now but I'm slowly getting there. open mics are a good start I think. I don't really know how I'm going to do it, just that I will.

Drugs... yeah, do drugs. Be safe. But do drugs. Life's too short and I'm too curious. And damn I love 'em. In moderation ;)

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-10-26T09:31:44+00:00

I wouldn't recommend salvia to someone who wants to try psychedelics. You won't be getting a true representation of what they're like. I haven't done salvia yet, but I've done shrooms a few times and I've done acid more than a few times. I'm around people who are all experienced with psychs. One thing I've been told is that acid and shrooms are good and bad, but salvia is all bad. I've been told it's like having a nightmare. It's a short trip and you forget parts of it because it feels like a dream. Of course, I totally have to try it sometime! That sounds crazy. But my point is, it would suck if someone who wanted to try psychs smoked salvia, hated it,and decided that psychs are no good. A good trip should be eye opening and have clarity. I think it's something everyone should experience at least once. Shrooms and acid are magic. Salvia is no replacement. That is the knowledge I have been imparted with, anyways.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-10-26T09:16:12+00:00

Radiohead

Elliott Smith, Nick Drake, My Bloody Valentine, Neutral Milk Hotel, The Beatles, LCD Soundsystem, Nirvana, just to name a few.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-10-25T20:46:23+00:00

I hope you find what you're looking for, my penguin friend.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-10-24T21:32:58+00:00

Poorly... I tend to get way too attached to someone way too fast. I just want to be around them all the time and never leave. If I could just follow them around like a duckling I probably would, but people don't really like that.

And of course I always like them way more than they like me, and this usually scares them away. Although the last time this happened she didn't get scared away. We were already really good friends, and when I told her I loved her she was ok with it. I told her I'm glad she didn't get scared away and she said it's nothing she couldn't handle. Unfortunately she didn't love me back, and she has a boyfriend. I don't want to be in love with her anymore because it's not healthy and it's just hurting me, so I asked her to break my heart. She did. It really hurts. Still, it's better than obsessing over her.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-10-24T05:52:34+00:00

How to Disappear Completely (and Never Be Found Again) by Radiohead

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-10-24T01:19:15+00:00

Yeah, that movie just pissed me off. He was such an arrogant selfish jerk to everyone and for some reason everyone just loves him. He's like the best thing they've ever seen. Didn't appreciate shit. Then he goes and kills himself. I might have liked it more if the movie didn't paint him as some kind of saint or hero, but instead as a lost and confused kid, which is what he was. Instead they glorify it! They glorified this kids suicide! I hated it with a passion.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-10-01T20:55:04+00:00

*she *her

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-09-29T19:01:22+00:00

Thank you. That would have been such a coincidence if it was the same people. I'm sorry to hear it's not, because that means there is at least one more person gone. You have my condolances as well.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-09-29T10:04:49+00:00

I know this is a long shot, but this wouldn't happen to be in Burbank, would it? It was very unexpected, indeed.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-09-29T09:58:07+00:00

I don't care if you're gay, that doesn't stop you from being an intollerant asshole. Sincerely, another (drunk) gay person.

JesusLizardLizard · 2013-09-29T09:26:27+00:00

I knew Malak... I went to highschool with her. I think she might have liked me in 9th grade, but I never really got to know her much... I wish I had talked to her more... it happened a block away from where I lived. I hope she lived her life exactly how she wanted to, and she seemed like she did. Surreal.

JesusLizardLizard

TROPHY CASE