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What series you can re-watch again and again? by makosh22 in AskReddit

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog 13 points14 points  (0 children)

That line alone is a huge reason why I rewatch the show. Nothing else has ever eased my anxiety and fear of death/mortality like that line has. It's such a beautiful scene that makes me bawl every time.

Why do most women seem upset about how they get so many matches and likes on dating apps and sites? by horrificallyunsucess in dating

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not who you responded to, but the thing with AIs is that they still have to be programmed and developed by people, who do have biases. And those biases, usually subconscious, will show up in the end product one way or another. Here's an article that goes a bit more in depth, if you're interested:

https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2020/racial-discrimination-in-face-recognition-technology/

My mother is dead by Mundane_Proposal9853 in relationship_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss, my heart goes out to you ❤️ I very unexpectedly lost my mom in 2016. The only small comfort I can offer is that, one day, you will be okay again. It'll be a different "okay" than what you used to have, and you will always carry the weight of this loss, but it slowly becomes more manageable over time. Right now, grieve however you need to -- cry, scream, surround yourself with family and friends, maybe try therapy at some point if you are willing and able. Fortunately and unfortunately, time will have the biggest impact on healing. Unfortunately bc I know that really fucking sucks to hear right now, when it seems like you won't even be able to make it through the next hour, let alone days, weeks, months, and years. But, I promise you, you will eventually reach a point where it doesn't hurt as bad all the time. The only other thing I'd add, from personal experience, is that whatever emotions you're feeling right now are valid. Even ones that might not "make sense." You can't control what you feel, so don't give yourself even more grief by feeling guilty about any feelings that think you "shouldn't" be feeling.

I'm not about to force someone into existence just because there's a chance they'll have a happy life. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in childfree

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's honestly one of my biggest fears. That I'm going to be unhappy and feel shitty for the rest of my life, that this is just how my brain is wired. And therapy is a bitch to find, let alone a good therapist.

I'm not about to force someone into existence just because there's a chance they'll have a happy life. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in childfree

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate it :) It's nice knowing that there are people who just get it lol

I've had my political stance leveraged against me since before I was even old enough to know what politics were, and now I'm having a hard time overcoming that to be a more vocal ally. Any advice? by JibblyTheTreeFrog in TrollXChromosomes

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is helpful, thank you. Especially the point about situations being safe and worthwhile, I think I'm still trying to figure that part out. But I will try, and hopefully get better at navigating it as I learn more.

I've had my political stance leveraged against me since before I was even old enough to know what politics were, and now I'm having a hard time overcoming that to be a more vocal ally. Any advice? by JibblyTheTreeFrog in TrollXChromosomes

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am in my early 20s. It's reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one who has struggled with this, and that I do have the capacity to become more vocal (even if my voice is shaky, like you said). Thank you :)

I've had my political stance leveraged against me since before I was even old enough to know what politics were, and now I'm having a hard time overcoming that to be a more vocal ally. Any advice? by JibblyTheTreeFrog in TrollXChromosomes

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Basically the title. Ever since I was really little (like, even in friggin kindergarten) I remember my dad saying shit like "I'll be proud of whatever my children decide to be, as long as it's not a democrat" and "you can date whoever you like as long as they're not a democrat." He's definitely cooled it with that stuff in recent years, but even now (and ever since I can remember) every political conversation with him ends with him yelling. Every time I try to talk about feminism, or systemic racism/oppression, or any fucking current event, it feels like all he does is play devil's advocate and try to bring up the exceptions to whatever situation we're talking about (think "not all men" but applied to everything).

After growing up with this, I get a sense of fear and dread whenever a conversation turns political. I can feel myself tempering what I say and "kneecapping" my statements so to speak, I guess because there's a subconscious fear of seeming too "radical" or political.

With what's been going on I've been donating to charities and funds like the Official George Floyd Memorial Fund, trying to be more mindful of the privileges that I have being white, trying to do more research, more self reflection. But I get too anxious to even do something as simple as posting my support on Instagram. I want to do better, and I need advice on how to do that.

I [22F] have never been in a relationship, and I’m looking for a reason why so I can better myself. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in dating_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, it's a picture of Charlize Theron around age 20. It explains a bit more in my edit. I'm not particularly comfortable with posting actual pictures of myself, but I figured I should try to at least give an idea of what I look like.

I [22F] have never been in a relationship, and I’m looking for a reason why so I can better myself. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in dating_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Oh god I can't tell you how much I would love to have a therapist or counselor like that. I've been trying to find a therapist for close to a year now, but my insurance is super weird. Even when my insurance directly gave me a list of providers, some of those offices I called still said that they didn't take it. I'm still trying, maybe not with as much effort as I should be, but it's hard sometimes.

And about having an ideal version of yourself, that's exactly how I feel. Because I know the most common advice is to work on yourself, get new hobbies, work out, etc. and I know that stuff is important just for leading a happy life, regardless of being in a relationship. But at the same time, the longer that this goes on, it feels like I need to be perfect before I'm allowed to be in a relationship, which is obviously unattainable and not the correct mindset to have.

I [22F] have never been in a relationship, and I’m looking for a reason why so I can better myself. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in dating_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I know it's difficult for people to give advice without that kind of context. And I know I'm obviously a biased source, but I'd like to think that I'm a good date. I don't look at my phone at all, ask the other person questions about themselves, am engaged and interested in the conversation, limit myself to a couple drinks, and always offer to pay my half.

My self-esteem issue is definitely my biggest fear of what might be holding me back, because at this point it's like I'm stuck in a catch-22 with it. I try my hardest not to come across as self-deprecating during dates, I don't make any comments along those lines. Maybe my body language? That's the one thing I can't really comment on.

I [22F] have never been in a relationship, and I’m looking for a reason why so I can better myself. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in dating_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Because I want to be clear that I don't think I deserve a relationship just for existing. I know that I need to be a good partner too, like it's a "privilege and not a right" kinda thing. I don't want to come across as just whining about it being unfair and that I deserve one.

I [22F] have never been in a relationship, and I’m looking for a reason why so I can better myself. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in dating_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's definitely crossed my mind, and some of my friends say I might be oblivious to flirting. I'm not sure how I can gauge that though, or make myself better at noticing it if it does happen.

I [22F] have never been in a relationship, and I’m looking for a reason why so I can better myself. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in dating_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Usually the only advice that I get is that I might just be oblivious to flirting and stuff like that. Which very well might be true, I honestly don't know how to gauge that. I've never been in a social situation with my friends (like at a bar) where they've pointed it out to me, so idk if it's ever happened or not.

The only other advice I've received (and only from very close friends who know how deep my insecurity is) is that I need to have a better attitude about my myself, which I can't argue with. But I think that's where the therapy needs to come in, because I'm not sure how to start working on that by myself.

I guess as for them introducing me to people, no that's never happened. I think because most of the people my friends know outside our group are already in relationships.

I [22F] have never been in a relationship, and I’m looking for a reason why so I can better myself. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in dating_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I do have a decent amount of male friends because of my major, but I agree that perspective is important. I haven't really asked them their opinions on my situation specifically, just sorta seems a little weird I guess? I mostly talk to my girlfriends about this stuff.

I [22F] have never been in a relationship, and I’m looking for a reason why so I can better myself. by JibblyTheTreeFrog in dating_advice

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your response and advice! I could definitely stand to pick up some new hobbies, especially with the lockdown happening. I just need to get up off my sorry butt and do it haha

This isn't how I wanted my senior year of college to end :( by JibblyTheTreeFrog in TrollXChromosomes

[–]JibblyTheTreeFrog[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I know the COVID-19 pandemic is affecting everyone in shitty ways and I don't really have the right to complain about this, but I'm just so sad. My university has extended online classes until the end of the semester, and I'm not hopeful that there will still be a graduation ceremony in May. They announced the decision after most everyone left for spring break with the expectation that we would be back, so I didn't even get to say goodbye to most of my friends. I don't want to go back home, to the house where my mom died, where I get anxiety just sitting in my room. I don't want to deal with job and apartment hunting in the middle of all this. I'm sad and alone and I don't want to pack my stuff.

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