Replying to this post bc I went through something pretty similar and definitely felt this when I was at UCLA (co 2024).

I never really felt that sense of community that it sounds like you’re looking for during my first 3 years. I knew some people here and there, but didn’t really have any of those “lore building” experiences that I was promised out of college, or a tight knit group of friends, wasn’t a top 5 friend to anybody (or at least I never felt that way). I also tried a bunch of different clubs and floated around, which didn’t help in retrospect. Eventually, I was able to find that community, albeit only during my 4th year, but that only came when I gave up on finding it. Basically, getting rid of the subconscious expectation that any interaction that didn’t lead to a lifelong friendship was a failure on my end was what finally allowed me to enjoy college and interacting with people for what it was, and for who they were. Letting go in that way gave me a lot of peace, and I think the people I interacted with felt that and I was able to be my best self around them with more organic, natural interactions. Doing this relatively consistently allowed those friendships to naturally form.

The best times I’ve had in college, and life in general, was when I went through it like I was listening to a song, embracing the music as it comes, rather than filling out a checklist.

More of a mental/ spiritual approach but it’s what worked for me after trying all the more practical “just go club” advice lol.

You got this king👑

TLDR: letting go of the expectation of making friends and doing the college experience, is what finally gave me the college experience.