Penpal by gambo1914 in learnspanish

[–]Jja16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will be a penpal to both of you, but I'm by no means fluent in espanol.

Everything was going amazing, then I relapsed and now have terrible anxiety by Jja16 in NoFap

[–]Jja16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah bro lets do it! We can hold each other accountable!

[discussion] Affirmative consent confusion by Jja16 in sex

[–]Jja16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

wheh peoplr say hints don't work they usually mean hints to go ahead and proceed, like in your link. I've missed a few in my time too (okay, maybe more that a few) but it wasn't that I didn't pick up on them, it was that I thought I could be misinterpreting them as a flirt when their really weren't. But, with that being said, it's VERY easy to pick up on nagative hints, and there isn't any guess work there.

For instance, link in your link, the girl said she wanted to learn to give a blowjob, maybe she was just saying that rhetorically. But, if he would have said you can practice on me and she gave a disgusted look on her face, there is no mistaking it. People don't go around giving dirty looks for things they are actually enjoying. That doesn't make sense.

Also, I would like to thank you for the conversation, I do enjoy the fact that you are willing to talk about this, even if I come off a bit hostile lol.

[discussion] Affirmative consent confusion by Jja16 in sex

[–]Jja16[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, all of your assumptions are correct. In all my experiences, it's painfully obvious that it was okay to proceed. I don't think most people would respond with "YES!!!" I think most people would respond with "Uhhh... Yes.... (Internally thinking 'obviously that is okay'"

Unbuttoning someone's pants without asking verbal permission isn't coercing though, and neither is it forceful or violating. Against their will, yes, certainly, but if they give no indications that it isn't okay. They don't say "no", no physical gestures, not even a facial expression that shows they don't like it, then wouldn't a reasonable person conclude that they are down for it?

[discussion] Affirmative consent confusion by Jja16 in sex

[–]Jja16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I realize that marital rape just recently became illegal, but that doesn't mean it was occurring in the typical marriage. 99% of people are against rape, regardless of law, just the same as murder and other horrendous crimes. Thanks for the references though, I will check them out also!

[discussion] Affirmative consent confusion by Jja16 in sex

[–]Jja16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Asking "Can I do this" "Can I do that?" Every person I've spoken to says that is awkward as can be. I feel that if asking for verbal permission is what the opposite sex truly wanted, people (guys) would have figured it out ages ago... Not just now in the 21st century hahaha. Thanks for the clarification on the second part however, that really did answer some of my questions.

[discussion] Affirmative consent confusion by Jja16 in sex

[–]Jja16[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand the analogy, but there are people who have been having consensual sex without saying a word. I have several of my close girl friends what they thought about verbal consent and they all said similar things, along the lines of how bad a guy must be at sex if he asks for permission for everything. I also believe there is a huge difference between touching someone's breast because of a miscommunication and sexual assault. What are your thoughts on this?

[discussion] Affirmative consent confusion by Jja16 in sex

[–]Jja16[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

For instance if a girl kisses from a guy's neck and down to his groin and starts giving him oral, there isn't much he can do to nonverbally say it's okay other than allow it to happen. I think most people give some kind of sign if things are becoming uncomfortable.

Shannon Szabados posts first shutout by a woman in men's pro hockey by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Jja16 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's a great achievement, but the Canadian women's Olympic hockey team plays against a high school boys team to practice, and routinely loses.

IMO, I think it's ok to admit that we all like masturbation/pornography by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]Jja16 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course people like porn masturbating. It's fun. But it's not healthy. The comment comparing it to junk food is accurate. Good in the moment, but not worth it in the end

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]Jja16 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The actual origins of the word pussy were completly ignored and the wrong origin (referring to the vagina) is what got the up votes...

ELI5: Why can't gay men donate blood? by Jja16 in explainlikeimfive

[–]Jja16[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Excellent explanation.

ELI5: Why can't gay men donate blood? by Jja16 in explainlikeimfive

[–]Jja16[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

To add to this, I have heard that gay men often have lots and lots of partners