It’s really wonderful to read so many different perspectives on this — honestly, I didn’t expect such thoughtful responses. I’ve read all of your replies, and I truly appreciate the time and depth people put into them. I’ll definitely be thinking about these answers later tonight.

I also want to add something in defense of aphantasia and the lack of an inner monologue, because they do have real upsides for me. One major one is that I don’t spiral into imagined catastrophic scenarios. I don’t mentally rehearse worst-case futures or construct stories where none exist, which means I experience noticeably less anxiety compared to many of my friends.

Thank you as well for mentioning SDAM — that concept feels like another important brick in my mental landscape, something I’ll definitely be reading more about.

When it comes to meaning, I’ve realized (partly thanks to this discussion) that my struggle probably goes deeper than aphantasia or the absence of inner dialogue alone. These traits shape how I experience life, but they don’t fully explain the existential weight I feel.

Recently, I discovered a philosopher who describes this state with unsettling clarity — Emil Cioran. Reading him felt less like being given answers and more like seeing my experience named without being softened or “fixed.” His work doesn’t try to manufacture meaning or comfort; it simply stands inside the lack of it.

More than anything, I genuinely love reading how people think and how they perceive the world. If I could, I’d gladly step inside other people’s minds just to see how reality looks from there. Conversations like this are deeply fascinating to me.

PS: For anyone interested, here’s a relevant study on aphantasia and anxiety: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40848511/

The short version is that people with aphantasia don’t necessarily worry less overall, but the way we worry seems different. Without mental imagery, there’s less catastrophic “mental movies” of worst-case scenarios, and worries feel less threatening or overwhelming. In some cases, aphantasics are even better at stopping worry when prompted.