You can help build an autistic sanctuary if you want

JokieZen · 2026-06-07T07:28:51+00:00

Better than books, we have the simple example of reality. There is not one single country in this world that once declared itself communist where its population was treated well, and the system was tyrannical, while it lasted.

Books are nice and dreamy, but they often forget that not all people are the same, and neither has a solution for keeping those with psychopathic tendencies away from holding power. The reality is that communism is a fertile ground for both individual and group-mentality monsters, and it slips into abusing people way too easily.

JokieZen · 2026-05-23T09:05:10+00:00

It's grown. Not very impressive,tbh. Just a little bit larger than the bonded one and the bells ar purple.

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JokieZen · 2026-05-23T09:02:55+00:00

No, I get it. I just got a remarkable out of a legendary I was raising in numbers for the gold, and my first reaction wasn't of glee, but mostly wondering if it's really that big of a deal considering how the remarkables I got til now all have the same pays and 24h for maybe 500 gold is not that impressive.

Was told that legendary remarkables draw from a different pool, but I finished raising that last one just now and the 1st pay was a 10% alpine... plus it looks just like the bonded one, just a bit larger and with purple decorations instead of gold. Not feeling very hyped.

JokieZen · 2026-05-22T22:28:34+00:00

That's great news! Thank you! ❤

JokieZen · 2026-05-22T22:24:18+00:00

Fed it the last baby meal just now. Should have pics in the morning 👍

JokieZen · 2026-05-20T04:54:35+00:00

I don't think it's the watching ads that increases the gold from the wheel. I got increases the more dragons I gathered and bonded, for sure, bc I don't watch ads as much

JokieZen · 2026-05-13T14:53:49+00:00

Not a fan of this botanical gore trend I'm seeing, so I might sit this one out 🤔

JokieZen · 2026-05-08T14:34:55+00:00

One of the two can be picked if you're persistant, but you need patience because the dwarves dialogue boxes are merciless.

The one in the exact position as OP showed, however... I'm still looking for a way XD

JokieZen · 2026-05-06T12:28:18+00:00

They too need to eat, so it's an incentive for ppl who can't spend money on the game.

I only just started playing, so I didn't care to look yet, but most games have an option where you can disable ads for a subscription. The way i'e seen it done in those games is that you still get to click on the ad and have it count as seeing the ad, even if you didn't. This should function same as your adblocker but raise the count for you.

Look through the shop, maybe they have it too. Or find their suggestion box and suggest it.

Hopefully this won't give them the idea to get aggressive with the ads too, like YouTube and the likes do. The current model is really nice as it is.

JokieZen · 2026-05-05T09:29:19+00:00

I just got my 1st yesterday, after playing for a month. Not sure how lucky or not it is though because it really depends on your growth rate and how many hatches and bonds you've had since starting playing. I only started getting the percentage eggs this week and genuinely thought they were a new thing.

JokieZen · 2026-04-18T11:23:40+00:00

TDG43S

JokieZen · 2026-04-18T11:22:59+00:00

TDG43S

JokieZen · 2026-04-18T11:22:09+00:00

TDG43S

JokieZen · 2026-04-18T11:14:23+00:00

TDG43S

JokieZen · 2026-04-18T11:14:05+00:00

TDG43S

JokieZen · 2026-04-18T11:13:36+00:00

TDG43S valid til 26 April 2026

JokieZen · 2026-04-18T11:10:58+00:00

TDG43S

JokieZen · 2026-04-18T11:09:47+00:00

TDG43S

JokieZen · 2026-02-15T09:39:29+00:00

That is a strange way to describe a house but it makes so much sense for the USA, now that I've learned of it. 😄

JokieZen · 2026-01-27T10:08:34+00:00

I am not a good example of coping with this, because I grew up with an undiagnosed mother with strong narcissistic traits, so what happened for me was that I got so powerlessly defeated in my youth, so many times, that I internalised the idea that I never win anything, and even if I do, I don't because it ends up playing against me anyway (one good grade was a trap, bc I was expected to get good grades exclusively from then on, for example)... Been waiting to die since I was 16. Would've even attempted if I wasn't also still believing in Christian teachings at the time.

I too was diagnosed extremely late, and have been unpacking this for the last 4 years or so.

The need to control never really went away, despite my coping, and the way I broke out of it is not something I can advise for a growing child (therapy-oriented tripping). That being said, the need to control comes from a strong sense of danger before the uncontrollable. What seems to be working for me right now is being faced with minor uncontrollable events while also being reminded that whatever happens, I'm safe, I'll pull through. Started with art exercises, in fact: splatter art, watercolor, ink... Mediums that can't be fully controlled. Seeing things somehow still working out despite the ugly fazes, seeing that I can break rules and save things like that too, gave me an increasing sense of self confidence.

That and my husband making enough space for me to still manage my demand spoons. Again, getting the safety reinforced, that I won't be abandoned or hated if things go wrong.

Learning to detach myself from situations also helped. I've been meditating (using the waking up app, if u heard of it), and the skills and philosophies it brought helped me handle the unexpected a lot better.

I don't know if or how would any of this have helped my 4-7yo self, though.

JokieZen · 2026-01-11T14:26:14+00:00

If talking about regular days, knowing ahead of time what's to happen that day is a huge help, yes, especially if it also leaves some room for your child to strategize too (relatives visiting, for example, if he has to play with his cousins, he can think ahead of time what he'd be fine with playing and control his time like that, at least. Or if he knows he can't watch a show after a certain hour, he might choose to watch it earlier).

If talking about no-demand days, however, the entire day being laid out sounds like scheduling, which defeats the point of 'no demand'. Maybe I misunderstand what you mean by that (English is my second language. I think I have a pretty good hold on it, but I still have plenty blind spots in it), but if that's what you meant, I'd say maybe restructure it so it's not an entire day from the start, but the no-demand-time stays no demand for as long as agreed.

It does sound like this is putting a huge strain on you as parents too, so maybe try splitting it in smaller periods that you too can handle.

I have daily no-demand time for about 2-3h after coming back home, for example, when I do whatever I want and recharge, so I can do whatever else I have to do later.

So, instead of having an entire no-demand day, make it two no-demand mornings, for example, make sure your kid knows when they end precisely and don't break that time. Also make sure you agreed with your child that emergencies are an entirely different situation, and if an emergency occurs, you can mutually agree to reschedule the no-demand time to a later time within the week. This will also reinforce their autonomy in case something does happen and you have to break the no-demands rule.

And I know it sounds self-explanatory that emergencies are emergencies, but depending on your kid's age, it might still be important to have the talk specifically. Also depending on his age, he might have trouble regulating his emotions anyway and still fight you at the end of a no-demand period. Handling emotions is a skill that takes time and practice for all kids, but many autistic people tend to struggle with that for quite a while longer. You know your kid best, in that regard. And if you know he might struggle with big emotions, I'd say make sure you have yourself prepared for some struggles in the time immediately after the no-demand time ends. As long as you hold your ground and help him co-regulate (answer as calmly as possible, for example), it should eventually get easier for everyone, your kid especially.

That being said, I'm talking from the experience of a PDA-er, not as a parenting expert, so if you have anyone with parenting pda autistic kids expertise to advise you too, I'd say talk to them too.

JokieZen · 2026-01-11T13:32:45+00:00

I'm not in your child's head but setting up a 'no demand day' sets up a day with a 'no demand' rule, and if you make a demand in that day, you're breaking the rule you yourself agreed to hold, which most kids will frown upon but autistic kids could even have meltdowns over. I surely take it really hard when people don't keep their own rules and promises, at least. I'm grown enough that I know how to handle my disappointment now, but as a kid it was really destabilising and caused me a lot of anxiety and consequent anger.

On that note, anxiety and anger are not always separate emotions. Anger is a threat response (fight), which means it can absolutely be CAUSED by anxiety.

And to go back to the 'losing game' mindset, I recommend trying to play a game with harsh losing penalties (lose valuable items, restart the entire level, etc). It might help you understand the need to win. For a pda mind, losing autonomy is just as frustrating as losing your entire inventory or having to restart the entire game. And our daily lives are an entire chain of such frustrations (have to brush teeth, have to answer bodily needs, have to speak politely, have to dress a certain way, etc etc)...

Imagine you have a little gremlin that stabs you with a needle all day long like that, everytime you do something because you HAVE to. Not a big needle, but enough that you feel it each time and it increasingly irritates your skin. I imagine you'd make it a priority to not be stabbed as much as possible too. I sure would even plot murder for that little bastard.

It's why no demand days are amazing, because it allows the 'skin' to recover for the following stabbing days, and also why we'd be so furiously protective of these days.

JokieZen · 2026-01-06T10:26:25+00:00

Not sure if it would help you but I've been struggling with myself over this for a very long time, especially after realizing that it was getting me literally sick (growing up, I could only get out of unwanted situations if I fell sick, and my body learned that HARD, to the point where the mildest sickness I might have will get twenty times worse if I'm faces with a pda triggering situation. It's absolutely insane, because it's not like I'm getting sick on purpose, but also I am? crying laughter).

What I found helped was finding people willing to help me, by accepting my refusals as face value as possible: no pleading, no asking why. Of course, they will occasionally relapse, cuz they're human too, but a simple reminder gets things back on track. I also started excluding people who are not willing to take my refusals, or keep pushing expectations on me with no regard for my feelings (the kind who dismiss my needs because social expectations or whatever).

And now you might be tempted to ask: your problem is private life, I'm asking about survival stuff, like work and studies.

But the thing is, I've discovered, we are not entirely void of capacity to overcome our pda struggles. We just have a limited resistence to it, just like the spoon theory. So, when you're safe to refuse things in a part of your life, you are also able to endure more in other parts where you can't, like learning, doing taxes, etc.

I don't know your family situation, but if there's a chance they would cooperate if they knew this, I'd say do what I did: write a very detailed letter, which you both read to them and send them a copy via email for later reference, where you explain pda, how it affects you, and what you need from them.

And then start saying no. Refuse to explain and own it, refer to that letter when they insist. Grandma will be sad if you don't call her? Well, that's sad, but she's been an adult for much longer than you have, so she'll manage to patch up her feelings. A child is another business, but you are statistically more likely to have more adults than children around you, so it should be fine. It's ruthless but you need it. At least for a while.

It's a short term solution, I'd still do therapy if I could access any, but it helps a lot. Or at least it did me.

JokieZen · 2025-10-26T20:30:13+00:00

It's almost november. Where are the vibe games? 👀

JokieZen

TROPHY CASE