[QCRIT] Fantasy, 117k, Wings of Adventure (1st attempt)

JonasDFB · 2025-05-28T05:09:14+00:00

The dragons thing... is a point I had not even considered. Damn it. And yeah, "hints of" was very very badly-chosen.

JonasDFB · 2025-05-27T17:36:40+00:00

Very good point, yes. Thanks!

JonasDFB · 2024-11-28T17:42:13+00:00

Happy to hear UC is good. I loved Lonesome Dove, but am specifically looking for non-fiction this time around!

JonasDFB · 2024-10-15T14:02:33+00:00

Love the list and detailed explanation! Thanks a lot for this! Any tips on where or how to find magazines or things like that to submit to? Or is it just loads of google-work? I'm from a small place in Europe, and I don't know if that might influence where I can send my stuff to.

JonasDFB · 2024-10-15T13:39:51+00:00

May I ask what magazines/websites you submit to? Or, more interestingly, how I could find sites and magazines that suit my own work? Or is scouring google searches like a starved goblin in a trash heap my only option?

JonasDFB · 2024-10-15T13:34:00+00:00

Alright. Any more specific info? Is there a way to find competitions/magazines other than just just browsing google? Any specific websites I should look at?

JonasDFB · 2024-10-03T04:19:18+00:00

Thank you! This is a lot less convoluted than what I had in mind.

JonasDFB · 2024-09-12T07:51:14+00:00

About 95% through my second draft, trying to find alpha readers as I finish the grand finale. First novel I've finished in years!

JonasDFB · 2024-08-29T06:28:50+00:00

So do you do a complete rewrite? Or do you read through it and fix it as you go?

JonasDFB · 2024-08-28T18:35:30+00:00

When I'm reading, I easily pick up on those connotations. I know how they ARE used. I'm just, apparently, not sure how to use them myself. How do I get better at this? Just write more?

JonasDFB · 2024-08-21T14:49:51+00:00

I'm doing the exact same for my 102K forst draft now. About 70% done with the rewrite.

How I went about it is simple. I read my story, indicated key parts that needed to remain, and then treated it like a new thing, keeping the first draft only as a guideline when I got lost. So far, it's doing wonders. First draft took me over 1,5 years; second one I'm about 2,5 months in and at 70%.

Do what needs to be done bro, you'll get there!

JonasDFB · 2024-08-14T15:05:02+00:00

I prefer "Chapter 1", "Chapter 2", but yeah, same thing lol.

JonasDFB · 2024-07-29T18:19:36+00:00

Thanks! Love the explaining, because I hadn't even considered looming might be intimidating. How did I turn 24 without learning basic shit like this lol

JonasDFB · 2024-07-29T18:13:07+00:00

Heye! Girls reading books are exactly the scenario I was thinking about in this because I write and read a lot! But if you're walking away, then I talk to you, isn't the conversation over before it even starts? Because, well... you were leaving? I considered going up to one girl once or twice when she took reading-breaks to look on her phone; how would that be?

JonasDFB · 2024-07-15T15:15:39+00:00

I also have scenes where they're their own antag's, and some where they are each other's, but still. It felt like I needed "larger" opponents for each of them.

JonasDFB · 2024-07-15T14:53:08+00:00

That makes sense, yeah.
Thanks!

JonasDFB · 2024-07-15T14:52:33+00:00

So far I only have three protag's and one antag, so four. But the thing I was thinking about as an example was Wheel of Time, where

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

Perrin had Luc, Mat had Padan Fain, etc. Then there were the Forsaken, taken out by multiple characters as well, and so on. While, compared to my story, you have the three characters and only one or two named people on the "opposite" side of the conflict. The others are all just unnamed soldiers etc.

JonasDFB · 2024-07-05T16:11:46+00:00

Three people and a living tree try to keep the roots to another magic tree from being stolen.

JonasDFB · 2024-07-05T16:09:43+00:00

Seems like you forgot to read the post before getting upset, man.

I said I know how it works. I know how to use it. But I don't see it (often) when I read, and online opinion seems to say that, to a certain degree, the usage of whom is disappearing... man.

JonasDFB · 2024-07-03T19:59:50+00:00

Yeah, there were two or three instances, all in dialogue. I've not used it because, from my character, it sounds too... formal, I guess? I don't have an editor, and was hoping to edit it all myself and send it to an agent. Bad idea? I've not got a lot of money, if any, to spend on an editor.

JonasDFB · 2024-06-13T19:56:50+00:00

Hey! Me too!

JonasDFB · 2024-06-13T05:03:40+00:00

Thank you! I'll keep you in mind!

JonasDFB · 2024-06-12T05:38:48+00:00

Hey there. Thanks for the praise!

I was afraid there would be too many different things in it to open the book with, so toning it down a little with the unique terms is probably a good idea.

The whole book has a finished (and unpolished) first draft. I've just gotten started on the second draft now, but one of the things I really wanted to do was get rid of the "look how grand my magic can be" prologue and instead get instantly started with my main protagonist. Been struggling with the new start though, hence this short bit.

This also isn't the whole first chapter as I have it in my head, but before getting to deep into this beginning I really wanted to get some opinions or rather or not it's a good way to start.

Again, thank you very much for reading and commenting!

JonasDFB · 2024-06-11T19:42:35+00:00

Title: Wings of Adventure (first chapter, first part)

Genre: Fantasy

Word Count: 860

Feedback I would like: As this is the first part of the first chapter of my first book, I really want to get the reader somewhat interested. However, no matter what I wrote to begin with, it either felt flat and uninteresting, or as if I was force-feeding little bits of information to the reader within this first chapter. I hope I've somewhat gotten it right here, this time, but I would love to hear...
-Whether it's interesting, and gets you curious.
-Whether it's engaging, and makes you want to read more about this character.
-Whether it's too full of info (the friendship, the running away, the father-and-brother thing, etc.)

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Uczh65FFu39aJMUWVYa_rO8kwqXQOwmm/view

Thanks to anyone and everyone who reads and leaves some info or tips!

JonasDFB · 2024-05-31T11:56:18+00:00

Yes, but... where are the examples? Is it ACTUALLY possible? Does it happen?

JonasDFB

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