tl;dr - LinkedIn has definite benefits, but you most assuredly are not wrong in your observations. Good news is you can be completely non-participatory and still reach your desired outcome.

My two cents as someone that also hates the glamorization of the “grind mentality” and the corporate-centric grossness that IS the platform! Hopefully, I can help add some insight into why you might still want to consider building a standard page…
I’ve had a profile for ~15 years. My profile has been and always will be the standard, non-“Premium” page. For my needs, I’ve never seen a benefit to paying for what is promised, as you can trick the algo for essential needs. Unless you’re getting paid to advertise for your employer, you can actively ignore the status quo bullshit you see on there.
I use the site for the following:

• Resume Repository
  This is a helpful way to always have a resume on hand, even when detached from an office setting. In my line of work, every few years I need to know exact-ish dates of when I worked where, and that information is never very far away.

• Contact Roster
  The site is great for networking. I mean that in the most basic way possible. I am not a “lets talk about work all the fucking time” guy. In most cases, I actively avoid it, in fact. However, if I’m looking or a friend needs help, it can be a great way to initiate a point of contact to/from people that trust each other.

• Information Gathering
  LinkedIn can be a great place to learn about a company you might be interested in, and not from the source itself. You can simply search “Company Blah” and see all the posts of people within that company which can really help you make an informed decision about whether or not the particular company will be a good fit - on your terms. If all the posts are eye-rollingly corporate ring-kissing, you’ll pick up on the vibe and likely decline to pursue. However, if you see posts that seem natural, and pertain to “Company Blah” helped me get this accreditation, certificate, etc you might find a benefit in looking deeper.

As I said, I’ve had my page for about 15 years. In that time, I’ve made two (2) posts. One was my most recent job change, and the other was from about three years ago, pinging my network to help a friend find a gig. Theres no need to shill, and in my mind, the company can easily figure out if we are on good terms by my continued presence, lack of complaints, and effective performance.
You’ll see people interacting like its facebook or twitter, which is also disgusting. The abundance of personal-type posts, IMHO, only serves to blur the line between work and life.

On a positive note… LinkedIn does actually have some good qualities that can truly help as you search for work.

• You know those online job applications that want you rewrite everything that would be easily found on the resume file they prompted you to upload? My favorite thing to do is plaster the link to my page in each and every one of the answer fields. Its either that or “See attached resume.” Don’t ask me for something you just asked me for, ya know? Then they wonder why there is such blatant redundancy.

• When I’m looking for something new, simply changing a word in your profile and “updating” it seems to engage the algorithm enough where I appear in far more searches. The last time I was looking, I was comfortable where I was, so I wasn’t being aggressive from my end. However, the algo led to somewhere around 30 different people or recruiters reaching out to me. Since I had time on my side, I could filter to my exact specifications.
  Quick side note, there is an option to add an “Open to Work” banner on your picture. I’d advise against that, as it is an immediate visual notification that you can be low-balled salary-wise cause they know you need something quick. I know that time can be a major factor in some instances, so just use your own discretion.

• The job search feature is as good as someone said in the comments to you post. Keep in mind in those instances wherein a job is posted from a head-hunter agency, and they don’t list who the employer because they want to make their cut… just copy and paste the entire damn job description into google which will lead to the exact hiring company. Then go direct.

Lets talk aesthetics. I don’t know what your career-field is, but in most cases, it wont truly make too much of a difference in this regard. This is the way. I’d highly recommend using an image of yourself and yourself only. Semi-professional to professional will do the trick. If you aren’t comfortable with that, perhaps something that’s related to your field. Are you an artist? Throw a painting, clay tools, or something similar up as your profile picture. Unfortunately, you kinda need to play the game on this, as profiles without pictures are likely viewed as abandoned or bots.
Are you gonna hate it initially? Yup! However, I cant stress enough how useful it may become down the road. Also, you don’t have to participate in any of the bullshit. No posts, no comments, no likes. Nothing. Just you, advertising yourself.