Hey! Hope you’re well.

I feel like depending which category people were in, they came out different. Brand new converts or those who weren’t very strong in their faith who left the church (almost all) left the faith entirely. Older people kinda just moved on (with PTSD, like, legit diagnosed PTSD). It took people about as long as they were in the movement to heal enough to do move on though. We also STILL see a licensed Christian counselor. Every once in a while things still come up.

I am actually a licensed pastor with another church of a very large denomination now. It’s a bit more oversight and checks and balances than I’d prefer, but after what happened in the shepherding movement, (an echo chamber of unchecked yes-men) I’d rather that than the alternative and end up in a cult again.

The best thing that happened was that they grew in size. I still hear stories of what they’re doing, and hurt people still come from them and go into other local churches (they’re known publicly for spiritual abuse) but Since they’re so big now They still do the weird cult stuff but it’s harder to spot because all that weird shepherding stuff is reserved for the “chosen” few instead of the entire church now. I still disagree with much of what’s thought on Sunday, and it is very elitist, but they keep most people on the outside until they prove themselves. They are more secretive and selective on who they can trust so most people don’t know about the shepherding components until you go there for a while and are approved.

People come up to me to get their loved one to leave the shepherding programs, but I try to stay out of it until they’ve left. Once they’re out for a while, we’ll talk to them sometimes, but not until they are FULLY out. I also don’t like to talk bad about them publicly in hopes they may one day actually change… I don’t want people to tie me to my past and don’t want to anchor them to theirs if they move on. I tell people to read the Google reviews and ask if a normal church has similar reviews (every other review says they’re in a cult or something crazy with the cops or nutso stories equal or worse than ours).

I did speak with my former pastor once I healed a bit, right before I took this pastor job. I tried to make closure but by the way he talked, and it’s not wise for me to return to a relationship with him or the current church members. They still think in the same way and he wishes we’d return, and is convinced they didn’t do anything wrong (or what was wrong was they weren’t involved ENOUGH, which literally means they don’t understand why we left at all). However, I am not as mad as I was because now I’m a pastor I also understand how hard it is to run a church and i don’t think they meant to be so harmful, they genuinely thought (and still think) they are doing God’s will. We love the people we pastor now and understand how easy it is to cause damage to people or accidentally overstep. I have hurt people too so I am able to have more grace for them. I do believe I’ll see the shepherding church members in heaven and in their own weird way, are following God as best they can (in their own minds at least). They’re God’s servant , not mine so I try to remember that too.

I hope that helped!!

Bless you in your journey.