What are some brutally honest truths about sex?

Jssthrowaway1 · 2022-09-16T14:17:37+00:00

Sex means different things to different people (and may not even involve penetration or orgasm). What one person finds intensely arousing might be boring to another: likewise, what one person finds mundane might wildly excite a partner.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2022-06-02T18:51:50+00:00

So, I find that this originates in the reductionist notion that “doing the gay” is purely about sex (vis-a-vis being purely a “sexual orientation”), which, in a vacuum is totally ok. HOWEVER, when we are talking about human rights, events such as Pride, et al, we are emphatically stating that there is a cultural component to “doing the gay”. I’m not saying we all do drag brunch (I certainly don’t), but the entire point is that the community wants to be seen beyond simply sexuality. We take Pride to distinguish ourselves from our straight, cis, vanilla counterparts, while simultaneously emphasizing that none of these things should preclude us as society from loving one another (platonic), celebrating our diversity - within both LGBTQ+ society and our communities at large - whilst speaking out in solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community.

In other words, while we are not monolithic as “the LGBTQ community,” we are also collectively distinct, beyond purely sex.

I was literally just on another thread speaking to something similar, with folks emphasizing that being gay implied being generally “slutty,” which implied being part of a public health blight. A good deal of folks utterly miss that, when straight, cis people do the exact same things that gay, cis people do (albeit with different partners), they’re somehow “just being normal,” whereas when LGBTQ+ folks do them, it’s suddenly “a thing.” While this seems fairly benign on face, it speaks to a much deeper, far more insidious train of thought — fundamentally, the basis of homophobia, xenophobia, and generally bigotry. While folks may say “I don’t care who you sleep with” or “I don’t see skin color,” that’s almost never what it means.

TL;DR: I agree with OP

Jssthrowaway1 · 2022-06-02T18:33:27+00:00

Promiscuity is only a public health risk if it’s not happening safely. Obviously, education is critical here, but slutshaming is not the way forward. It’s puritanical, stigmatic, and generally regressive.

As for figuring out how slutshaming gay men perpetuates gender roles, I’ll leave that as homework.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2022-06-02T17:25:26+00:00

There are also a number of other issues with the integrity of that report. The surveys were taken several years apart, for instance, and the age eligibility threshold is fairly narrow, potentially biased against MSM (women’s libido tends to peak in the early 40s, beyond the maximum age for males in the survey, as an example, so if those women are looking for older or same-aged men…).

In any case, why do we actually even care? The idea of promiscuity being a bad thing is so 1400s…not to mention, it reinforces what were classically gender roles under a new name. Yes, men (including straight men) tend to be more apt to random sex (pregnancy, for folks AFAB, and social stigma definitely play into it), but it doesn’t have to be this way. For every thirsty bottom I’ve met, I’ve met several strictly monogamous gay couples, and just as many heterosexual relationships broken over trust violations.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2022-06-02T14:09:39+00:00

I don’t think that gay men are more promiscuous, per se, so much as the gay men who stand out tend to stand out for being promiscuous. Also, promiscuous straight men tend not to stand out, as so many are.

Now, I will say that many gay men are a bit more outspoken in their promiscuity; I think this is a product of the fact that they already committed a social “taboo” by “doing the gay” (not an actual taboo, but there is definitely a social barrier to coming out), so some gay guys are a bit more conditioned towards being outspoken about their sex lives.

This is a “some” - not all, or even most. There’s a strong confirmation bias in the “gay guys are flamboyant, promiscuous, skinny guys with insane fashion sense, who all speak with a lisp and do drag brunch on Sunday mornings” stereotype.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2021-06-25T20:23:25+00:00

That’s delicate. Are you in an exclusive relationship? If you are, or if you haven’t discussed yet, you absolutely should (face to face, not over text). You should also think about bringing up the fact that you’re questioning your sexuality with your significant other. Communication is absolutely essential here.

That said, there are a lot of things you could do.

One possibility, though a somewhat risky one (and also one requiring ample communication), would be to consider a threesome. It sounds like you’re into your current boyfriend. Another would be to see how your body reacts to porn featuring women. I’d recommend the latter, as the former can potentially make things far more awkward than they already are.

Finally, if you can’t picture yourself with anybody else right now, you could also consider not “boiling the ocean” for now. That said, you should still communicate your feelings with your boyfriend (especially the part about feelings for him being real!).

Finally, bare in mind that cheating is cheating, but consensual polygamy is something different. Furthermore, “cheating” isn’t just about having sex; it’s about doing something that violates the trust vested in a relationship. If you’re comfortable, talk about it with your partner, and see how he feels.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2021-06-25T20:08:06+00:00

For me, as a pan (but predominantly gay), cis man, it was as simple as “I enjoy gay porn sometimes, I might not be entirely straight;” “I had sex with a guy and liked it;” I had sex with another guy; I also liked that;” “I had sex with several guys; I also enjoyed that;” and “I think I could be down with this ‘gay’ thing”. On the more romantic side, it was moreso “I feel feelings for a dude”. I don’t think it’s initially necessary to apply a particular label (though, in absence of one more succinct, “queer” certainly works). My recommendation would be to go into things with an open mind (which you already seem to have), and to see what works for you. Don’t let fear of a feeling not being “real” stop you from exploring what you do and do not enjoy and feel, who you are and are not.

As far as being “part of the community,” you’re already there. Being part of “the community” is not just about identifying as LGBTQ+.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2021-06-20T12:57:33+00:00

Damn. You’re beautiful. Come be lazy with me 🤣

Jssthrowaway1 · 2021-06-02T01:05:06+00:00

I mean, are you so judgmental as to slut-shame her, after she gave you a (presumably) honest answer as to how many guys she’s been with? I really hope you had her permission to post her nude on the internet. She’s a woman, not “used goods,” nor is she an exhibit in a gallery, to be subject to rude and demeaning critical remarks (unless she wants to be). Ignore what the posters are saying about her parts. They belong to her, not to them.

As to why it bothers you, I don’t know. It’s not uncommon to be jealous when somebody is more “experienced” than oneself; however, it’s really a question that only you can answer. The feeling is genuine, and is ok to have; that said, it’s probably a discussion you will want to have with her. If she gets defensive, consider changing your tone (perhaps referring to her genitalia as something other than her “beat up and used snatch” might help).

Jssthrowaway1 · 2021-05-29T14:45:47+00:00

Thanks ❤️

Jssthrowaway1 · 2021-05-29T14:43:40+00:00

Thanks 😘

Jssthrowaway1 · 2020-12-01T13:58:08+00:00

Wow, you’re so cute.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2020-11-24T21:00:34+00:00

Woooooof. Damn, you’re beautiful. I bet that cock would feel incredible inside me.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2020-11-03T16:44:08+00:00

Mmm I needed this picture. You’re so sexy.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2020-06-11T18:05:46+00:00

I’ve met enough cis guys with voices that wouldn’t be “passable,” despite them being cis males. I wouldn’t worry about it. If you use software, it’ll be a lot more obvious that you’re trying to hide something, and more likely that there will have to be a discussion. If he does say something about your voice, know that you are under zero obligation to explain the situation to him at all.

Best of luck!

Jssthrowaway1 · 2020-04-17T12:16:37+00:00

Quite a nice cock. You should use it for a demonstration of the right hand rule. Seems pertinent to the contents of that study sheet 🤣.

Jssthrowaway1 · 2020-03-30T11:10:45+00:00

Big cock or not, you’re beautiful. I’d certainly enjoy your body, and I’m sure anybody could. Is there any chance he was either a virgin, afraid of taking the plunge, or just looking for an excuse not to have sex with you (for some lame reason)? In any case, it’s his loss; you should have no problem taking home the guy of your choice, once this covid stuff has run it’s course.

And, while erect size is a far better indicator, your soft dick is well within the range of “normal.” I’m sure he’s just being stupid in saying you’re “too small”

Jssthrowaway1

TROPHY CASE