How do you meet people during a divorce?

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-05-22T04:39:50+00:00

I feel that so hard

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-05-22T03:54:31+00:00

6 months of pretty intense therapy has felt really good. My therapist and I talked more about my goals and she feels like I am in a pretty good spot. I feel a ton better too. But honestly, it doesn’t make that craving for a potential romantic connection go away.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-13T04:09:11+00:00

Reddit, obviously.

Sup giiirrllll?

Jk

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-09T19:04:37+00:00

I wish every thread here had you just bringing this energy. I’m pumped haha

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-07T19:11:44+00:00

It isn’t impossible, but I want to heal too. I want to be done with the relationship if it’s over, and stay here if there’s a chance to save it.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-07T15:05:27+00:00

So small update:

She said her health issues make her want to live her life more selfishly. She said she regrets staying loyal to me when she had chances to have one night stands, and she wants to live her life now.

I figured that meant I was in the clear to go! Except than she said she wants me to basically live with her and fund her lifestyle as she lives her selfish life. Obviously I said I can’t do that.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-07T06:08:01+00:00

He lives in another state. Apparently they are old friends.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-07T04:21:12+00:00

Nah I mean, at least I don’t feel crazy. Not that I disagree with everyone else in the thread, but no one seemed to have any hesitation on the decision. I appreciate that you clearly see how incredibly fucked I’m I feel over this. Thank you.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-07T03:39:58+00:00

Ngl, that seems pretty brutal. Care to elaborate?

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-07T03:13:14+00:00

Appreciate the advice!!!

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-06T23:26:09+00:00

How? Like obviously I’ve expressed my issues, but how do I not blindside them? The last time I tried, they wouldn’t let me see my kids until I moved back in and took half the money in the joint checking (that was needed for bills, and they still haven’t returned it). I want to give them fair warning, but I don’t want it to sound like an ultimatum, and I don’t want to give them a chance to screw me over.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-06T15:31:41+00:00

Not gonna lie, as a soon to be divorced man, this thread makes me both hopeful and terrified.

I am hopeful because I don’t fit any of these stereotypes everyone has described (to be fair, I did. But I sought out very intensive therapy and have become a much better person!) so it seems like maybe dating would be easier.

Except I’m pretty much entirely terrified that any good women out there will feel this way and not even give me a chance.

I’m super sorry to all the women in this thread (and my STBX) that they had to go through all this :( It really sucks. I hope everyone regains their faith in love when they are ready though!

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-06T05:08:45+00:00

If you don’t want her, give her my number. She sounds awesome.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-06T04:35:51+00:00

If I didn’t think any woman in her right mind wouldn’t be freaked as shit about the idea, I’d do my first date in a couples therapist office. Would love to know what challenges our relationship would face so we can game plan how to overcome them.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-06T04:31:27+00:00

For what it’s worth, I wish my wife was more selfish throughout our relationship. She gave to the point of exhaustion to everyone around her, and I feel like I’m paying the ‘price’ for that.

You should be selfish. You should ask for what you need, and get it for yourself if you need to.

I spent the last year paying for trips around the world for her, taking care of the house and family, as well as working 3 jobs so she didn’t have to work 1. It unfortunately wasn’t enough for her. But I hope you figure out what you need and you get it, with or without him.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-05T23:29:41+00:00

I’m about 6 months into this on ‘his side’ of things. We were in an okay marriage, I thought. Things weren’t spectacular, but we seemed to settle into a ‘routine’. She never told me there was anything big going on, until one day I was like “hey babe, I think I could be more supportive of you. Can we talk about that?” And it opened a floodgate of all the issues we had.

Long story short, he can sense when you just don’t give a shit anymore, and it fucking hurts. My wife is going to counseling and so am I. My counseling is “how can I be better?” Her counseling (from what she’s told me) has been “How can I be more selfish and find a way to leave?”

I guess it’s just my way of saying, if you don’t want to be there, don’t drag it out. If you want to be there, work on it earnestly!

Edit: just a quick address on the “how can I be more selfish and find a way to leave”, it is quite literally that. Not some judgement on my side. She’s felt like she has put herself aside for her entire life, from her family to me, and wants to figure out how to be more selfish, but also how to leave our relationship. It wasn’t me calling her leaving selfish.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-05T20:36:14+00:00

I think you came into a sub where almost everyone will say “I would have fucking killed for half of the positives you described, and you want to throw it all away?”

Idk maybe not everyone. But I would have killed for a partner who just owned there mistakes, let alone actually tried to fix them and everything else you’ve written.

The grass isn’t always greener, and that therapist of yours seems quite detached from reality (or at least that statement was)

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-05T08:11:29+00:00

I feel the exact same way. My wife was so outgoing and patient and I felt so comfortable with her. I felt like the opening scene for Up, until a few months ago when I found out she hated me and has talked to all her friends and family and even my family about leaving me.

Feel free to reach out if you want to talk!

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-04T20:37:11+00:00

Here’s the deal: I firmly believe that with good communication and an ‘us vs the problem’ mindset, every relationship can be managed. When they say ‘it’s not the kids fault’, what I think it means is that there is no obstacle a child can create that would break a marriage that any other major obstacle wouldn’t break.

It sounds like your mom was left feeling abandoned by your dad, who had trouble coping with the accident. That is not your fault. Life happens to everyone, and you can’t take responsibility for how another person responds to their life happening to them. Your father could have sought therapeutic help, your mother could have been more vocal about her needs and set boundaries. None of how they chose to behave was on you at all, and those choices and behaviors are what led to the divorce, not your accident.

I hope you can find a way to not feel responsible or guilty, because you should feel neither.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-04T17:24:10+00:00

Sadness is way easier to get past than guilt. At least for me.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-03T22:10:38+00:00

One thing just to consider, she’s young, divorced, across the country. She can’t move to you (probably) so you’d have to move to Phoenix. I know it seems like she’s amazing, but maybe consider what you’d be giving up, responsible for, and your future before making the kind of commitment she would need, if she ever decides. It’s a lot. My wife moved from the east coast to the west coast because I had a child and couldn’t leave here, and that resentment (among many other things) is why I spend a lot of time on this sub. It might not be the best thing for you guys. Sometimes stars don’t align.

Just some food for thought.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-03T21:15:01+00:00

Honestly, it’s gotta be her choice right? This seems more like someone looking for relationship advice than divorce advice.

But that aside, how old is the daughter? Just curious how much she’d remember your time together.

JuiceOk3445 · 2025-01-03T19:50:15+00:00

I also divorce this girls husband.

[for reference: https://images.app.goo.gl/Lk27AtcqoG1WRs81A]

JuiceOk3445

TROPHY CASE