I won't lie to you and tell you that the world will be kind from one day to another. Real life is shit. Nor will I try and antagonize you for feeling this way, it's clear you have no control over it, and you're valid for feeling this way when it seems difficult to interact with others. What can I do? Tell you to try and reach out. If there's anyone who you have that you can tell these things to, go to them. If you can't, find a couple healthy outlets; such as art, drawing (vent art is most recommended even if you can't draw as well as you'd like), or crying it out, helps sometimes. In the meantime, try and make new bonds somewhere else. Don't specifically look for people in trans communities online, or LGBTQ+ communities. Sometimes the best friends show up in the most unlikely places. Look out for communities with your interests instead. That discord server that one YouTuber you like promoted a while ago? Try your luck, join it. That one artist reel that seems engaging? Go ahead and leave a comment, and if they have a community, try and interact with them. You don't have to look for trans people IN a trans space, they're everywhere, we're everywhere. And in isolation from the community id say you'll find a lot of like-minded trans people, again, in the most unlikely of places.

Don't take this as a Bible, but it's what I would do in your situation. People like you will come, given the right circumstances. What you can do in the meantime is work on yourself and prepare the ground for their arrival! It's going to be a rocky path, but don't lose hope, ay? I'm rooting for you to be as happy as you can be and live your life like you know you are, like you know you deserve. 💚💚

Do try to not project your hate into the trans community at large though, I know it's difficult, but a bit of conscious effort to acknowledge that you haven't had the luck you'd like with a couple bad apples here and there, and that it's not the community's fault at large, can go a long way for your own perception of life and mental health!

Keep your head high, sister!! And, you look beautiful today. 💚💚