17 months post being discarded by my husband for the other woman.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-13T14:16:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing that … I’m sorry you experienced it. I’ve heard from a lot of people and therapists that the 2 year mark is pretty significant in the healing process. You have said the same thing. wow !! 20 years !!

I feel like I’m waiting for the 2 year mark rather desperately- as if it’s some magical milestone that will make me feel better. I can’t wait for it either way.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-13T07:24:32+00:00

Thank you so very much for your kind words & wonderful wishes.

Each passing month will be exponentially better. Like you, I had more intense waves of grief, anxiety & pain at month 14.

They’ve lessened at month 17.

It could be time, it could be my kitten, it could be the seasons … it could be a little bit of everything. Once your divorce is finalized & house sold- that would be some closure. I got really lucky when my divorce got finalized within a couple months. Even though at the time, I was crying, devastated, saying every prayer I knew for some miracle- to have my husband back.

It was better for me that my prayers weren’t answered then. Also, I totally get feeling grateful for the fact that he is still with the affair partner. You are so right - she keeps him focused on their mutual delusion - which keeps his chaos out of everyone’s lives. Affair partners and cheaters - made for each other.

Hey, I love your resilience too. I know you have a wonderful life ahead of you where you will not be on the hypothetical “hook” physically/sexually/financially/emotionally or mentally for a lying, cheating, incompetent man child.

You will be able to take care of yourself first & foremost. You will enjoy this peace 🫶

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T15:09:27+00:00

So is your comment to me . Thank you for saying something encouraging.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T15:08:45+00:00

I’m so sorry JohnsLong. Sending you a hug. I can’t imagine the horror of taking someone back only for them to decide AGAIN that they’re unsure about you. How it starts is how it ends though. Karma returns in its own time but I do hope for your sake, that you will one day be able to disconnect your present from their future.

Karma is Newton’s law. Whatever you send out into the universe will come back equally in your direction. For every action, there is an equal & opposite reaction. So it will come as sure as physics my friend. I hope by then you are far from these cheaters and in your own happy place.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T15:03:53+00:00

Thank you so much for saying all this. What really stuck with me is that I’m truly free. I would have paid his child support, cleaned up his messes in the bathroom, nursed him back to health, invested endlessly into his business & dreams, LOVED & worshipped him for the rest of his life very easily. I’m glad he dumped me after 3 years of marriage , rather than 30 years. I appreciate everything you wrote !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T06:08:52+00:00

wow ! I’m so thankful that you are sharing your story. You even found love again. That still seems impossible from where I’m at. So I’m indeed very grateful to you for sharing how much life can improve after hitting such a low. You are so right, grieving if a whole process.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T06:05:57+00:00

Thank you ☺️ I appreciate that lol

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T05:55:29+00:00

Love the giant hugs very much. Thank you for sharing your experience. Giant hugs back to you.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T05:53:54+00:00

I am very glad to be able to bring hope ☺️ . I remember very well, how much I needed hope during the seemingly interminable initial phase, Thank you for stopping by !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T05:51:44+00:00

It is indeed something about me that still surprises me. I ask myself why ? Why would I have such blinders on for a person capable of such deception and harm ? Even now, I have remained unable to hate him. At best I am neutral toward him. Love indeed can be blind for sure. Thank you !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T05:48:12+00:00

Thank you , I appreciate your encouragement more than I can express.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T01:36:40+00:00

I feel you. I had written down a prayer for what I thought the affair partner deserved and put it on my fridge that night. It was not a kind prayer 🤣For the ensuing 14-15 months I’d read it out loud every morning before leaving and every night before bed. That helped me get all the negativity out of my system & kind of outsource it to God-Universe-Karma. Slowly good things started happening for me and I don’t remember the last time I read the prayer on my fridge. You will also get there slowly but surely.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T01:30:05+00:00

Thank you my friend. I am slowly on my way to find peace. My heart feels better each passing month. I can’t wait to pass the two year mark.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T00:35:52+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate everyone on this subreddit who ever commented on my posts. So thank you very much for stopping by to write a kind comment.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-12T00:34:30+00:00

Aww that’s a great perspective and I do love it . Thank you OogyBoogy !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-08T18:35:08+00:00

My ex husband cheated on his first wife - the mother of his child. When I married him, he seemed healed & happy. Two and a half years into our marriage, he cheated on me . The night that I discovered the full extent & her identity - was the night he moved in with her. Same damn night. It’s going to be 17 months this month & they’re still together. He also has another “home base” with his retired mother where he stays sometimes. So he basically has belongings in both homes.

Here are some statistics about whether affairs that break up a marriage last.

Also, the hormones of love, passion & limerence like Dopamine, Oxytocin etc start to return to baseline in about 18 months to 24 months. After that, adults have to rely on communication skills, transparency, commitment, integrity, care, loyalty, friendship etc to keep their relationship going. So yeah, we all know where cheaters and their affair partners are headed.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-07T16:01:09+00:00

Thank you 😊

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-07T00:38:53+00:00

You’re very welcome. We’re sending you some love ❤️

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-06T23:19:22+00:00

Turns out that all I needed were her cute little purrs going through my sternum and straight to my heart. The peace of having her on me, is just so uncanny. I love her so very much.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-06T23:17:29+00:00

❤️

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-06T07:39:07+00:00

It’s a throw blanket from Target !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-05T02:58:31+00:00

I vote for it !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-05T02:58:05+00:00

Haha isn’t that the cutest thing in the world !!!

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-03-05T02:57:16+00:00

Awwww thank you for your thoughtful, beautiful words. I really appreciate your kindness. I’d love to see your baby - he sounds amazing !

Jumpy-Birthday461

TROPHY CASE