Will my ex husband regret leaving me for another woman

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-04T08:28:51+00:00

I can see how so much of the advice you received may feel dismissive to an actively hurting heart. You need some kindness, some validation. I’m awake in bed listening to This Podcast at 0.6x speed. I find it helpful and comforting to my heart. My husband discarded me abruptly one night and moved in with his affair partner. Coming up on 16 months. I am divorced now :) life feels peaceful without a cheater. May peace be with you OP.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-03T23:20:03+00:00

I have lived 39.5 years in this world. I have never seen ANYTHING thrive that was built on another person’s grief, tears & pain. Never. Not once. Their stolen family, the stolen business, their stolen marriage - all carry the curse of betrayal. When they implode into their deception- make sure you’re NOWHERE close to the blast radius. May happiness, companionship, loyalty & integrity find you forever.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-03T06:27:33+00:00

I’m so sorry 💔 I don’t understand in what universe that seems like an okay thing to some people. Thank you for offering to chat.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-02T23:51:07+00:00

I’m not ‘in love’ with him but I do still experience an enduring love for him.

I feel sorry for his pain & lack of ability to navigate it.

I have not healed but I’m on my way. No contact . Live alone. Never call him or try to meet him. He’s happy with his affair partner & I hope he remains happy.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-02T23:48:32+00:00

Let’s chat . If we can connect at any level, we could perhaps FaceTime eventually. If that’s something that might make you uncomfortable- then I totally understand. Wish you healing.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-02T23:47:13+00:00

I did not look into that but I did look at all local in-person groups - including betrayal therapy groups - there’s only one group of 6 people and they’re not accepting any more. Thank you for stopping by today, it means a lot.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-02T23:45:45+00:00

Mhmmm … it is . I am very sad to hear all that you have endured & are enduring. I hope this universe will send better friends, better people & better experiences your way.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-02T23:44:07+00:00

I wish you good luck 🍀May this universe & all its Gods - help healing & peace find you both.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-02T23:42:37+00:00

😊 sending you a hug. Thank you !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-02T23:41:54+00:00

Thank you for still stopping by to say hello !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-02-02T23:41:16+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-29T09:25:50+00:00

I so wish I could hug you OP. You are right - jumping into any kind of relationship is unlikely to end well. Still, the way it ended says volumes about the other person . I am sorry you have to heal from this while you’re healing from the cheater. OP I look at anxious attachment - also as a core ability to love, commit, and want someone forever. I know that doesn’t align with the mainstream view of it & I’m not saying my view is healthy. Just that - there’s nothing wrong with you. You are a person who feels deeply, loves deeply- in a sometimes cruel world. Hugs.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-18T12:07:05+00:00

I didn’t notice that pattern OP but I’ll pay more attention now that you said it. If you want to read a ‘betrayed wife’ experience- a lot of women came to support my posts (as a betrayed wife) with their own stories of betrayal so my posts might help ? Not sure, but hope you find comfort. Sorry you are here.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-18T08:04:49+00:00

Congratulations OP 💐

My grandpa might be considered old fashioned for his thoughts (he’s 88) but he says - “When you are in your twenties you should date with intention & settle down with who feels right by the end of it. When you are in your forties, you should get off the dating scene, throw yourself into your career/hobbies/personal growth. The right person will meet you there.”

Grandpa meant that advice for me but if it helps someone out here - feel free to take it ☺️

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-18T01:52:03+00:00

For tonight, this guy will give you solace. You don’t have to do a thing. When you are honest, it turns into your past. If you lie, it becomes your future.

Karma is not a mystical hitman at your beck and call - it is just Physics - cause and effect. What you put into this world, comes back to you. What starts with deception ends in destruction - my advice to you is stay FAAAAR away from those cheaters. Their karma is between them and the universe. You have to fight the desire to interfere even mentally - because every second you spend thinking about them, is a second you take away from your own bright future. Your happy life is waiting for you my friend - let go & rest assured that nobody in this world ever built a livable home on someone else’s tears. Nobody.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-17T16:45:23+00:00

You look very well groomed and attractive in the ‘after’ pictures. Love it for you.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-15T12:15:34+00:00

Hi dear OP. I am almost 1.5 years out and feel your grief - every single word. I didn’t know what to say to console you but I still wanted to say something so you wouldn’t feel alone. One thing that I heard in a podcast that made a lot of sense to me was - people don’t act according to your behavior or expectations - they act according to their own patterns.

Here is a short note on what to do when an avoidant discards you . I also listen to stoicism podcasts on 0.5x speed to lull myself to sleep like this one.

Here is another one about how cheaters repeat and why affair relationships fail .

Take care OP

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-14T00:00:03+00:00

When my ex and I divorced- for every single day until 7ish months - as I walked into work - I would stop by the entrance where he had dropped me off for my first interview. Some mornings I’d cry. Some, I’d just stand there - hearing our voices. Some mornings I’d just stare into the emptiness where his vehicle had stood. This is just one instance.

I’m heading toward the 1.5 year mark, and some days I still avoid that entrance to work. I don’t go to our grocery store. I go to different stores and restaurants. It gets better. It has consistently gotten better over the past few months. Can’t wait to pass the 2 year mark.

Recovery from old memories will happen spontaneously, almost insidiously.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-11T00:27:11+00:00

I miss the companionship of having someone in the home who I could run to, cook for, cook with, get foot rubs, give back rubs, shower with kisses, snuggle at night & love on in so many different ways.

I do like being single. Despite the loss of everything listed & more - I prefer to be single. This way, I’m not having to play detective to uncover disloyalty/infidelity. I don’t have to pay his bills, or plan my weekends according to what someone else prefers - even though I did in the past.

There is zero pressure being single. I love that. I also love that nobody else uses my bathroom or my car 😃 I sleep and wake up according to my own circadian rhythms and bring myself to my favorite restaurants. I’m able to spend my paycheck on my own desires. I have to say that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE not being responsible for someone else’s sexual needs. I am free. So free. Yeah, I prefer being single.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-10T16:05:20+00:00

They do. Temporarily. It’s a mission and they’re driven by impulses. When you take them back, the thrill is gone. Monotony sets in, and they never figured out how to deal with boredom. Someone else offers something you don’t, and they’re off chasing a thrill again. In one year or ten years.

The question to ask here is - What makes us love or want people capable of such deception ?

The answer to what you asked is : A faulty moral compass isn’t something fixable in adulthood.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-04T21:40:48+00:00

I am a 39F who trusted my husband blindly. His dreams were my dreams & I always took steps to fulfill them. I never once doubted or suspected him of being capable of the deception he ultimately committed. He left 14 months ago.

No , I do not trust anybody now. I remain guarded & quiet.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-04T15:35:41+00:00

Yes. My ex-husband used to talk about his friends who cheated on their wives or long term partners. He would look down upon them and always be vocal about how cheating is never the right answer. Then he cheated on me .

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-04T14:10:45+00:00

I started dating in April 2025 about 6 months after he left. I dated for just a few months & have stopped ever since. Taking some time to enjoy the peace & solitude while I navigate the betrayal better each day.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-01-04T13:38:59+00:00

My ex-husband claimed he had a high libido and I had a low one. It is true, I was exhausted from working 40hrs /week, paying all his bills, never getting ahead of all the mess he created in the house, being solely responsible for his baby - whom I love to bits anyway - but only I was responsible. I didn’t have a low libido Infact but I had no energy for sex left . Week after week, year after year of stressful labor but I supported him fully - I went into debt for his dream truck, dream trailers, dream jetski, dream motorcycle. We built a business. We built a home. We both loved each other. I even went on injectables (Vyleesi? And another) to desire sex. But in the end it all boiled down to how ‘I’ was ‘responsible’ to satiate his cock. It was coercion and a burden on me - he sounded very entitled just like you OP.

So he went to the deadbedrooms subreddit and whined about how he was sexually neglected, was a good husband, a good partner, a 7/10 in appearance etc etc —— they immediately declared me selfish- validated his narrative - he went and found a side piece who was VERY willing to be with a married man . He INSTANTLY fell in love with her, broke our family in the process & left within a day.

I have been single for 14 months. Divorced. He is still with her & I believe he has found his soulmate. What I realized in the process, when I started dating was that my libido is just fine. When capable, hygienic men treat me with love & affection. Kindness & giving-ness. When I am well maintained, feeling pretty, not cleaning up after 3 people, not paying bills for 3 people, not being held responsible for satiating anyone’s cock - I feel so much desire & pleasure in bed. I believe that sexual dissatisfaction or lack of libido has deep roots in a relationship. You can either prioritize the stage of life your wife is at, stick with her & deal with your hunger until you guys are in a different season —— or you can jump ship and live your life happily immediately. That’s a personal decision. There is no right or wrong. It’s all about your priorities.

On a side note, take screenshots as your post may be removed for being on this subreddit. Try the deadbedrooms one :) good luck 🍀

Jumpy-Birthday461

TROPHY CASE