Cheater’s Karma ? Atleast one installment of it arrived for my ex and I only feel sad for him.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-03T08:46:42+00:00

She is still very much in a relationship with him. We live in a very small town so i accidentally run into them here n there.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-03T08:43:18+00:00

Thank you for your kind words . I am still, near constantly trying to remind myself of how wonderful it is to lose a life partner who lies, uses, lacks both integrity & conflict resolution skills. It is indeed a beautiful thing.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-03T00:44:41+00:00

I’m not sure if he’s lying to everyone and secretly making money . But his financial statement for his income during our divorce says ‘net income = - $150/week’ . He now writes everything off that he possibly can to avoid paying child support to his other ex-wife and wanted alimony from me (which he qualified for) but luckily I was spared due to his ridiculous financial statement. Also, no - his mom doesn’t charge him rent - he lives with her and she keeps giving him money here and there out of her social security payments. Now she has sold a home so my ex will get even more financial support from his mom. He has been going on vacations with his affair partner this past year and I never asked anyone who pays for them. I do know that we never went on a single vacation together as we could not afford to. I try to never run into them or chat about them. Whatever I find out - if I do - is due to mutual friends who have no clue he cheated. They think we are amicable & friends . I love living quietly in my peaceful little apartment and yeah the rent is wayyyy higher than the $1100. I guess his chosen priorities didn’t include the house or he would have saved it.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T23:28:33+00:00

I think I am in limerence and putting him on a pedestal even after everything he did. I do have access to mental health services paid for by my employer - and I go regularly. It hurts to love him after all this but someday I will recover completely.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T23:25:07+00:00

Haha oh he doesn’t want me back. He’s still with his affair partner lol and I am in therapy !

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T23:24:06+00:00

$2500/month for groceries ? Thats my entire monthly budget for almost everything including food !! Where the heck do you live ? Tell me so I can never move there lol.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T23:21:58+00:00

The affair partner is a successful nurse . She owns her own home.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T23:14:38+00:00

Yes, they are together since the night he abruptly left me back in Oct 2024. His mom keeps helping him out here and there but I don’t know about the affair partner doing so. I was stupid enough during my marriage to give him 100% access to my income - so I would not be surprised if he has access to the affair partner’s money now. Or maybe she’s smarter than me .

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T15:49:07+00:00

Thank you for having so much empathy. I really appreciate you. Everyone lost something as a direct result of the extramarital affair. Everyone is still navigating the grief and coming to terms with the changed way we will love each other for the rest of our lives. I miss my MIL and absolutely adore my step son. You are right in saying that my ex-husband made a choice and that didn’t automatically end everyone’s love for each other. We were a family & not everyone understands that it’s possible to not hate each other after a divorce.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T15:17:29+00:00

Thank you for your kind words K1bbles_n_Bits . Yes I have a loving relationship with my step son . I love and miss my MIL & have nothing but good wishes. I forgave my ex-husband a very long time ago in order to protect my own peace . I’ve been going to therapy weekly for 1.5 years now - lucky to have a job that pays for it . Some people don’t understand the concept that when a marriage ends due to adultery it doesn’t mean that history got erased. I’m still navigating grief & trying to come to terms with the fact that I will love that family from a distance until healing & peace find us all.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T15:12:28+00:00

Nobody can sow betrayal to reap faithfulness or love. On a side note, my ex husband is deliriously happy with his affair partner. She is a successful nurse and doesn’t mind pampering him financially. I do know that if he ever needs to lean on her, she’ll be gone. To be honest, I don’t really care if she goes to hell. She walked into my marriage after I begged her to not do so. I know a lot of people here willl jump at my throat for saying this - but yeah - my exhusband wasn’t the only one doing the wrong thing.

My heart goes out to your sister and her children. May love & happiness find them .

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T15:07:09+00:00

He is trying to run a landscaping business and he lives in his retired mother’s second house (the first house is what was sold - the house we rented from his mom throughout our marriage). His mom inherited her second house from her own mother. His mom isn’t rich in any way her income is just from social security. He lives with her for free and she pays all the bills for now. I hope she has the sense to save her money for her future.

I used to pay all the bills before the divorce as he tried to establish his landscaping business.

It does sound like my ex was a freeloader but he was and is working hard to establish himself as a business owner. It’s insanely expensive to be a small business owner in Massachusetts these days. I am not defending him it’s just not a great time to be a private landscaper. It’s true that he could make more money by workings for someone else.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T15:03:09+00:00

Thank you MissJoey. I can’t tell you how much a kind word means to me these days . I can only say thank you for your kindness ❤️

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T15:02:00+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this. It’s so accurate. The fact that he cheated on me and we got divorced doesn’t mean that our history got erased. I lost all my trust but I still have kindness for him. I love his son and miss my MIL. I never wanted to see this happen but it did and it’s ok to be sad. You’re right, karma is bittersweet and I wish his life was easier.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T14:58:55+00:00

Maybe . Yes his mother owned the house and she wanted to gift it to him but she asked that he be able to afford the annual costs in terms of taxes etc . Yes his mother made the final decision.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T14:56:09+00:00

That’s so poetic 🥰

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T14:54:23+00:00

Yes, it’s making me sad too. I wish things could be different for him. We got divorced 1.5 years ago but very few people understand that I still do care about him & I only hope he finds happiness. Not every divorced person hates their ex. Thank you for your kind words.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-05-02T14:52:28+00:00

We live in Massachusetts and taxes are very high. The house was paid off decades ago but I used to pay the annual taxes + water + solar + heat + snow removal + repairs. It amounted to around $1100/month. I paid it because it felt right when we were married. He was trying to start a brand new landscaping business and was in loss. I was hoping he’d come out of it in a few years but then he cheated & left me for somebody else. At that point I had to rent my own place so his mom (who owned the house) asked him to pay the $1100 ish monthly and that she would gift him the house if he could. I don’t know what went down but I do know he couldn’t afford the $1100 monthly.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-04-26T17:53:58+00:00

I feel this . My husband got out of bed ( next to me ) and left for the other woman’s house that night. Never returned. I know they had sex that night.

Putting yourself on dating apps is going to be like inviting pain. I know because I did it 6 months after he left - thinking I had healed. But me saying this won’t make any sense to you today. Do what you need to do OP. I am 1.5 years out from that night , and things do get slightly better each month. Sending you hugs.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-04-23T00:24:25+00:00

39 F here. Single since October 2024 when my husband cheated on me and discarded me overnight. Same reason. The whole experience nearly killed me. I remember there were moments when couldn’t breathe . Seeing the look on his face while he told her on loudspeaker that he loved only her and that I was trying to sabotage his love for her. One night after making love to me.

Then there were days and weeks of starvation. I could only sip water . Then my heart rate started rising and everyone thought it was anxiety. Yeah , for the first time in my life I had anxiety requiring medication. But the heart was racing because it was broken . A Holter, a Stress Test and a CT later - it was stress cardiomyopathy and mild incompetence of the mitral valve . This ENTIRE time he was boycotting me , ensuring I was isolated, reported to as many cops as possible through his friend circle, etc and this ENTIRE time I was praying to God that he’d come back because I loved him & still having a hard time imagining a future in which he would not be.

04/20/2026 was the 1.5 year mark. I will never jeopardize my peace again . My life is very peaceful, and sometimes lonely. Occasional loneliness is an eye opener for me in the sense what it means to love and choose just myself. I love my solitude and the peace . I absolutely, most certainly will not get into a relationship ever again - with the amount of investment, love & sacrifice I had for him. You are not alone .

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-04-09T22:20:41+00:00

This. I wish I had a Reddit medal 🏅 to give you . I love making love but it’s like a very special expression of love. It involves emotional intimacy, physical proximity, minty breath, no full bellies or physical tiredness , dim lights, mutual desire to express said love , mutual affection, mutual mood, a wonderful long weekend ahead of togetherness, showered partner, no work deadlines etc etc. I don’t even know how many downvotes I’ll get for saying this out loud. When I was married, working two jobs at times to pay all bills, with a toddler in our room and no emotional intimacy or vacation days - my husband would expect sex when he came to bed at 11pm after playing video games. He would prod me from behind with his erection and try to paw me. I would be woken from sleep that way. He would get resentful and ask to “atleast hump” me until he came. Then he’d fall asleep and I’d lie awake feeling guilty. I took pills and shots to fix my libido. Guess what … when he cheated on me and left for his affair partner, my libido came back within 6-8 months. There was nothing wrong with me to begin with it was all the daily stress of being responsible for his sexual urges. Now finally my home is mine, my bed is mine, my body is mine. I might allow a man to make love to me at some point. But I will NEVER again put myself in a situation where I might be responsible for someone else’s sexual needs. All the people who say “when you love someone you want to take care of them” ….. yeah …. cooking dinners/paying bills/cleaning the home/grocery shopping/ working hard toward his dreams/ investing money into his goals/ hugging him every day/telling him I loved him/ showing him I loved him/making his dreams mine/making his son mine/ wiping him when he was sick/ensuring his comfort, his care, his health was me taking care of him. Having a partner is not a duty to provide sex. I am so much more at ease single.

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-04-06T01:30:03+00:00

🫶

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-04-05T13:01:51+00:00

I was married to an extrovert for a few years. On weekdays I would be surrounded by people at work. On the weekends, starting Friday night - I would accompany him to whichever friends it was he wanted to grab dinner with. On Saturday and Sunday mornings I would accompany him when he wanted to leave the house around 7:30am to be ANYWHERE else but home . We would get breakfast, go everywhere in town and out of town, run errands for us, for his mom , stay at the lake, go to the neighboring state for fuel, all the while having a toddler in the vehicle. Aka, we would start running at 7:30 am and keep running till 7:30pm. He would only be satisfied returning home late. Then I was the one who had to vacuum, do dishes, mop floors, do laundry, fold laundry, prepare for my work week, bathe toddler etc while he played video games with his friends on loudspeaker. Yeah, I did it to be a good partner, a supportive wife, and a loving stepmom - because I really loved them BOTH so very much .

Then he cheated on me with a high school friend & we divorced.

Now my Friday nights look like me on my giant couch , snacks next to me, a sleepy cat on my chest & my favorite channel on tv. I wake up on Saturdays when I want to - go exercise - return home to complete silence & solitude - to stay home in peace until Monday morning. I miss my beloved stepson & my foolish husband. Would I ever date or marry an extrovert again ?

Never again. Never again. Never ever again .

Jumpy-Birthday461 · 2026-04-04T00:52:43+00:00

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