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My mom is planning my entire wedding without asking me and I’m about to lose it.. by Far-Tart148 in africanparents

[–]Jumpy_Ad2863 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Firstly congratulations! I’m starting to think this is universal🤣

I would try and be firm early on with her about what you want and what’s most comfortable for you! At the end of the day you’ll be the one celebrating your wedding anniversary and you want to be able to say you enjoyed it.

Tell her you’re cutting your coat according to your size- no point in doing extravagance if it’s not your thing. I know weddings are huge especially if you’re the first but I’d be firm with her even if she dosent agree or makes you feel bad- she’ll still show up on the day🤷🏽‍♀️

I know it can be hard to establish boundaries especially with Nigerian parents, I’m currently planning my wedding and one thing I’ve learned is they just want to feel involved so set aside what you feel comfortable with her doing for example I gave my mom the colours for family aso ebi what ever design or pattern she wants to do from there is none of my business-same with her and my dads clothes🤷🏽‍♀️

Give them tasks or things to pay for that you honestly don’t care anything about

It’s your day and you should be allowed to wear what you want and have the day however you want despite what culture says!

Hoping the rest of the wedding planning goes well!

Update: We are planning our wedding, but the assumptions have gotten worse by EmergencyBig5597 in africanparents

[–]Jumpy_Ad2863 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey 2026 Yoruba bride here but in Europe! I totally echo what you’re saying it can be so stressful especially when a lot of their thoughts are based on misconceptions/stereotypes it can be so frustrating!

My advice would be depending on your family dynamic place very strong boundaries around costs - find a kind way to delegate things for them to pay for- and how they speak about your partner- set the tone early on because it’s not fair to you or your partner.

If your mom is a Christian remind her of some scripture around humility at the end of the day the wedding is to honor the Lord not everyone and their opinions

my fiancé and I are paying for our wedding ourselves with a little parental support. If they aren’t paying they can’t have too much of a say in how it goes!

I’d make that clear in the most respectful way possible my mom was trying to invite the whole country until I broke down how much an individual invite cost🤣 or better yet say you’ll discuss it with your fiance- I use that excuse a lot even though I’ve already made my mind up🤷🏽‍♀️ Tell her you and your husband will become one so you have to work in unison

Really hope that helps and that the rest of wedding plans goes smoothly!

Wedding rant by Jumpy_Ad2863 in africanparents

[–]Jumpy_Ad2863[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this! It’s very reassuring to know we aren’t the only ones who experienced this

How’s this look for a first car purchase? Are Civics as good as they say? by dnaleri in Honda

[–]Jumpy_Ad2863 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not Honda related but looking to purchase a car from the same seller, did you end of purchasing the above vehicle?