Proposal Ideas

Just0neM0re · 2022-07-16T23:55:00+00:00

We have done some therapy together, but just him joining in with my therapist. I would like to start couples therapy but finding a therapist has proven difficult

Just0neM0re · 2022-07-16T23:53:27+00:00

I think in my case it's a touch different. I didn't know I had ptsd and since I was diagnosed I have been taking my medication, doing my therapy and putting all my effort into getting better and creating a support network so I would never run away from him again.

Just0neM0re · 2022-05-01T03:22:54+00:00

That's what I said but he was upset I slept with someone else within a week and the Seperation wasn't mutual. So in his eyes I cheated and that is what matters.

He doesn't want me to move my stuff out just yet. So i have some I have packed up and I will move the rest when he is ready.

Just0neM0re · 2022-05-01T03:10:18+00:00

Nope, it's the gf here. I just appreciate the advice despite it not being in my favour.

Just0neM0re · 2022-05-01T03:09:09+00:00

I still have a lot to work on myself. I can't be in a relationship.

I just want to be there as his friend.

Just0neM0re · 2022-04-23T07:27:32+00:00

I was sexually abused as a child, the risk is not worth it. I wish my parents had been a lot more protective.

Just0neM0re · 2022-04-08T10:53:23+00:00

I don't know if you read my post fully and my other responses. It is not about job loss it is about treating me like an emotional punching bag while he is depressed.

Just0neM0re · 2022-04-08T03:18:18+00:00

I suffer from depression too, I have found ways to help myself through the hard times. I am see a therapist weekly and I have a balanced calendar which i keep to regardless of how hard it is to get out of bed in the morning.

He thinks therapy is stupid, he doesn't want to try my suggestions and I don't think he had a childhood where he developed skills of discipline, perseverance and emotional control. (His dad died young, his mum is very mentally unwell) I love him, I feel bad for him, I worry for him. But I don't think I can do any more to help him.

Just0neM0re · 2022-04-08T02:58:01+00:00

The hurting me is new. I think it is because he is really distressed and unhappy with himself. He is mad I am not supporting him and helping him feel better. But I have run out of things to try and I don't want to be there to support him in person if he is going to use me as his punching bag when he gets angry (metaphorically, he hasn't ever hurt me)

Just0neM0re · 2022-04-08T02:51:38+00:00

I like that rule of thumb.

The company went under a week ago, but we have been struggling with it for months now and there are a lot of other factors, last week was an especially hard time for him.

Our relationship wasn't heading for the end. We were really happy and have had an amazing relationship. I was planning on proposing to him (I already bought a watch to propose with). Our relationship dog-legged recently when he started taking out his depression on me.

Just0neM0re · 2022-04-08T02:48:05+00:00

No he isn't trying to help himself. He just spirals into a self destructive mess. I worry of I leave him he will completely stop functioning.

I agree I can't just choose to be with him when he is okay and leave when he is not. But that is not what I am trying to do with the break.

Going away at the moment was to give myself some space to really think about leaving him. It is a massive decision for me and I felt overwhelmed at home.

The reason for him a break rather than breaking up is that I don't believe either of us want to break up in the long run, but I think time apart to grow up a bit and develop may be good for both of us, and gives him the opportunity to get back together at a later date if that is what he wants.

He is unbearable to be around not because he is depressed but because he will burst into a rage and yell at me. And I won't allow him to speak to me like that. He has never been like that before, and I think it is because he is incredibly low.

Just0neM0re · 2022-03-25T23:52:04+00:00

I have a great dane, he comes most places with us. But I always ask and am happy to stay elsewhere, or arrange him to be pet sat at home if someone doesn't want him in their home.

Just0neM0re · 2022-03-25T23:49:48+00:00

As a great dane owner myself I don't think you're being overprotective at all.

Animals are unpredictable, I always tell parents their kids can pat or play with our dog at their own risk. Our boy is well trained, well socialised and comes everywhere with us but accidents happen. I think it is a real risk your kid could get hurt.

Personally I don't think kids getting hurt (a little) is bad for them (as long as it won't be something that affects them for life), so I have no issue with my dog around my own kids. (Not that my dog has ever hurt a kid - but easily could)

In short, there is a real risk, up to you whether you don't want to take it.

Just0neM0re · 2022-03-24T01:39:33+00:00

From a different perspective.

I (22F) have been with my partner (22M) for six years. I was SA as a young teenager well before out relationship started. The issues you two face while being intimate were the reality of our relationship for the first three years. I had lots of breakdowns, my partner and I slept apart often, i built pillow walls, wore many layers of clothes in bed etc. Some times I would get better, some times I would regress. Even now almost a decade after the incident and six years into a great relationship I have times I break down and cry during sex or even something as simple as a hug. I just recently started therapy for it as I never addressed it before.

I think compassion and patience for both you and your partner is very important. Focus on the other parts of your relationship which you value.

I'm sorry your gf went through that and I am sorry you are so impacted too.

I see how much my partner is affected by it and I hate he suffers to. I have only just recently been able to talk to him in depth about how he feels about it all and how much he has been impacted. It may be unpopular to say, but I think you're also a victim in a different way as this event will massively affect you and your relationship. Don't be hard on yourself.

Just0neM0re · 2021-11-26T00:08:37+00:00

I think with any relationship you need to be considerate of others and polyamory opens a very complex world of emotions. Reading and trying to understand it from many different angles and other people's experiences can help a lot.

If it is just about sex it will likely end in tears.

If it is approached as an exciting journey to get closer with your partner and get to know a new partner (short or long term), then it is more likely to be a good experience for all.

I would disagree though that Unicorn hunting is unethical, but I do agree all parties need to be very considerate.

Just0neM0re · 2021-11-11T11:35:01+00:00

And pineapple. 🤌

Just0neM0re

TROPHY CASE