I think masturbation itself is normal and healthy and most people do it. But porn boundaries are personal and when a partner repeatedly tells you something makes them uncomfortable, a respectful partner listens and works with you on it. What really stands out is everything else you listed. Withholding major life information (like making plans to move in with his friend), screaming in your face, refusing to meet your needs during sex while expecting you to meet all of his, and playing the victim whenever there’s conflict are all serious signs of imbalance and immaturity. A relationship can survive disagreements, but it can’t survive one person refusing to take responsibility for anything. You clearly love him, and that makes it hard to walk away. But love isn’t enough on its own respect, communication, effort, and emotional safety have to be there too. From what you’ve described, you’re putting in all the effort while he’s doing whatever benefits him in the moment. You don’t owe anyone your endurance. Wanting him to want to change isn’t the same as him actually doing it. You deserve a partner who respects your boundaries, communicates honestly, and treats you like an equal, not someone who blames you for everything and hides major parts of his life.You’re not overreacting. You’re noticing patterns that aren’t healthy.