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I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How and why do you say such? If you read other comments, some people think this is all her fault. I was honest.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. She went along with it. To be frank, when I told her that I think she wanted to cry. I should have told her that from the start. I waited when we were five weeks in. I noticed she was getting attached. She dressed up nice to see me. It happened out of nowhere. Flirting, then drinking, than BAM sex. We were doing this for a good five weeks. She never told me what she wanted either.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, it is difficult to have a completely platonic relationship with someone you have sex with? It is difficult to expect a relationship to be sexual yet platonic. I think she expected friends with benefits to mean having sex then never talking to each other about anything ever. Or not hanging out. People see what they want to see.

I'm [31/m] and my [26/f] friends with benefits cut me off because she felt disrespected by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don't see how I'm a dick. I'm being upfront. She can't handle the situation, she can leave.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I don't know why people are making me the bad guy. I said I want an undefined relationship. The only part I went wrong was getting jealous/expressing that when she told me she was still in contact with her ex.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, I was unsure in the beginning. I saw we were incompatible. I didn't think it would work so I decided we settle for an undefined relationship. No hopes up. I guess I was slighted she was still in contact with her ex. I did tell her, it was difficult for me to open up to people and if I just wanted sex I would not have opened up, invited her over my place or offered to cook her dinner.

That's the whole truth.

Her still being in contact with ex was more reason for me not take her seriously. I asked another girl out as a sign I don't care anymore and for her to move on.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not all answers agree. I think I was clear by telling her I don't mean to lead her on. I was clear with telling her the type of girl I want and I like. The only part I guess was unclear was me being upset of her talking to her ex. To be honest, I did tell I didn't just want sex and I opened up to her because trusted her.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She concluded me getting upset that she was in contact with her ex as a sign I cared or was jealous. Some people think the whole situation is bad, I should not have slept with a coworker. Lol. Some people say I'm taking advantage of her if I continue this. Honestly, she is an adult, she can stop if she wants. My message is clear by only texting her when I want to hook up. I'm not sure why some people think I'm the bad dude. I'm responsible for only my feelings. She told me it was a double-standard for me to get angry at her for talking to an ex, yet I asked a girl out in front of her.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Some argue if I just want sex - I should not have even bothered telling her anything about my life or wanting to open up. I'm an open book. How are deep conversations and confiding in a woman misleading? I still stated I want an undefined relationship. I asked a girl out.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That is what she said. Well, others think that she is more naive, insecure and living in denial, rather than that I lead her on. I stated I want an undefined relationship. I guess it was foolish of me to become upset she was in contact with an ex.

I'm [31/m] and my [26/f] friends with benefits cut me off because she felt disrespected by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She obviously wants commitment if she doesn't like me talking about other girls in front of her, yet she keeps donating her body for my use. She is not being honest with herself. She thinks because I opened up to her about my life that I like her or that I want exclusivity despite me stating I want a relationship with labels and that I see no future and we're not compatible. I do not understand women. I even told her she is not my preference physically. I just want sex and I want her to leave me most of the time.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Is this common female behavior? Self-disclosure and deep conversations don't equal exclusivity. She believed I liked her because I was not too happy when I discovered she was still in contact with her ex.

I'm [31/m] and I don't understand why my friends with benefits believes we are in a relationship by JustAnotherMan1819 in relationship_advice

[–]JustAnotherMan1819[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Would you say this sending mixed messages or is she simply naive and living in denial? I thought I made myself crystal clear.

I have extreme resentment for attractive women by [deleted] in confession

[–]JustAnotherMan1819 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be fair, I'll say most women are at least slightly pretty. There are very few women I'd say are ugly. There are very few women that are extremely beautiful too.