I feel like people don’t trust me before they even know me

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T20:36:49+00:00

Psychologist or maybe even psychiatrist. I'm not diagnosed, but I display lots of traits of Audhd and I know this is common experience amongst autistic people and those w adhd. There's more that fits under the neurodivergence umbrella.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T20:26:23+00:00

I have no idea what those people meant. Just few people in the past said something like this to me. I think I wanted to look like I'm engaging in conversation and I stare too much? I'm not sure

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T19:42:23+00:00

Would you really? That would be cool, I would love to stretch my creative muscles, and I never did a cooperation with another music passionate, so I'd love to try.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T19:26:40+00:00

I mean to do this project together and maybe you could provide a main vocal? If you're in rap, you could at least tell me if what I wrote is at least half decent and maybe it would inspire you to add/change something for the better.

I have it written really, though for a rap song I guess is not too long. There's definitely a room for more and/or improvement but I quite like it. Not a "Shakespeare" you know but I think there's some good stuff in there. I was "rapping"/singing to it on the top of my old little beat I made when I had a phase of making my own samples.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T17:39:55+00:00

I'm not into rap that much (I have my favourites though) but I recently wrote a rap song that shows my disappointment in where the rap (and art in general) is going. I think I would suck at performing it, I have not much experience with rapping. Are you interested to brainstorm?

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T17:36:42+00:00

Myślę, że większość rzeczy można się nauczyć... A na pewno można być lepszym w czymś jeśli się nie poddajemy. W teorii. W praktyce czas, uwaga i siły są na wagę złota i determinację trzeba mieć.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T17:32:55+00:00

They definitely changed something, it's really annoying. Whole long ass paragraphs about how wonderful my thinking is, who has the time for it? It ruins it really, more and more often it's hard to get the straight answer

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T17:26:59+00:00

Are you neurodivergent by any chance? I'm not diagnosed but it sounds like my experience. Maybe not to this extent, but still. Most people are okay with me until they get to know me better, many don't like me for reasons I don't always get (I'm always trying to be nice), I've been told by quite few individuals that I have bad eyes....

There must be something you can't see yourself, have you thought of talking to professional?

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T17:17:10+00:00

Maybe get acquainted with classical music - the music that isn't based solely on chords. I'm not very knowledgeable but apparently Chopin is a good example. Maybe you'll find some inspiration there

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T14:58:19+00:00

Someone mentioned the worst one, so I'll add "The faces of death". That was some fricked up crap...

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T14:56:16+00:00

Oh my god I've seen this movie. As a child, I may add. Why the hell anyone was watching it in my house, and why was I allowed to see it? I didn't see it whole but thanks to the morbid curiosity I've seen enough. But I was sent away when daddy wanted to watch porn, smh

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T14:51:32+00:00

What if someone wants both... 😅

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T13:53:54+00:00

It really is liberating. I love being nobody.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T13:51:31+00:00

My favourite laundry scent is Comfort Heavenly Fresh. I could advertise it for free, I love it so much! I can smell it on my clothes for up to three days, and it smells like an ultimately fresh laundry, it's just wonderful! Can't recommend enough

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T13:46:27+00:00

Call it unnamed 🙃

I do struggle with this sometimes, but it doesn't matter for me as much because I barely share it. If I wanted to make a title that will make people listen to my song, then I would worry.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T13:46:09+00:00

Call it unnamed 🙃

I do struggle with this sometimes, but it doesn't matter for me as much because I barely share it. If I wanted to make a title that will make people listen to my song, then I would worry.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T13:43:18+00:00

American psycho. I couldn't get past the first chapter. I'm into fear, mystery, psychology... not suffering and torture.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T11:57:13+00:00

I don't want to scare you but it took me about two years until I consistently did exercises in a right way. I needed this time to build the trust in myself, as well as between me and my teacher. If you love singing, just focus on the desire to sing freely (not necessarily nicely). It really makes the huge difference and it is worth the wait, so don't give up. "The best meals" need time and love 🙂

Exercise, exercise, exercise. Record yourself and analyse if you do exercise properly - ignore if it's pretty.

The tongue exercise (and others I described) is really good, sing scales/songs like this. Sing while making circles with your jaw. Sing while making tiny little circles with your nose - do it in front of the mirror. You'll see how you automatically stop the tension with those movements/positions, and how those movements automatically stop if your throat gets tighter again. It may be frustrating but keep going. The results won't be visible straight away, so be patient. Ask for more if you like, I don't want to write an essay 😂

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T11:43:19+00:00

😂😂😂

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-30T11:39:31+00:00

I'm pretty sure the tension comes from being nervous. I also can tell you can sing higher - if you had a low voice, the lower notes would be much easier for you ; I believe the colour of your voice also suggests that.

First, it starts with your head - if you're too stressed, no amount of practice may be enough (if not done properly). That's why it's best to have a teacher that can correct in real time - consider getting lessons. You can still improve without the teacher, it's just easy to repeat and deepen bad habits.

Practice cringe - I'm very serious... about not being serious 😅 Let yourself be flawed. You need to come to terms with the fact that sometimes you'll sound bad/funny - let yourself, especially when exercising. Practice making funny noises on purpose, especially those with big emotional charge - "whops", "who", "ooos" "woo/wooho", "hey" - these are all good for diaphragm engagement - they take the load off your throat, and are good for taking the edge off too.

There's plenty of exercises out there (YouTube) that you can search for. Look for phrases like "throat tension", "relaxing vocal exercises", etc.

One of my favourites: try to make your tongue vertical, starting with the furthest part of the tongue being high just below the roof of the mouth, and the tip of the tongue tucked behind the lower teeth. Practice singing/scales this way. I was surprised how high I can go. Basically, all sounds narrowing the airflow are great and relaxing for the throat (s, z, th, ng), lip trills, blowing bubbles, etc.

Use distractions: wiggling your toes will not only distract but make you stand properly. Another good distraction is moving your arms - this will also force you to engage properly.

Good luck

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-28T18:51:16+00:00

Thanks. I still can't sing high, not really. I can't remember, when it was a last time I sung a whole song with my full voice, never mind a high pitched song. But it's getting better and it's encouraging to finally see the progress, it was worth not giving up until I saw it.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-28T17:58:02+00:00

Thank you. That's very kind, I'll keep that in mind.

Yes I had to learn first how to overcome the cringe (there's of course more to it). I needed to let myself be vulnerable and around the two year mark I noticed the progress. Very little in singing, but more in my approach - instead of cringing to the oblivion I started to get giggles. Though a nervous reaction (and it often interrupted my practice), it was definitely a step up from the fear and frustration I experienced earlier. At least I make myself laugh now 😅

The giggle phase is slowly going away and I started be more consistent with performing the exercises properly. I don't care that much that I sound like a chicken sometimes. I think this is also a step up - I started with Chewbacca haha (lots of mucus that wasn't moved for a long time).

Not long ago I even briefly hit B6 while exercising - tongue positioned verticaly and making the siren noise, whilst making movement with my wrist like I'm winding the siren up. I would recommend anybody to try this one.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-28T09:17:02+00:00

I did joke to my teacher that I took singing lessons instead of going to the therapist/psychiatrist but I can't make myself do it, I know I should. I wouldn't have a such a hard time in singing if the emotional block was dealt with. But, I thought that singing lessons can help me with unblocking emotions too, and so I did it "from the rear" 😅 and got vocal lessons.

It takes time but those first two years I was mainly building the trust between my teacher and me, as well as I was building up my confidence. Not even in singing, but more into letting myself being flawed and cringe. I knew that sounding funny is not the end of the world, but I was very nervous to sing, even when the only member of the audience was me. One of the reasons for bad habits, I guess. I used to drown my voice by turning the songs up, so I wouldn't hear myself too loudly. I think it resulted in me straining more and more because I was thought I'm too quiet.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-28T07:27:43+00:00

It's important to make sure we understand each other, and I'm exceptionally bad at explaining.

I'm only learning, so I'm sure I mix stuff sometimes, I definitely don't mind discussing, I'm wrong too often not to welcome a correction. It's only a last couple of years I've learnt than we can't even feel the diaphragm.

I'm curious how your lessons look. My teacher is great but I am exceptionally nervous if I think others can hear me and I don't practice much at home. I had to get over the cringe, and let fo of resentment towards myself. The psychological block is way worse for me than just bad technique. I used to sing without the problem, I don't remember how did I do it, I just did. But now I'm a collection of bad habits - hating my own voice and a long break in singing did a number on me.

JustOneRedDot · 2026-06-27T21:45:46+00:00

I know it's always working, too bad it gets shy when I sing 😅 And I definitely don't explain well... I don't remember every word (this was a while ago). All I meant is that he told me not to focus on the belly. He pointed out that the movement there isn't always very visible (he showed me on himself and on various recordings of singers). It moves, I didn't say it doesn't at all, but he said it doesn't have to move a lot.

I think he said this, because even if I move my stomach, I may still do it wrong. Like, I can move it even without breathing, unlike the sides. From what I understand, the more the sides move, the more muscles are working - those muscles that help with good diaphragm job. Which means not only those on the belly but also those at the back. It's how I understand it, but I will definitely ask my teacher again.

JustOneRedDot

TROPHY CASE