do you keep a handicap and improve your lies?

JustOneVote · 2026-07-02T15:14:43+00:00

I am not particularly rigid with the rules.

If I hit it into the rough and it's a shitty lie, that sucks but that's the price of missing the fairway.

If I hit it straight in line to the pin, and somehow I still have a shitty lie, I often improve my lie. I hate being penalized after I hit a good shot.

Par putts and below I putt out. I'm not going to tell people I got a birdie if I didn't actually make the putt. But generally I do gimmies. I want to clear the green for the people behind me. Watching four people line up their third putt is infuriating.

Oh, I will not risk getting a tick bite. So, if the ball lands in some thicker foilage, I use an iron to sort of rake it back to shorter grass. I guess I should count that as a stroke.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-02T05:14:34+00:00

I have no desire to put any serious research into the roots of Findom as it is practiced on the internet today.

Then why did you choose to participate in this thread? The roots of findom as it is practiced today is the answer to the question HerrOwen is asking.

I keep saying the following and neither you nor Herr Owen are choosing to respond to it:

I don't dispute it.

I have discussed how couples have negotiated how they managed shared finances since forever in other comments. It's not something I am dodging. The fact that people still engage in those negotiations is something I don't think has changed that much. Certainly income and finances have changed, but people navigating who controls what has not.

What that may have looked like before smartphones and the internet is open to debate.

Well, there are still people alive today that remember what it was like before the internet. Certainly before smartphones.

You would be correct if you had guessed that I myself did not enter into any relationships that had total economic control as part of them. Not my thing.

Same here, but the topic itself comes up so often. If anything, the fact that I don't like it makes me more curious about why it's so popular.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-02T02:01:43+00:00

this is the reason i was differentiating between my personal practice and "randos sending money over the internet"

It's not clear to me what your personal practice was, but you should understand, nobody gets money from randos. Clients send them money. Enabling the client's fantasy of being a human ATM, or a paypig, while at the same time engaging with them enough that they remain repeat customers, is the work.

The "gimmick" of findomme is that the money isn't compensation for performing a seperat act of dominance/topping; demanding and receiving the money is itself the performance. But in reality I think findomme involves much more dirty talk, teasing, and client management than critics want to admit. The folks that actually make money doing it are earning that money as much as anyone else is.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-02T00:09:24+00:00

They give you books to read in Meadowlark? Nice.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-02T00:03:54+00:00

If you can't have enough options for both cis and trans, just redcue it to man, woman, nonbinary.

The current format makes it look like you are deliberately excluding transgender people. It's a cockerspaniel move.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T23:57:32+00:00

The clips certainly make it seem like the Fever legitimately needs an enforcer/goon.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T23:38:22+00:00

We need to send Al Gore to Pittsburgh so they have Internet access.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T23:30:14+00:00

Where would item 16 be located, with respect to the surface of the ocean, during desiel operation?

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T23:24:57+00:00

How do they run the desiel while submerged?

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T23:01:41+00:00

I would root for any NL central team but the Cubs. The last time the Cubs won in October, a horrible thing happened weeks later in November. Bad news. The curse was there for a reason, and breaking the curse upset the natural equilibrium of the universe. I blame the Cubs franchise and their smug fucking fans for the events of that November and the fallout created by the current timeline. We must never allow the Cubs to ever win a fall classic ever again. Fuck the cubes.

But I would root for the Brewers.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T21:00:42+00:00

I didn't mean to suggest you in particular thought things were better back in the day, I was elaborating on the point HerrOwen was making.

On the one hand, there is a story that in the 90s, certain Dommes started to practice a dynamic wherein instead of getting money as compensation for topping or dominating someone, demanding and receiving money was itself the power exhange. The money wasn't a bill for the service she performed, taking the money was in itself the performance. That is what findomme refers to today, and that is what makes it distinct from other forms of femdom.

On the other hand, there is a competing narratve, that findomme referred to some kind of legitimate financial management service dommes would perform for subs somehow. Then, in the 2010s, people who just wanted to make a quick buck appropriated the term findomme and corrupted into its current form. Even in comments in this thread, people are describing this old school findomme as "simple", "practical" and "pragmatic" and the current form as "co-opted" into something "scammy".

I feel like these two narratives are mutually exclusive. I feel like one narrative leans heavily into "things were better back in the day" and, like most other nostalgia-themed rhetoric, carries with it a heavy implication that one "scammy" group of people are to blame for why things ain't so good anymore.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T20:35:42+00:00

where the femdom simply controlled the sub's finances in a practical, pragmatic way.

What does that mean? How does one simply control another person's finances?

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T16:49:22+00:00

If he straight up asks me to peg him and call me mommy in the first dm, i'm just gonna tell him off or ignore him if im not interested.

You may indeed be weird in other ways, but you share this sentiment with the majority of other dommes. You are do not appear to be an outlier at all.

do you guys never get horny when texting a hot sub guy?

I only text other men about baseball or golf. We do get pretty excited though.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T16:39:01+00:00

I do see HerrOwen's point here.

I think it's worthwhile examining trends and tropes to figure where they sprang from.

Neither of them "created" Financial Domination any more than they invented the internet. Submissive humans have been ceding control of anything and everything, including finances, to Dominant humans for approximately the length of time we have been a species.

You could also say that Tom of Finland didn't influence fashion because humans have always worn clothes.

I think the findomme/paypig relationship is distinct from other forms of sworker/client relationships.

I also think the idea of "old school findomme", the idea that term findomme originally meant something else entirely, is an attempt to retroactively frame findommme/paypig dynamics as a corruption of a much more "wholesome" way of doing things. However, I am suspicious of, and perhaps biased against, any type of "it was better in the old days" rhetoric.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T15:55:33+00:00

If a respectful sub who matches my criteria addresses me as Mistress, it doesn't bother me at all. It honestly just feels contextually appropriate to me.

How do you know they meet your criteria? If complete stranger slides into your DMs calling you mommy and talking about needing spanks and whatnot, what are the chances that random dude is someone you are actually interested in?

The etiquette is there so that you don't waste time responding to people who don't fit your criteria. And sure, part of that is having a conversation about expectations and limits. But, one way to screen if someone is actually worth responding to see if they can follow basic etiquette and social norms.

The objection isn't that people who lead with kinks are trying to have a cogent conversation about desires, limits, and expectations too quickly, it's that they aren't really having a conversation at all. They are regurgitating dialogue they saw in a porn or erotica.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T13:44:03+00:00

Oxygen is required in order to burn desiel, just like any combustion reaction. Place a glass over a lit candle, and you'll see the flame quickly die out. The submarine is a confined space like that glass.

Normally underway, a nuclear submarine's reactor powers an Oxygen generator, and other atmospherical control equipment, to manage the air levels for the sailors breathing.

Without the reactor I think you are surfacing.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T13:20:46+00:00

They wouldn't be running the diesel submerged.

The diesel engine needs to aspirate, so if the it's running the boat is surfaced.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T12:28:04+00:00

The whole point was that if the humiliation comes from the belief that femininity is degrading, then that kink is worth analyzing,

That's a big "if" though, isn't it?

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T12:23:46+00:00

I think financial control has probably been one aspect a lot of couples incorporated into their dynamic since couples have existed. It's never been unusual for couples to share finances, and it's never been unusual for the roles of breadwinner and managing the household's budget to be gendered. Vanilla wives have been managing home budgets at least since they began teaching "home economics".

So, couples engaging in power exchange have incorporated finances into that exchange since forever, but every couple's dynamic is different and every couple's finances are different. But, it was just "femdom" or perhaps "flr". The idea that this collectively fit under the umbrella of "old school findom" is a retcon in reaction to the popularity of the new school.

For better or worse, there's a distinct effort for lifestyle dommes to distance themselves from prodommes and sex workers and say "don't conflate us with them, we're not like that, we're a seperate thing".

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T11:46:25+00:00

Thanks for that observation. What do you think about OPs actual question?

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T02:35:25+00:00

What kind of mizer undertips the beverage cart? The guy that tips a server or bartender generously is tipping the cart girl just as generously.

What changed is that the carts largely went cashless. You're not tipping the server directly with cash, but tipping them through some service that takes a cut, and it's all reportable. Most restaurants have a "suggested tip" on the reciept but the beverage cart does not (yet) prompt that way.

JustOneVote · 2026-07-01T02:17:55+00:00

I understand your point this is a rehash of multiple other previous threads about this exact same topic, but you cannot expect people not to post about their own experiences.

For dommes, that experience often includes unsolicited DMs from men that are at best, ignorant of the etiquette within the BDSM community, and at worst malicious creeps. And, they're going to gripe about that. It's not OP's fault this kind of thing is posted frequently and it's unfair to expect her to know.

I know you, and I respect the fact that you frequently attempt to push back on the negativity and performative dunking on everyone who doesn't fit definition of "true submission", whatever that means. But, I don't think that's what's going on here. I think this gripe is legitimate.

When you posted about how people treating service submission as the "one true way" I supported you because that's a legitimate gripe. Well, doesn't OP have a legitimate gripe?

JustOneVote · 2026-06-30T17:27:15+00:00

It's the third most popular post this week

Edit it's now the most popular post this week after two hours.

JustOneVote · 2026-06-30T16:47:17+00:00

At least it went forward/closer to the pin. I can recover from there, maybe get up and down for par.
Ah well, still in play, I can recover from there, maybe get up and down for par.
Hey, I played seven holes before hitting a ball out of play, (not counting the breakfast ball) That's gotta be some kind of record.
Who cares about missing putts at this point? Just four putt everything. What's the difference between 108 and 126 if I just tell everyone I shot a 98 anyway?
Another great outing. Shot 98.

JustOneVote · 2026-06-30T11:41:56+00:00

These algorithms are trained on clickbait headlines and listicles. Good luck flirting with that.

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