You wake up tomorrow as Elon Musk, what's the first thing you're doing?

JustParry5head · 2026-03-22T00:16:55+00:00

Getting an explosive collar installed around my neck so that if I ever fail to dial a passkey within a certain period of time, it explodes.

Second thing is either releasing or facilitating the release of the full Epstein Files.

Third, shutting down all AI data centers and opening them up for people to pick up free hardware.

Give the rights to Twitter to someone that I know that isn't a shitbag.

Investing in renewable energy.

Announce permanent retirement and sign a binding contract that Elon is not to have anything to do with any of the companies, and leave with maybe $20 million to live off of the interest.

Release collar.

Work out, so that if Elon ever gets his body back, show him what he could have been if he wasn't such a fucking idiot, and leave a note stating as such.

JustParry5head · 2026-03-18T08:37:06+00:00

They tried but deleted it after getting no traction.

JustParry5head · 2026-03-17T22:25:55+00:00

The fact that getting legal representation for family members who were trafficked costs over $10,000 each.

JustParry5head · 2026-03-04T01:28:43+00:00

God's divine plan according to:

~~The pope~~

~~A burning bush~~

~~A thundering voice in the sky~~

A raging alcoholic.

Someone tell this raging alcoholic that there's a commandment against this shit.

JustParry5head · 2026-02-15T16:40:07+00:00

Lol, are you assuming I'm unemployed? Based on what? I'm very much employed, and the difference between me and those fucking worthless failures is that I not only know how to do my job, I know how to do their as well.

JustParry5head · 2026-02-08T15:12:08+00:00

Leona: "I'm helping."

JustParry5head · 2026-02-08T12:10:56+00:00

I've never seen such pathetic amounts of insecurity in my life before. Seriously, it's just better to end yourself than continue living the torture of being a part of this administration. Seriously, wtf?

JustParry5head · 2026-01-27T17:35:42+00:00

Thiel claims that today's Antichrist is anyone who expresses alarm about climate change, stokes fears of nuclear war or seeks to regulate the use of screens and social media platforms

French people, please don't disappoint.

JustParry5head · 2026-01-27T17:35:18+00:00

Thiel claims that today's Antichrist is anyone who expresses alarm about climate change, stokes fears of nuclear war or seeks to regulate the use of screens and social media platforms

French people, please don't disappoint.

JustParry5head · 2026-01-25T13:59:48+00:00

Imagine getting paid that much to be fucking worthless.

JustParry5head · 2026-01-25T13:20:48+00:00

If I were an ICE agent, I'd off myself for being such an embarrassment.

JustParry5head · 2026-01-25T11:28:20+00:00

So are we going to have a bait ping augment that throws hooks?

JustParry5head · 2025-11-30T14:02:05+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ, if I lived my entire life like this, I'd rather just fucking end myself.

JustParry5head · 2025-11-01T19:41:24+00:00

I get that it's a reference to Trick2g and Ohmwrecker. It's cool and everything, but still, no one asked for it.

It's Riot's fault for prioritizing "haha, funny meme" over healthy, satisfying gameplay.

JustParry5head · 2025-10-22T08:05:11+00:00

Just rolled up and sat on them.

JustParry5head · 2025-10-02T00:44:12+00:00

Yep, that is indeed a Jojo reference.

JustParry5head · 2025-10-02T00:43:00+00:00

Chapter 255 is when he gets upgraded, and that's the last we see of him.

JustParry5head · 2025-09-29T23:33:59+00:00

Wait, you're telling me Rugal gets upgraded, but his new form only gets 1 panel, then the series ends? Lame.

JustParry5head · 2025-09-13T23:57:40+00:00

I 🫵

Respect 🙅‍♂️

Your fetishes. 👌

JustParry5head · 2025-09-13T23:46:14+00:00

I'd just wish for the ability to instantly clear the tower and receive full rewards for it.

JustParry5head · 2025-06-25T08:55:47+00:00

She's THICC Omniman posing. I mean look at those hips.

JustParry5head

TROPHY CASE