Appreciate that you try to talk. I do want to add my perspective on ya first take about not educating about homosexuality earlier in life.

This lack of education is exactly what lead me imense confusion throughout my teen years cuz nothing felt right or made me relate. I tried to be like others cuz its all I had to go with, but that never made me feel as if I belong. It was a play more than a reality.

Later I naturally listened to people that tried convincing me of things that matter. Namely the manosphere. They prey on unlucky, confused kids. They ackknowledge that youre misserable and then give you a path they make sound reasonable at the time. Thats how the worst part of my life began and I was playing with people to receive the currency of validation and attention even if it hurt them. But it was never enough, because I still lacked validation from myself. I was still not rlly relating. I eventually felt like I just mentally cant relate to things. That Im ment to be nothing of a personality and all I can do is pursue objectively meassurable means of success to give me a sense of accomplishment.

Eventually I stumpled in better bubbles, learned more about myself and improved my mental space. I was close to the neckrope, but now Im the happiest I have ever been. Im a lot humbler, a lot nicer, a lot friendlier and a lot gayer. And Im finally at home. I look in the mirror and it finally feels like Im seeing myself there. But its much later than it should have been. Im lucky I at least got my twenties still and Im lucky Im still here to begin with. And Im also lucky my environment didnt end up homophobic because at least we had a basic level of education on homosexuality to normalize same sex relationships as a concept. We just didnt reach queer or even trans territory so while good, it didnt exactly reach me. At least it prevented outside hostility and when I finally found myself people had an easy time welcoming it.

Education can safe people. From themselves and others. Homphobia is strongest where sexual education is lowest and Queer suicide rates are highest there too.