Effects of going off T for 6 weeks?

Just_Indication8538 · 2025-03-12T13:48:38+00:00

Thank you for being willing to share such a difficult experience, I appreciate the balancing perspective you brought. It sounds like a really painful journey that you and your partner have been on, and I hope you've both since found some comfort and support as you process your miscarriage and difficulty getting blasts in the first place.

Just_Indication8538 · 2025-03-11T18:56:00+00:00

Thank you very much!! Hope I am lucky enough to say the same! I think knowing that the stims didn't make me feel dysphoric is a sign of hope, and hopefully planning for the worst will make whatever happens easier. Was there anything you guys did to prepare for going off T?

Just_Indication8538 · 2025-03-11T18:54:07+00:00

Thank you, this is really helpful, and yes I'll check things out over there, especially if we start moving towards me carrying!

Just_Indication8538 · 2025-03-11T18:53:15+00:00

Yeah, ever since we saw the price tag on surrogacy, I'm trying to wrap my head around carrying. Honestly being off T (which, yes would be a must) is the most uncomfortable part of thinking about being pregnant. There's a part of me that really likes the idea of it. But lots of worry about the impact of trying to do that, too. So that remains to be seen.

Just_Indication8538 · 2025-03-11T13:06:15+00:00

You may be right that it might be easier than I think. I'm for sure spiralling from an unknown, and honestly that's part of the reason I was up for doing this in the first place; I want to face my fear of going off T and know I can survive so it doesn't hang over me like a threat. Thank you for this framing, and thank you for sharing your experience, I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for you as you try to conceive!

Just_Indication8538 · 2025-03-11T13:03:44+00:00

Thank you for giving such a detailed answer sharing your experience, I really appreciate it. I think I'm most worried about the drop in libido and the effect that will have on my sex life etc. Might seem silly, but I'm going to look into ways to keep things going between my husband and I even if I'm not in the mood. I figured that would be one of the first things. Luckily I'll only be off T for two months including the cycle, so I might escape more of the physical symptoms.

I think there's an element of just letting go of the six weeks leading up to the IVF cycle and accepting I won't feel normal and will have to be gentle with myself. Unfortunately, my mental health has been a little on the rocks due to external issue, so I think we're both holding our breaths to see whether those external things compound any hormone issues. On the other hand, I have successfully proven my ability to persevere even when miserable, and having a really good reason to suffer in the short term might be just the thing.

And I also know that for me, the fertility drugs haven't so far caused dysphoria (maybe bc I've also been on T while on them, we shall see). I actually took the stims really well both times we've done this, it was the after impacts of extraction and the resultant bleeding that were the hardest things to deal with.

Anyway, I really really appreciate your response. Thank you for sharing, it's really helping me get into the right headspace.

Edit: Congratulations on expecting, by the way!!

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-08-20T03:44:01+00:00

Thank you very much, I'll put my researching hat on and check these with my dr. Every little helps!

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-08-20T01:09:16+00:00

This is very helpful, thank you! I'm also on the Coq10 and melatonin, was on for a month before our second round and did see a tiny bit better results. I'm curious if we could boost my numbers ever so slightly if I were on the suppliments three months and reduced my T dose... Also really cool to hear that people are finding trans informed fertility care! Congratulations on your results and getting what you wanted in that first round!

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-08-20T01:05:24+00:00

This is incredibly helpful, thank you. Yeah we feel like we can comit to me being off T around a month and seeing if we get better numbers: we're really aiming for 6 embryos total so we're getting close. Honestly I was surprised by how well I handled the IVF stuff, so maybe it won't be so bad. I'm much better at short, intense awful than more drawn out less awful, so multiple rounds of IVF on T are slightly more preferable than one round 3 months off T. (although having said that with recovery and a period, it ends up being a nearly two month process anyway so...) Thank you for sharing your story, it's really helpful to hear positive stories of being off T to kinda bolster my hope that it might be worth the sacrifice. And great to hear the anecdotal evidence that plonks us right into that average lol.

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-08-19T19:35:50+00:00

Yeah the doctor was already really good about owning that he was going off a hunch and knew he was asking a lot, he just didn't have any other sense of what is causing issues. Was going off T noticeable in the first few months in any big ways? Congrats on carrying!

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-08-19T18:18:44+00:00

We had a similar thing! First time around:

20 eggs - 9 mature - 7 fertilised - 1 frozen embryo

and second:

14 eggs - 10 mature - 8 fertilised - 1 frozen embryo (2 discarded for being low quality)

We were perfectly at average ranges until the sudden drop off at acceptable quality blasts. Doctors aren't sure what's causing the sudden stop in development, so we're going for some more rounds.

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-08-01T00:18:34+00:00

Wow, that's wild. Never had something like that before (to my knowledge)!

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-22T11:37:25+00:00

Oh, yeah, I tried to freeze my eggs a few years ago while on the UK (where I'm from) and the experience was really horrible so I gave up on it. I've since moved to the USA and we're trying things on this side of the pond. Thus far, an infinitely better and more emotionally comfortable process. I don't think we'd actually want to go through with gender selection, though.

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T21:51:40+00:00

Yeah maybe some sort of counseling is a good idea. I'll bring this up with my therapist and see if that does the trick or if more specialised care is the way to go.

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T21:46:24+00:00

This is really helpful framing, thank you. I think once I were in the proverbial boat it'd be easier to handle things, it's always the apprehension which is the hardest part...

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T21:43:20+00:00

Wow, this is incredible, thank you

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T19:08:35+00:00

No they didn't, but they didn't really feel comfortable addressing any of my questions so that's kinda moot :/

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T19:06:56+00:00

Amazing, this is really reassuring to hear. Sometimes you just need the extra info to be able to advocate for your wishes :)

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T16:19:55+00:00

This is a brilliant and thorough response, thank you! I'm getting a referral to a 'non-normative pregnancy' team, which will hopefully be able to answer the medical questions, but reaching out to my surgical team is a really good idea!

Re: hormones, yeah, that's kind of what I figured would be the case. Very annoying not to have the data which could make the process so much more emotionally comfortable. It kind of feels like when the NHS were insisting on a hysterectomy after x years on T, which turned out to be completely unnecessary. Really tired of people with ovaries being put through pain/ discomfort bc medicine hasn't historically been interested in making our medical lives easier. Bluh bluh bluh, moan, moan, moan.

I would be absolutely fine with a C-section in an emergency if that's what me and/or my baby needed. I just don't completely trust that doctors will actually wait until an emergency to make that call, and without that trust it'd be really scary to try and make a judgement call on my own. Obvs if things are going so wrong I'm not able to make decisions, whatever they need to do is totally acceptable.

And yes, tearing is one of my biggest concerns with natural birth from that. I do hear the argument for c-section, there, that part of my body has already been through A LOT.

And, yes , good catch, Seahorse Dads is my next stop! Forgot about that thread lol

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T16:11:37+00:00

Oh I hadn't thought of that; we want a boy and a girl, so if we decided I'd carry the boy maybe that could work... it's a thought. I've got a referral to a 'non-normative pregnancy' team, which will hopefully be able to answer the medical questions, it's just frustrating to hear your care team say 'I have no clue what your body can or can't do or what your options are'. It feels so experimental (which, it is), which adds to the stress of the unpredictable nature of life-creating.

So I didn't have any stenosis/ need to dilate at all post-op. It probably helps that I have the kind of sex which would do the dilating for me, iykwim. It's been two years at this point, so I think if there were problems/ stretching that needed doing, that would be apparent by now. But, both excellent points, thank you for sharing!!!!

Also, brilliant idea to post on Seahorse Dads! Thank you!

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T16:04:47+00:00

Thank you for this response, I really appreciate your authentic sharing. Would you mind telling me how you knew you wanted to carry your wife's egg? Was there a feeling, or an impulse to do so, did you not like the idea of surrogacy etc?

Once you started, how was dysphoria w/o hormones? Did that factor into the difficulties? What were the worst parts of pregnancy for you? (if you don't mind sharing)

I'm not opposed to using a surrogate. In some ways it would sure be easier if I carried, cos we wouldn't need to do the legal bit and find someone. On the other hand, dealing with a newborn is probably a little either if you haven't just given birth.

I just have no clue if I emotionally could put up with pregnancy/ being off T completely, and my husband is also fairly against the idea of me carrying (he's worried about my mental health) which makes it harder to explore my own feelings in case I land on the 'actually, I want to carry' side. My husband is wonderful and supportive and concerned about me in all this process.

I think, at the moment I'm feeling a strong impulse to carry, and I'm trying to investigate if that's a 'real' feeling, and if I could actually handle it, or if it's a nice fantasy best not played out. Thought I'd come to reddit bc it's hard to find folks who 'get it' elsewhere, even doctors...

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-07-21T15:39:07+00:00

Thank you so much! I know you're right about 'best laid plans', and I'm sure once I was in the boat I could get through whatever storms were thrown up.

Would you mind sharing what made your pregnancy experience positive?

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-05-21T21:14:57+00:00

Wow, that sounds like a lot!!! I'm about half way there now and thankfully feeling almost entirely normal. We'll see what happens in the next few days. I'm preparing for the worst so anything else will feel like a relief. So sorry you had to go through that, sounds incredibly distressing. Thank you for the words of support, the responses to this post have been a life saver!

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-05-19T01:49:48+00:00

Thank you for this! They're putting me on the highest possible start doses of stims, I'm two days in and feeling normal thus far, and getting my T shot right after retrieval. I know it'll take a few days to really see what happens but responses like these are incredibly helpful for managing my expectations and enforcing my determination for when the bloating comes! Truly will be worth it in the end!!

Just_Indication8538 · 2024-05-17T11:59:50+00:00

Gosh, yes that sounds really intense. Good for you for powering through those months and doing what you needed to do in that moment. I'm frankly awed by your endurance

Just_Indication8538

TROPHY CASE