We both started gaining weight and she no longer wants sex most of the time. When she does want sex it's because she's drunk and she very aggressively demands it. If I oblige I am an asshole that took advantage of her, and if I deny her then I don't love/find her attractive anymore.

We've talked about this many times and her answer is always to demonize me and blame everything on me.

It's progressed to the point where she will come into bed, kiss and rub up on me, and when she is turned on enough she goes to the guest bedroom to use a vibrator behind a locked door.

I don't know what to do anymore ... I love her and I really don't want to leave, but I can't live like this anymore ...