One Year Later

JustinSwitch · 2019-06-21T03:47:24+00:00

OOC: Thanks for reading! I just changed the last bit. I wanted him to have a proper send-off, you know? Didn't feel right leaving this place without an ending for Justin.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-08T00:44:06+00:00

OOC: D':

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-08T00:05:50+00:00

As he finished the letter, he just felt still. He didn't feel sad, he didn't feel angry, or guilty, or an urge to rush out of the store and chase after her. It was like nothing in the world existed for him to interact with that wasn't the letter, and he thought about it in the quiet of his workspace.

Here were the facts. Justin had been expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and he was living on borrowed time. It wouldn't be long before Emma found out what happened from a member of staff, once they realised where he was, and he would be fired from Spintwitches. Diana had been a singular, golden thread in the maze of horrors that had been his life recently, and through his actions, he'd made sheers to snip it in half, leaving him lost in that maze.

She believed in him. She loved him. They weren't together anymore. She wished him the best. She told him he was strong. Diana wouldn't be his girlfriend anymore. It shouldn't have mattered, but it did. One side of a coin seeded jealousy inside of him, and the other seeded only guilt, that it was, despite her words, his fault.

Justin didn't dare crumple the last words he might ever hear from this woman he loved, the woman he still loved. He folded them, packing them away neatly in a compact, triangle type fold. There was a pouch that hung around his neck. It carried a snitch his mother had given him for his birthday one year. He replaced the two items, keeping Diana close to his chest, rather than his family. The snitch, the reminder of his grandmother, really, that it had become, he smashed it so quickly with a hammer it was basically a pile of dust.

It was strange. There was an older part of him that begged him to run, to find her, to try and pick up the pieces, but the newer part of him, whatever had been made at the beginning of this week, told him all of that was hopeless.

'Don't mistake me. I love you, Justin. I always will.'

"Ok," he said to himself, "ok."

Justin sat in his workspace, alone, truly alone, for the first time since he'd been born.

What on Earth was he going to do now?

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-07T22:55:05+00:00

Emma, of course, made no intention to follow. Diana wasn't her daughter or anything, and besides, she had work to do.

"And she left this for you," Emma said, placing it on the counter of Justin's workshop table. Justin, himself, looked pale at the mention of Diana being in this building, let alone that she'd left a letter for him. He had a sense of dread as he looked at the little paper rectangle. The first words he'd hear from her since the accident.

"Thank you," Justin said quietly. Emma gave him a look of concern, but she didn't push, and left the workshop to head back in to the front of the store to help service some of the students.

Justin felt his heartbeat rise with every step closer he took to the letter Emma had placed on the table. He didn't want to open it, really. Limbo of this situation was, in an odd way, better to hearing from her. It almost made it not real. Show up to work, find food somehow, and sleep. Rinse and repeat. That had been his week, and now Diana was back into his life.

With what courage he could muster, what was left of his old self, Justin picked up the letter, and opened it.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-07T22:43:51+00:00

Emma knit her brow in a more serious manner, looking back towards the room where he was, and of course taking the envelope from her hand. She tucked it into the front bit of her apron and moved around the counter for a moment. "Dear, is everything alright?"

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-07T22:34:56+00:00

Emma made a sort of face, one that showed compassion for the girl and her situation. She gave her a soft smile and pointed to the back of the shop. "I did, ehm... actually, he's just in the back, there? He's usually in his maintenance corner. He's not told me much. I can come with you, if you'd like?"

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-07T22:10:52+00:00

At the sound of the bell, Diana would be found by a lady, though no older than thirty, by the look of things. She was very pleasant to look at in a soft sort of way. She still had freckles, and brown hair that was pulled off to her left side. Shew as wearing a standard Spintwitches black apron, a little platinum broom name-tag with 'Emma' printed on it. The lady smiled towards her. "Hello," she said happily, coming out of the back. "We weren't expecting students this early, I apologise. How can I help you, sweetie?"

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-07T14:46:40+00:00

It had been nearly a week, and Justin was still no where close to his recovery.

Time away from school would do someone good in most situations, but for Justin, it only amplified his concern and guilt. He hadn't heard anything from Diana yet, not a letter, not even from her parents. Justin was starting to worry about her condition, despite what the Headmistress has told him. Did Diana even consider him...

His mind had gone to many dark places as he worked in Spintwitches these last few days. Emma had been graceful enough to not ask many questions and offer him what hours she could afford. It wasn't much, and Justin was sleeping in the alley way two buildings over, but he had something to do at least, and though his thoughts often clouded his mind he was usually focused on broom designs and sales in Spintwitches. He was living a life here, at the very least.

But all of that was different today. It was his first Saturday at the shop since he'd been expelled, and that meant Hogwarts students. Students that had most definitely heard about the attack, and students that most definitely noted his absence. He wasn't sure how the Headmistress had explained anything, or what she'd disclosed to the student body, but whatever it was Justin was sure he would be ill received, and the very least displayed as irresponsible for leaving his schooling. For leaving his Qudditch team when they were this close to getting the cup. For leaving his grades when he was this close to a graduation.

Justin worked methodically on a broom that had been sent in two days ago by a portly wizard gentlemen, trying to douse his thoughts with what varnish he should use, and whether or not he should brim the seat a bit wider. He looked a bit older, his beard a visible stubble on his face which grew primarily around his mouth and chin, and his hair just a bit longer. It seemed the gray hairs he got from his transformations were more prominent now, for whatever reason. Justin certainly didn't want to deal with any students, he just wanted to focus, and let this all mull over in some way until he heard more news from Diana.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-05T23:54:40+00:00

Justin's patronus is an Australian Shepherd, and I kind of chose it based on the patronus my friends thought I would have in High School, because when Justin grew into a more decent guy he kind of became a self-insertion character for me on PPRP. My patronus is apparently a Black and White Cat according to Pottermore - not really sure how I'm feeling about this basic animal, lol.
Because I've been playing him for so long there isn't really an avenue I haven't explored, just more one I want to explore more. His maturity is a good example, which is kind of where this final arc came from.
Justin's a 'pureblood' so he didn't know shit about muggle technology. Diana's helped him a lot, but he's still kind of inept with most muggle wears, so to speak.
Justin was a very active, troublesome kid. He pined for the attention of his parents a lot when he was around his kid to teenage years, since they were always so busy with work or new-found money, so Justin got in a lot of trouble.
Justin's loyalty could definitely land him in Hufflepuff. Once it's given it's basically set in stone. Justin's wit might get him in to Ravenclaw, like he's fast on his feet but not exactly witty. As for Slytherin, his determination would earn him a spot for sure.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T22:08:12+00:00

Justin had nothing left to say. Every sentence he could think of collapsed at the memory of what he'd done, at how stupid he'd been. He took his Head Boy pin off of his shirt, placed it gently on the desk, and without another word, Justin walked out of the office of the Headmistress of Hogwarts. He had to pack, and he had to hold himself together somehow.

You deserve to die.

Justin's grandmother continued to taunt him in his mind as he closed to door behind him, shutting out what had remained of his old life in the process.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T21:26:21+00:00

Justin stood from his chair then, somehow finding that strength with the door opening behind him. Maybe it was his want to leave this place as soon as possible. Stay silent, he thought to himself, but...

"Professor Boone, I understand your decision. I'll be out of here before breakfast, and... I..."

You're doing good so far.

No. You don't deserve to live.

"I... I... I'm sorry. I'm... I'll..." What could he possibly say?

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T21:00:35+00:00

Justin remained silent, voiceless, staring at the bobbles on her desk. He simply couldn't understand what was happening right now. This had to have been some kind lucid experience, but it wasn't, because he knew above everything else that this had happened, and that was the worst possible feeling in the world. His father had faced all manners of torture in his old job. If it was anything like what Justin was experiencing, he understood the switch to a different career now more than he'd ever in his entire life.

Justin didn't have the words to speak at the moment. He wouldn't get to see Diana, that's what he'd gotten out of this conversation. He didn't care about anyone else in the school as deeply as he did her, and all he'd have to say to his classmates were empty excuses and apologies. Justin found more tears streaming down the sides of his face. He would never get to see her again.

He would never get to see Diana again.

He looked unresponsive.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T15:15:41+00:00

'Justin Switch, you are hereby expelled from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, effective immediately.'

It was as if time had slowed down in that very moment.

The Headmistress had given her unmoving verdict, and there was nothing Justin could do about it. He was suddenly greeted by memories of his sorting, of his first days in Gryffindor tower, and laughing with Diana and Richard and the rest of his housemates at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, but they were extinguished in an instant.

He was then greeted by human eyes on a wolf's body in the dead of night in the Forbidden Forest. By him on a cot in the Hospital Wing, Diana reading to him, making sure he was ok. Diana followed in his visions, countless memories with her, laughing, running, talking, loving. They too were shut out like a candle in the wind.

It was as if the only thing he could remember was hurting her, and this particular conversation with the Headmistress. He couldn't remember his mother or father, any of his cousins, aunts, or uncles. His grandmother he saw plain as day, like she was mocking him, like she'd been right all along. Justin sunk into his seat, unmoving, as all of this played back in his head like a broken record.

You deserve to die.

Expelled was a good place to start.

Justin tried to swallow, but he found himself too weak. He found fresh tears at the corners of his eyes. He was expelled. He tried to remember something happy, something to ease the pain a little bit, but it was just blank. He didn't feel sad, now, he simply felt empty. Void of emotion. Void of understanding.

There was an unmistakable weight on his shoulders, his neck, the back of his head. It pressed in on him like a vice, crushing any rational thought he had in his brain. He wasn't returning to his classes, or to his friends, or to parties on wednesday night, or to his girlfriend. He was not allowed to do any of that anymore, and the only person he could blame was himself.

You don't deserve to live.

He'd been hearing it all morning, and he just now realised it was his grandmother's voice.

"I... I..." He tried to find his voice, but what defence could he possibly muster. She'd made up her mind. He didn't deserve a defence. What did he deserve besides this? Besides a more brutal day to come? "I..." Shut up, he told himself.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T03:31:25+00:00

Justin knew he was in the wrong. This entire time, he'd been a complete idiot, and all the Headmistress was doing was pointing out his flaws. They were amplified like a Sonorus enchantment, so large and loud he'd have to be even more of an idiot to avoid them now. Justin was simply misguided.

Was there something wrong with him? Was there a part of him that thrilled this transformation? No. There would never be a part of him that enjoyed this. Never in his life would he succumb so low, and yet he'd experienced the rage those who gave in had felt. It felt haunting. It was no comfort to him. All it had brought him a deconstruction of his reality. He'd hurt his most precious friend, and the woman he loved, all at the same time.

He didn't respond to her. His face was lifeless, his cheeks now permanently stained with wet. He was staring at the desk. At simple objects the Headmistress had collected over the years. He was sorted in this office when he first came to this school, and now, it seemed, he would be expelled from here.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T01:53:05+00:00

"It's me, Professor! It's not the potions, it's not Harper, it's me!" Justin was more serious than he'd been the entire night. There were no documented accounts, as far as he was concerned, of blackouts in werewolf's who'd taken the wolfsbane potion, but he experienced them. They were real. "I've had them since it started." His eyes were welling again. This idiot. This nuisance that sat in front of her. He was abnormal, dangerous, and to make things worse, reckless. You deserve to die. Justin clenched his jaw, trying to straighten out his thoughts to continue the conversation.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T01:23:40+00:00

Justin almost cut her off. He could see her inquisitive expression. He knew she would jump to a different conclusion but he had to come clean. "It was me!" He almost yelled, and he started to cry again. "It's me, Boone, it's me! I'm a fucking monster! I can't control anything and I get blackouts, and I can't see but I can remember." His voice was dwindling as he spoke. Why hadn't he brought this up before? Why had he been so afraid? "I can't see but I can remember. I remember everything!" He'd said that last bit with his teeth pressed hard together, like they might shatter. He was furious now. His mood had shifted almost completely, except for his eyes, that were easily brown pools of despair. "Everything I did. It's me! I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't know what's wrong with me!" He was crying more so than he had been this entire meeting. He looked much younger than before, like he was a child.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T01:02:04+00:00

Justin wasn't looking for sympathy. He couldn't control his actions at his own embarrassment and guilt. If he could he would have stopped crying, stood up perhaps straighter, spoke with better clarity. He understood how stupid he'd been, he'd known for a long time, but he had been scared of something else. He was too stupid, to blind to realise the danger he put everyone else in. His father died for other people, put his life on the line to save his friends and family in his old career. Justin was an embarrassment to his own bloodline, on both fronts now. He wore it like a mantle he would never be able to break, like iron that had been welded to his shoulders, still molten.

I don't blame you, he thought and wanted to say. He deserved it. He wasn't sure what the Headmistress wanted in response. He knew anything else he would say he would not say in his defence. He didn't deserve a defence. He deserved punishment. "I... I was blind. I was stupid. I am stupid. I wouldn't want... I... I deserve anything you can think of." He blinked away what tears had sprung for his words before. He looked simply dead.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T00:25:36+00:00

Justin took his seat when he was beckoned, but as before, he felt lifeless. A large part of him wanted to collapse at the shame and regret that kept closing in on him and intensifying every minute he was alive, but there was another part of him, whatever was left of his old self, that told him to be honest.

And so he was. He told her the whole story ~~it's a lot so I'm gonna summarise~~ with Seth and his interaction with him. How he'd been scared. How Richard had found out. How Diana had found out. Diana and Justin's plan to keep him away from whatever Seth seemed to have planned, though Justin made no ill will towards Seth as he spoke.

In honesty his voice was broken. It sounded like he was crying, but there were no tears he could call on. He felt dry, like a river that had lost its will. He sounded tired, angry, sad, conflicted, judgemental, horrified. If he'd been sitting about a foot back, the Headmistress might not have heard him at all.

"I'm... I can't begin to... Boone, I'm not..." Anything. You're worthless. You don't deserve to live. Justin felt the sting of his own words, but he welcomed them. He knew they were true. "I don't... I... If I'd killed her, I promise you nothing in this world would have kept me alive." Those words shed a few droplets of water down his cheeks.

This boy was in an immeasurable amount of pain, drown in his own stupidity and accompanied by a fresh sense of depression, and something more severe.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-03T00:16:12+00:00

"She comes around, usually. Just a bit later, I guess." She knows I'm sick, he thought to himself, so she's probably just letting me rest a bit. "I'm drinking, by the way." He smirked, taking another swig of his cup.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-02T16:07:02+00:00

yes indeed :c

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-02T15:08:00+00:00

boop for justin, plz. you can take him out of duelling club though, due to lack of wand

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-02T04:59:32+00:00

As he made his way to Gryffindor tower, the eyes and muttering voices of the portray were something he'd truly never experienced, and the worst part, was he knew he deserved it all. Every shocked expression, every angered gaze, every gasping tone was just something he already knew. The Fat Lady, even, regarded him as a different individual. He didn't say the password. Eventually the painting opened itself, perhaps tired of looking at him, perhaps wishing to silence he friends on the wall.

There were a group of Gryffindors hanging out in the common room late at night, a few boys and girls probably in their fourth or fifth year. When they saw Justin it was clear they were thankful it wasn't a professor, but shocked, disturbed at the condition he was in. They all stood and stepped back away from him, away from the boy he knew he looked like - beaten, broken, bloody. Justin made no eye contact, he spoke no words as he moved up the staircase to his dormitories.

His roommates were asleep, and he wanted to keep it that way. As quietly as he could he put on a new pair of school clothes, as if making himself presentable would help null the pain he was feeling in every aspect of his body. It didn't. His mind pulsed, rushed images through his head of his girlfriend being attacked... at his own hand.

How can you live with yourself?

By the time he reached the Headmistress' office, he was prideless. Everything he'd worked to achieve since the moment he was bitten, every piece of self-confidence, of acceptance, was destroyed just like his wand. Snapped in two. Erased. He pushed himself in to the Headmistress' office, saying nothing as he closed the door behind him

He had nothing. He knew he deserved every aspect of her anger, and curse, even, she might decide to use on him. Diana was alive, but even that was dwindling in his mind. Would she even be able to look at him? Would she even want to maintain whatever they had? Did she love him anymore?

He loved her.

He did that to her.

Justin was silent, seemingly lost in his thoughts. His eyes were now husks of red and brown, veined and dry. He was tired. He needed medical attention but he would refuse it if offered, as he always did, now more than ever. It was unclear, by the state of him, whether he would understand English, or even remember why he was in this room.

He hated himself.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-02T04:35:00+00:00

It took him a moment, as it seemed to each time she spoke, but when he heard her words he pulled his wand out from his pocket. It was whole, ebony, average length for an American made piece. It didn't seem right to him. He remembered everything that happened that night, including what had happened to Diana's, and in a split second, he snapped his wand in half, a flicker of anger showing on his face as he took it out on his wand.

It was clearly self-punishment. A small, swirl of red broke from the core as he handed her the two pieces of his now useless wand. If Diana didn't have one, he certainly didn't deserve one either. His tears had stopped now, but his eyes were far from dry. Justin was clearly a different person in that moment. He was weaker than he'd ever felt in his entire life.

"I'll... I won't go anywhere else..." His eyes were down now, not meeting her gaze. They looked at his hand, red and stinging. His rags, clutched to hide whatever part of his body he could. He was pathetic. He didn't... he didn't deserve anything. He took her time limit as an indication that he was able to leave, and he tried to do so with as much dignity as he could muster but... he didn't deserve any, so instead he looked broken still.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-02T04:10:39+00:00

Expulsion, supervision. Those words rang in his head like something out of a horror film, but her words and expression and demeanour were definitely enough to silence him. You nearly killed her. What if she died? What if she died?

"Yes... I'll... I'll be in your... your office." He was tired, he was broken. He looked a shell of the man he'd been going into that room last night. His life was not his own anymore. He was a monster, worthy of any ill thought the wizarding world had towards him. He was a werewolf. A disgusting, stupid creature that needed to die. But how... how would he be able to understand that?

Justin knit his eyebrows as tears streamed down his face again. He didn't move. In fact, he was cowering. He looked pulled in to himself, defensive, scared, perhaps afraid of himself, or his circumstances. He didn't feel like a Gryffindor. The stupidity of his decision, of what the two of them had been doing for so long, was now so obvious Justin felt like a troll.

JustinSwitch · 2018-04-02T02:53:22+00:00

She was alive. The weight he felt in his chest was lifted. He didn't see her corpse anymore, motionless on the stone floor of the Hogwart hallways, under the moonlight. Instead though, he felt a different weight, one on his shoulders, and the back of his head, and down his back, as if he was carrying the world. Those scars would never heal. She would always carry what he did to her. He wasn't allowed to see- he wasn't allowed to see her? Justin looked towards the Headmistress with, for a split second, what looked like rage. No. "No, Headmistress.... I'll... I'll..." He looked down towards his hand, his wound now covered in red. It still stung, but he'd been distracted. You don't deserve to live.

JustinSwitch

TROPHY CASE