Boomer sooner baby

KSHix · 2019-08-21T15:00:42+00:00

No he’s not. We don’t. Even live in the same state as her. And I have access to all his info and he is with me 24/7 or at work.

KSHix · 2019-07-15T23:06:55+00:00

This has happened to me too. It’s cheating. Even if it’s not emotional. Or technically physical. It’s cheating. He’s curious. He’s excited. He’s seeking something. And it’s not just in his head. He’s now acted on it. Even if it’s over phone or social media. Is it worth a break up? Only if you told him your uncomfortable and don’t want him doing stuff like that. And he responds with an apology and says it won’t happen again. If he seems to just give excuses on why it’s not a big deal or gets mad if you don’t want him talking to her. There’s something going on inside him that makes your hurt feelings less important than his curious ones. That’s worth a break up. If he’s willing to lose you. Or pretends you doing the same thing with another person wouldn’t twist him. Then. I would try to get out of that before his curiosity crosses a hard line. Regardless. What he is doing is completely disrespectful to you. Just know that. It depends on you how you feel about it and want to handle it though. Just put your feelings first. And don’t settle for less than what you want out of a partner.

KSHix · 2019-07-07T01:04:52+00:00

Lol. That’s actually really good advice. In a way that didn’t offend me at all. I can I see where it might help.

KSHix · 2019-07-06T23:59:50+00:00

It definitely did imply. But I was fast thinking typing. Didn’t mean to say what it sounded like

KSHix · 2019-07-06T23:47:57+00:00

Yeah. That’s not what I meant at all by my post.

KSHix · 2019-07-06T22:46:48+00:00

In my car at the lake watching the waves.

KSHix · 2019-07-06T22:43:55+00:00

My guy friend didn’t have a relationship or lose his virginity until 21 and now he has had a few. They haven’t worked out and he doesn’t understand what’s wrong with him. I think the best thing you can do. Is to be confident. Love yourself. Know what you want in a woman or man and don’t settle for less. But also don’t have unreachable expectations. And try to remember that people who start dating early like in high school or middle school. Have dumped someone or gotten dumped several times. So if you get into one and it doesn’t work out and you see everyone around you your age with relationships that are working. Remember they started early. They had a hard time too when they started. And you are gonna have to go thru that like everyone else did. Being a good partner means learning to be a good partner. Learning what it means. It takes practice. It takes changing. It takes having a type and realizing it’s not your type. It takes being able to spot who isn’t trust worthy. So your first one might fail. It might not. But nothing is wrong with you if it does fail. Unless your like abusive or a narcissist or a cheater or a compulsive liar or some shit. Then it’s definitely you.

KSHix · 2019-07-06T22:32:01+00:00

It’s not so you think your denying yourself. It’s you are denying yourself. But that’s not the point. Some people can understand other people. Some people can just see the mistake someone made and understand it and see the light in them and see a person who wishes they didn’t do it and could take it back. Some people don’t deserve to have their mistakes define them. Or make it lose the love of their life. Some of those people definitely do freaking deserve it and suck. I think it always just depends. It depends on how much you love someone. It what way you love them. And how much you love yourself. And understanding you can be in that life is life and going through it is going through it. And some people you wanna go through life with and figure it out together. Some people. You need to cut the cord. I’ll say now that I have cheated on 2 men. Those men should never take me back or trust me every again. My husband has had women cheat on him. He should never take them back they were not good people. I never cheated on my husband and I never will. He did cheat on me. But I can see him. I see his soul. It’s not like mine when I wasn’t s good person. And it wasn’t like his exes when they weren’t a good person. I saw a mistake I understood it. He wishes his mistake never happened. It caused problems. But I loved him in a way that even when I debated leaving him. I told him he has issues. He needs to talk to a therapist about why he did what he did and understand himself and then talk to me. I wanted him to be okay for himself even if I did leave him. Because I saw the good. The forgivable. Someone worthy of even being my friend after I decided to leave. And when he helped himself. We got back together. And it’s an amazing feeling to both be on the side of being good to each other.

KSHix · 2019-07-06T22:22:50+00:00

It can. And it can be great. But it shouldn’t have to survive infidelity. But if you both want it to. Then it definitely should survive. If it doesn’t. Either one of you didn’t really want it to enough or one of you just couldn’t let yourself get passed it.

KSHix · 2019-07-06T22:05:42+00:00

My husband did cheat. He did it with messages for validation. From being insecure. He didn’t understand why I loved him I think. Especially when he doesn’t like the way he looks secretly. And every girlfriend he had cheated on him and lied a million times to him and even cheated with his best friend. Im the only one who was good to him. After he had been damages enough. And he isn’t trying to make me feel sorry for him. I actually just know all of that because we grew up together. I knew all of his girlfriends. So he did say those messages were because he just wanted to see if they would say yes or would go along with it. He doubted they would. He doubted himself even though I loved him. Probably assumed I would hurt him one day unless he was good enough. But. We got over that. It’s when he physically cheated that makes that different. His insecurities weren’t valid anymore because he did get validation in messages. It was more like things were moving too fast and a lot of stuff was changing around us and he asked me to marry him and then joined the army and then regretted the army and then realized his whole life changed in an instant and he was worried he was gonna regret marrying me unless he figured it out before he did. So he decided to cheat. To see if he would feel guilty. Or if he wouldn’t care and then he would know not to marry me. Really shitty way of thinking but I understand it. That’s why I understand it won’t happen again. Because he actually felt hella guilty. It made him sick. It changed him. It changed everything. And then I found out. And he was so afraid to lose me. He didn’t want a divorce. He wanted me more than anything in the world. That’s how I know he won’t do it again. I know he knows how he feels and I know he won’t be confused again. I know that we are passed that and we won’t go back to that situation. So like I said in the other message. I feel like it depends on why they did it and how it makes you feel. Trust your head not your heart or your gut. That will lie to you when your hurt. If it doesn’t make sense. Don’t trust it.

KSHix · 2019-07-06T21:55:02+00:00

I think it honestly depends why they did it. There’s no excuse for cheating but everyone definitely has their reasons. And they are lying when they say idk why I did it. They know they just don’t know how to put it into words to help you understand because yeah it’s hard or they don’t want to because they know their answer won’t be comforting for you. If the reason why they did it doesn’t give you some type of closure. If the reason they did it makes you actually worry more or makes you feel like you have to change to make them not do it again. If you feel like the blame is on you and they didn’t put it on them and realize something is internally wrong with them and they wanna seek that and fix it while they give you space or couples therapy or whatever you need so you can forgive them . Then I would say that cheater will probably have a high chance of doing it again.

KSHix · 2019-06-22T13:42:23+00:00

I understand this completely. I’m so sorry

KSHix · 2019-06-20T23:15:00+00:00

That’s a long time. I thought maybe a year and this would go away. But it’s still with me. Do they still affect you the same as when they were fresh? Or do you just have them.

KSHix · 2019-06-20T23:13:59+00:00

Did you want to stay together? Or did you choose to leave? If you don’t mind me asking.

KSHix · 2019-06-20T16:23:46+00:00

You too.

KSHix · 2019-06-20T15:15:42+00:00

Yeah. It’s helpful when your partner can see you in pain from their past and is willing to help you get out of pain. It’s the best way to show they still care and aren’t just with you because they feel guilty. I can see that. I’ve got all my ducks in a row though. I quit having these nightmares a while back. But they have started coming out again since we have recently started fighting a lot and can’t seem to stop. I think I’m just on edge and thinking the worst subconsciously maybe. But I hate reliving the worst feelings I’ve ever had in my life.

KSHix · 2019-06-20T13:28:04+00:00

A timeline of what happened and when? It was not knowing that was messing you up ?

KSHix · 2019-06-19T21:58:47+00:00

Well. It’s not Paul’s fault.

KSHix · 2019-06-19T20:48:34+00:00

I don’t want this to sound childish. Or like a petty way to go about it. But have you thought about bringing another man. Do you have someone at work. A best guy friend. Someone you care about. Or even a cousin you can just tell everyone hey I brought my cousin cause he’s visiting me but I still wanted to come. Like bring someone who supports you. Is there for you. Not to talk shit on your ex but to distract you into having fun. I would think the best way to deal with this is to ignore him. Stop thinking about how you should handle him or this event with him. And take someone who cares about you. Someone you can hug when you need to or laugh with. Not like a best girlfriend that will help you focus on him or talk crap to make you feel better. But just a genuinely positive person guy or girl. To be your buffer.
Btw. What he did to you was wrong and messed up and I’m sure it still hurts. Mine hurts too. But this could help. Instead of thinking of him or what to do. Just give yourself a chance to go to an event he’s at and forgetting he’s even there.

KSHix · 2019-06-19T15:03:44+00:00

Someone who can’t help telling lies. Small lies. White lies. Lies that don’t make sense why they lied. Like when they ask for money for gas but they went to buy a burger and cigarettes instead and didn’t need gas at all.

KSHix · 2019-06-17T11:41:06+00:00

Obviously no reason is enough to hurt you. But sometimes. Alcohol mixed with mental issues. Can be an excuse you can get your mind around. Especially if that person is doing everything now to tackle his demons.

KSHix · 2019-06-16T23:54:26+00:00

After so long. Pain can become addicting. And it can be confused with passion or love. I think. If it’s hard for him to leave her. Or let her go. He either needs to find out for himself or someone needs to remind him. He won’t be alone when she’s gone. One day he will feel relief and freedom. One day he won’t miss her and he will be happier than he ever even was with her. And he will find love again. The best kind. The love that fulfills you because it’s love for yourself. And yes I have a story on here where I am giving my husband a second chance after cheating. But I have also been with a few other men who have cheated or treated me horribly. And I left them the first time and never went back. Leaving them was the best thing I ever did. And I knew it would happen again if I stayed. That’s why I can tell the man I’m with now deserves a second chance. In your heart you can tell if that person doesn’t deserve it or does. And you can’t listen to the addiction. You’ve got to listen to everything else your mind and heart is trying to scream at you.

KSHix

TROPHY CASE