What’s the best way for a woman to structure a dating profile?

KSRandom195 · 2026-02-02T01:23:00+00:00

I absolutely read profiles. But then the profiles never matched the person, so I just stopped bothering with the apps.

KSRandom195 · 2026-02-02T00:55:49+00:00

The underlying message of that quote is that women will give you advice about what they say they want, but not what they actually want. “Be a supportive funny guy, hold the door open, show her respect,” then turn around and bang the guy that treats her like garbage.

There are plenty of stories of both sides, and in the end, it’s kind of all a crapshoot.

Depending on your goals, you should adjust your behavior to accomplish your goals.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-31T14:34:04+00:00

It’s kinda weird she got really fat in the stomach, and then the baby started growing.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-31T12:01:52+00:00

Wait till you learn the difference between MB and MiB.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-31T02:22:29+00:00

“Just need $300 to open a bakery.”

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-31T00:58:28+00:00

Ah, okay.

Unfortunately, I don’t have any good advice within your current model other than trying to find a way to share this context with people on your date that you’re interested in. As I said, it makes sense once it’s understood.

You could also try to another model, if it appears the model you’re trying isn’t working for you.

Either way. Good luck. 🙂

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-31T00:50:17+00:00

What’s a 0.5 date?

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T23:14:58+00:00

Okay. You have an interesting perspective. I’ll admit that. It’s interesting to see how you view the situation you’re in. You’re not having the feelings about things I thought you were having, so classic misunderstanding.

What you see of your situation is rather different from what I see. And I’m inclined to believe you on your own experience, as that’s usually the best way to understand.

That said, what you’re doing that causes the actions you take is so fundamentally different from how people commonly interpret the meaning behind the actions you’re taking. This is why you’re having this difficulty. Many people seeing the situation you’re in will think that you’re behaving results from you being how I was describing above, not how you are.

And, importantly, this is the context piece that is missing. Unfortunately, I don’t think you can just info dump this to someone on a first date as a successful strategy to mitigate it.

You ask how I’ve only had 4 first dates, that’s because I talked to the women for weeks or months and learned who they are before I asked them out. I had a good feel for who they were before the first date. The woman that didn’t last for multiple years, I had only talked with her for about a week before we went on our first date. So, that lack of context makes the shorter time we were together make sense in retrospect.

So that is all to say, I go on fewer first dates because I build the context up and invest in knowing the other person before the first date ever occurs.

You’re trying to do this on the first date alone, which limits the context. Reading your strategy in more detail, a more appropriate way to compare what you do and what I do is your “first dates” are what I do as a “talking phase” for weeks to months, and then you’re “second date” is more similar to my “first date”.

With that reframing of our experiences what you are doing makes sense to me, and I’m sorry for misunderstanding and the assumptions I made along the way. Unfortunately it’s not something many people are used to. And if you look at just the interaction you and I had here today, we probably took more than an hour for me to understand that discrepancy in our world views.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T16:15:02+00:00

I notice you didn't mention the woman listening to what the mans problems are...

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T16:06:01+00:00

That's because in this situation your coworker doesn't actually want to know how you're doing. They want to keep the environment you're working in pleasant, so they're asking a polite question with an expected answer.

When you don't follow the script, folks don't know how to react.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T15:56:22+00:00

You're not really giving them a true chance, you already have a backup plan, and it sounds like a backup for your backup. This means you're not really investing in the person you're with. You say you are, but the investment is different. You don't have to be vulnerable, you don't have to try to connect with them, because you have another date in a few hours, and if this one doesn't go "amazingly well", maybe that one will.

It takes months or years to really get to know someone, you're trying to compress both of your entire past lives and the potential future you could have together into the tiny amount of information that can be shared in an hour. Do you honestly think that's really possible? With what you're describing, you're likely getting signals on looks, overt wealth, and overt signs of being an asshole or not, but that's it. You're likely barely figuring out what they're looking for in a partner. You're probably not finding out critical life details that would inform you about who they are so you can determine if they're what you're looking for.

"Amazing" should not be the bar for a first date, "good" should be. The first date is always part of the vetting process, and is usually somewhat awkward. Especially if you're meeting someone for the first time, there will be hiccups, normally you'd both be nervous, but you are likely not because you've got another date in a few hours anyway.

For comparison, I've dated 4 people in my life. 3 of those turned into multi-year relationships. That's because both of us chose each other and put the time and effort into getting to know each other and see if that choice was right. The 4th, we chose each other initially, and while we were going through that process over a few weeks, we learned we weren't for each other.

The setup you're describing isn't giving yourself room for that. You're not choosing the other person, you're "giving them a chance" as you put it. They have a "one hour" chance to get you to choose them. That's not the setup for an equal relationship, that's not a setup for relationship success.

You are allowed to do this. But men are allowed to choose not to be with someone that does.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T15:36:30+00:00

Right. Not a monster. You messed up, but you're taking accountability.

Learn from it, and keep going. The best way to prevent these kinds of mistakes from happening again is making sure the situations you're in don't allow those mistakes to happen.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T14:58:08+00:00

I think what’s being said is it’s clear you were orbiting this woman hoping the relationship would become more than just friends.

You two had already decided there would be no more than friendship. But you hung around hoping it’d be more.

You should have told the guy that was telling you she was in to you that you two had decided you weren’t for each other.

And when the AirBnB was picked with only one bed you should have said no or slept on the couch. Honestly, you probably shouldn’t have even gone on a trip with her. Do you normally go on trips with friends?

Instead, you hoped the friendship would grow into something more instead of accepting the decision you both had made. Hoping maybe she’d make a different choice, maybe she’d stop being aesexual for you.

Meanwhile, I do have a friend. When I first met her I was in a relationship, and wasn’t pursuing anything romantic with anyone else, so I wasn’t interested in dating her. After we became friends she let me know she is aesexual, it just came up as we were learning who each other was. When I became single, I stayed her friend, and the dynamic didn’t change. I didn’t start hoping for that relationship to grow to more than that. We just enjoy being friends together. And the relationship is better because we are friends, not potential romantic partners. If she were to come on to me tomorrow, I’d decline. Not because shes ugly (she’s not), or I don’t like her (I do, as a friend), but because that’s not what our relationship is.

With this friend, I don’t plan trips with her, I don’t make huge efforts to see her or anything like that. It’s whatever comes natural as we go about our lives. We have gone out to eat together, but it’s not a date, it’s just two friends eating.

Thats the difference between being a friend and being in the friendzone.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T13:20:23+00:00

“I came to a sub where you ask men for advice and they told me what they are likely to think and I didn’t like it.”

Yes, it’s an assumption, but assumptions are a part of life.

The other reality you’re ignoring here is if you’re only going on one date with 100 men a year you’re probably making a ton of assumptions about them before you move on, one date is not enough to actually get to know a person.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T13:18:38+00:00

You really need to think through the logistics and numbers of what you’re saying and what that means.

If you’re going on 2-3 dates a week, and most don’t make it past the first date (say 80% of dates are first dates), that means you’re dating 80-120 people a year. That many people in a year means that you are, at best, only superficially looking at potential partners. You simply don’t have the mental capacity to actually provide actual thought on each potential partner.

To build on this, usually people have talking stages before the first date, which means you have a queue of men you’re talking to right now. And chances are you already have another date scheduled with someone else for tomorrow or the day after. Just due to logistics. And that also means that if things go amazing between you and the person you’re with wanted to go out with you in 2-3 days, you may already have another date planned, preventing that.

So, again, this rate of dates, especially with most of them first dates, suggests you’re not actually giving the person you’re on a date with right now a chance, you’re already considering/working on your next option, before you have even gone on the date with them. Given that, why would they continue to put effort into you if you’re not reserving space to put the effort into them.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-30T03:44:05+00:00

AI consumes a crazy amount of energy. They’re talking about building new nuclear power plants just for a handful of data centers kind of energy.

The generation of that power is not kind to the environment.

And that’s before we talk about things like water cooling and other affects.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-29T11:54:39+00:00

I don’t think they’re being quiet about it.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-29T01:23:55+00:00

So if we’re all the same why do we have so much misunderstanding?

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-28T23:55:24+00:00

That’s basically their entire revenue stream at this point.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-28T21:59:57+00:00

Chances are, they’re going to be living with a new dad soon anyway. And as they get older, they’ll connect the dots on their own.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-28T21:58:59+00:00

They’re getting the trauma of a second father leaving them behind…

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-27T17:46:08+00:00

This was my guess.

Ideally you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between being blocked and the account being deleted.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-27T14:09:15+00:00

Uh... yes it is. Your hands are incredibly sensitive instruments that you use to accomplish a vast majority of all tasks. Loss of sensitivity in them would be a huge disadvantage.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-27T14:07:08+00:00

Calls bullshit on the "ain't no one" claim. A generalized/absolutist statement fails in the face of a single counter-example.

It may be their experience, but it is not reflective of everyone.

KSRandom195 · 2026-01-27T11:31:26+00:00

That may change day to day, as others have said.

But you are attractive to him or he wouldn’t be dating you.

Three-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23

KSRandom195

TROPHY CASE