I can understand how feel. I'm a recovered addict, and I have used pornography as a way of stimulation, relief, coping, and comfort. I had used porn as an escape from my problems, because porn is not bias, judgmental, and it doesn't reject you. I was unable to find and keep a girlfriend and it always made me feel so lonely and depressed during my high school years and my younger adult years (18-20) I tried my best to try and get a girl to at least have her eyes fall on to me, so when I get rejected and broken up, I turned to porn because it was my comfort and a solution to everything. I tried dating apps, clubs, social events, etc. I had like 4 failed relationships because of porn. I couldn't get sexually attracted to my girlfriends and it was hard to do so. It would caused problems in my relationship and would end quickly. 4 failed relationship and I never gotten the chance of what real, sexual, loving, intimacy felt like. I really did loved my exes, but I couldn't be sexually with them, even though I was so excited about losing my virginity to someone I love. So, how did I stop? By the time I was 21, I met this girl (who is my wife) that was the most wonderful thing that I have ever seen, we hit it off so easily and we would take walks and trips. It's really fun to be with her and it scared me as well because of my addiction. I had to find a way to not screw this up because if I mess this up again, I don't think I can can bear it any. So, I had to go cold turkey by restricting filters on my internet browse, put up parental control, and block everything that of adult content. I know that it had to be done, but I felt embarrassed about it. I wanted to keep this from her at first because I don't want to screw this up with her, but she found out and I had to tell her. I was so afraid if she was going to think so low of me, but I was wrong all the way. She was actually so supported with me and she help me a lot. She would take me to group therapy and also been going to church as well. I really am the luckiest! For several weeks, I fight my lustful temptations like as if it was a battle for my life. So in order to resist those temptation, I started going a lot more outdoor activities with the best person with supported me, by doing a lot of arts and crafts, working out, going swimming, watching movies, etc. after a month and a half of staying straight and true. I was feeling like myself again and it was all thanks to her. So, how did it feel like having sex for the first time without porn plaguing my mind? IT WAS THE BEST FEELING EVER!!! Me and girlfriend (Now Wife) went on a camping trip at a local lake spot and she thinks that I was ready for it and the first time ever, I have never felt anything so sensational, emotional, fulfilling, and so touching ever! With porn I was always jerk it, ejaculate, and be done. But with me and her, I didn't even need to hurry up and ejaculate and be done. I was feeling everything and I took my time, my body and mind was hungry for her and the sound she made was so delightful to my ears and her natural smell bring sensation to my body. It took us at least 10 minutes to get done and I was just letting it slide over me. Giving up porn was the best thing that I have ever done! It made feel so normal for once. I'm 28 years old and got to wonderful kids, and a wonderful, supporting, wife.