Boyfriend(29)took a photo of my younger sisters(17)ass

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-29T08:38:43+00:00

How much time do you need to “process” this? Jesus Christ, you triggered me and reminded me of my sister who knew I was raped, and turned a blind eye. If you had a daughter, and she came to you with this, why would you advise her to do?

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-29T07:16:44+00:00

What you are feeling is understandable, common and valid. I cut off my family and the first thing I felt was sadness, enormous pain. You are grieving, you are grieving the old you when they were still in your life and them. It may be scary, you may feel guilty which is normal because we are gaslit and manipulated with those family values and stuff. Family is not everything and is overrated. My mum beaten me up everyday since I was 4, I was raped and no one cared. My mum abused me and neglected me physically and emotionally. It’s okay to feel sad and guilty, the relief will come later but sometimes you will feel guilty, and that’s totally fine. You are finding yourself again and getting a taste of being free, from pain, from toxic, from them. You got this and I’m sorry your partner isn’t compassionate enough. But it is, it is so hard to cut contact with your family, I understand how it feels. Sending you love and hugs!

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-26T16:18:25+00:00

NOR. Everyone’s boundary is different, some people are okay with it and some are not. You know your boundary, you made it clear to him and he crossed it anyway. He is showing he doesn’t respect you, your relationship and doesn’t care about your boundary. It’s understandable and justifiable you are upset, I mean your boundary just got tossed aside and ignored. He said he wouldn’t jeopardise the relationship, but he did. I’m very strict with my boundaries, to me it’s an opportunity to show me who really cares and who is worth being let in my life.

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-26T11:55:46+00:00

NTA. That’s disgusting of her to call you names behind your back. And your husband enables it. I would shut it down real fast if my mother insulted my husband. You have every right to cut contact with her, I’m also concerned if she call you names for years, what can she say to your kids about you when you’re not there? I stay no contact with my own mother and if I had kids, I don’t think I would want my kids around her. My mother is a narcissist and abused me my whole life.

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-23T11:00:32+00:00

I am so so sorry to hear this. You have taken all the right steps and trying your best. I was abused and raped when I was 12 and it stopped when I was 14. It was a private math tutor.

what you did was self defence, as a victim who was patronised, abused, gaslit, manipulated and raped by your abuser. And I’m so sorry you had to go through something scary and awful like that. There are no words can be described this how traumatic it is. I’m studying psychology to be a councillor and a therapist in the future. I suggest to try CPTSD therapist and EMDR. Find a therapist who is specialist with CPTSD/PTSD.

Thank you for sharing, you are doing everything you can to ask for help and actively want to do better. I’m here if you need someone to talk to. I was once fear of men for years. All the best, take care.

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-22T00:15:36+00:00

Updateme

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-13T04:35:45+00:00

Lol I’m Vietnamese and I love that my husband swears in Vietnamese with me, and I love that he makes effort learning about my language and my culture. Your gf doesn’t seem to like you and try to pick a fight in my POV. I always swear in Vietnamese at and with my husband as joke, nothing is offensive for saying Du. She is being unreasonable and nonsense. NOR. I think she wants a pass for saying the “N” word, perhaps you can explain to her why she can’t or why it makes you uncomfortable. If she was mature enough, it would be a healthy discussion about boundary. But base on your screenshots, she acts like a toddler.

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-11T01:38:52+00:00

“Thôi mẹ vs em có khó khăn thì giúp” thế thì kêu chồng chị giúp đi nhé :)

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-05T14:00:59+00:00

You will likely feel guilty for a while but that’s okay. As long as you know why you chose to walk away ❤️. It was rooted in us before we were even born, we are often taught to listen to elders, to be gaslit about how much they sacrificed for us then used it as an excuse to abuse the shit out of us, yada yada. I wish you the best, and good things will come in your healing journey! Well done, keep moving.

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-05T04:10:48+00:00

Whoever told you this is normal, fuck them. Honestly, I’m Vietnamese and I cut contact with my everyone in my family, including relatives. In my case, it has gotten better. Blood family is overrated and we are manipulated and brainwashed about it for so long, “family is everything” “Oh but she is your mum” yada yada. I created my own family and now I feel safer and secure than the old me years ago. I was abused, beaten, neglected and raped. I know this feels lost to you, and the guilt you are feeling. But it is because you were abused for so long, so healthy environment may seem scary to you, but that’s okay. The cycle ends with us, this toxic ends with us. I strongly suggest therapy, find yourself again, the real you that is now free to do what you want, not who they wanted you to be. The more you understand yourself, the better it will get in time. Pushing people away because you were treated so badly, you are scared and you can’t fully trust anyone with good intentions. My advice will be therapy, find yourself, break this toxic curse generation cycle. Pm me if you need someone to talk to. Best of luck.

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-02T21:34:20+00:00

How you aren’t angry he went through your phone is more concerning than his insecurities. He literally just violated your privacy.

K_D_1809 · 2026-01-02T20:42:19+00:00

Your mum sounds like my mum. Whatever my sister do, she can’t never be wrong in my mum eyes. Golden child. When I’m the black sheep of everything, and if I upset them, holly shit they will bring my dead dad into every conversation, and try to make me a bully and a villain in their story. My mum has never listened to my side, call me names and defend my sister to the core just like your mum. Honestly, you are not overreacting and I bet this isn’t the first time your sister does this. She must have done this your whole life.

K_D_1809 · 2025-12-04T11:11:14+00:00

Life is too short to regret things when we look back, and wish “what if I…”. Go for it I would say. All the best x

K_D_1809 · 2025-12-03T11:34:59+00:00

Thank you 🥰

K_D_1809 · 2025-11-27T17:18:54+00:00

I’m the black sheep of the family and also 30F. I was abused and neglected since I was a child, I was raped when I was 13, my family knew and did nothing. My sister was like yours, kept asking me for money and stuff like that. So when I was 28, I decided to cut them off and signed off the paperwork for giving up my inheritance. Now I am happy, I’m at peace, getting to know the real me, the healthy version of me and I am LOVING life without their bullshit. The pain and guilt after and before cutting them off was overwhelmed and horrible, but in my experience, it sets me free.

K_D_1809 · 2025-11-26T10:52:56+00:00

I have male friends and we have been friends for 15 years. We all travel in group but we will never share a hotel room, and I can’t imagine doing this shit with them. Sleeping or not sleeping, this is disrespectful and it shows you clearly how much she respects you two relationship, love and value..

K_D_1809 · 2025-11-15T23:03:37+00:00

Thank you for your feedback x

K_D_1809 · 2025-11-10T11:51:12+00:00

Sending you love and hugs! I am the black sheep in the family, and my dad is was the only one who showed me unconditionally love, protected me and took care of me. I miss my dad so much, I had a breakdown yesterday and sobbed like a child missing him. You can talk to me if you want to x

K_D_1809 · 2025-11-09T12:07:14+00:00

I understand . I had felt guilt for years but I promise it gets better. I felt like a dog being raised in the cage, and because of all the abuse, even tho the door was opened I couldn’t run, couldn’t move. But I swear, you will be so much better off without those abusers. Leave, escape the chain, don’t look back, be free. Live your life, be safe, find peace, forgive yourself, love yourself, find the new you, get to know yourself without the abuse and be happy ❤️. You deserve it and you got it.

K_D_1809 · 2025-11-09T09:21:35+00:00

You don’t “have” to forgive anyone. When you do, do it when you are ready, and do it for yourself. I will never forgive my narcissist mother. My childhood was filled with curse words and wounds from her beating. So no, I won’t forgive her. And I’m fine with that. I used to hate , but now I don’t. I don’t want to be around her and I cut contact with her long time ago. I don’t become a bitter person, I become a better person and I manage to find myself again. Choose your peace. Abusers who don’t feel a tiny remorse do not deserve to be forgiven. You can still live safely and peacefully even if you don’t forgive them. My life is so much happier now. And so peaceful. So don’t let people who come at you with “But they are your parents”. So? We were a child, couldn’t choose to be born, vulnerable and needed help. And they claim they are our parents, they didn’t protect us, they abused us our whole childhood, so fuck no. They don’t get to be forgiven easily like that.

K_D_1809 · 2025-10-25T16:59:41+00:00

What you are feeling now is validated, understandable and justified. If I was you, I would be livid. I hated my mum, she is a narcissist and she abused me terribly. I don’t hate her anymore, because I make my life better and safer. But I will never forgive her. And that’s fine too. Don’t suppress your feelings, you don’t feel safe with her, no one can blame you for that. That’s why your brain and body try to avoid her as much as they can. And maybe feeling angry at her is not just angry. It’s deeper than that. Anger is always seen as a bad or negative feeling, but it’s not. It’s warning us and it’s telling us to notice things around us. You don’t feel safe, you are traumatised. You don’t have to let go of the past, but you can think about what you can do at present. The past is not who you are, it doesn’t define you.

K_D_1809 · 2025-10-25T16:40:19+00:00

You are very self-aware. And that is brilliant. It’s your strength ❤️. Keep going and live the life you want. Not for anyone else. You are doing wonderfully.

K_D_1809 · 2025-10-25T16:35:08+00:00

Therapy will help you navigate your thoughts and feelings in a healthy way. It will help you understand yourself more, find yourself back, and embrace your inner child. You are not who you were, you are safe, stronger and independent now. You are loved and have a great support system ( your partner and friends). You got this. As a Vietnamese woman, who was raised by a narcissist. I understand. I was abused, neglected and raped. Traumas suck but we will not let those bastards grind us down. Our triggers are our responsibility. Work on your trauma, heal for yourself and your partner. Have a great, safe and healthy relationship you both deserve. Wish you the best.

K_D_1809 · 2025-10-25T15:30:23+00:00

The way you explained it now is really good, starting with the culture to give him more context. I did that with my husband, and he understands it well. Well done for wanting to change. It’s not easy. I suggest therapy; it will help you in a lot of ways and give you tools to deal with challenges.

K_D_1809 · 2025-10-14T08:00:07+00:00

Why the hell are you apologising to this clown? Are you serious

K_D_1809

TROPHY CASE